


Keep Me (In The Corner of Your Mind)

by AzzleDazzle



Series: Let Me Keep You (And Never Let You Go) [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Omega Verse, Slow Burn, mentions of vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-11-08 09:06:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11078409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzzleDazzle/pseuds/AzzleDazzle
Summary: A/B/O AU where Yuuri still gets trashed after coming in last at the Sochi Grand Prix Final and still seduces Viktor, but carries the reminder of that night with him in more ways than one. He must decide if he will keep everything a secret, carrying the stigma of an unmated omega with a baby, or step out in the world and let the cards fall where they may.(This does have mpreg. I wouldn't recommend reading it if you don't like it.)





	1. It’s not good to drink after pole dancing

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: the characters in this piece of fan fiction (please keep in mind that this is _Fan Fiction_ ) are flawed. They fuck up. They accidentally hurt each other. A few times. They're stupid and contradictory, just like real humans. They. Are. Flawed. It's what makes them interesting.
> 
> That being said, there are also inaccuracies about a few things. They are either intentional for the story or overlooked because it was not meant to become such a big story. Once again, this is Fan FICTION. 
> 
> If this is not your cup of tea, please stop reading now. If it's not your cup of tea and you decide to read it anyway and decide that you don't like it and want to leave a harassing comment bitching, please stop. Step away from your computer/phone/tablet. Take a walk. Pet a critter. Eat a cupcake and a granola bar and drink a bunch of water. Think about the fact that on the other side of the screen is a living, breathing human being with actual human emotions. Think about how you would feel if you were brave enough to post a story and someone commented with the same mean comment you're about to say. If you still feel like I deserve it, then go ahead.

Yuuri is… well, he’s drunk. He knows he is, he can feel the looseness in his limbs, the floaty feeling in his head. It’s nice, to float after sinking so low. Because going from third place to dead last in the Grand Prix Final is sinking pretty fucking low, in Yuuri’s opinion. Therefore, drinking.

“ _Mon cher_ , I think you’ve had enough,” Christophe tells him, taking the champagne flute, already halfway to Yuuri’s mouth, away.

“Chriiiiiis,” Yuuri whines, “I was drinking that.”

“Yuuuuuri,” Chris says mockingly, “it’s not good to drink after pole dancing.”

Yuuri squints suspiciously at Chris. The effect is somewhat ruined by the fact that Yuuri is a stereotypical omega, shorter than alphas and betas like Chris.  
  
“You’re making that up.”

“Who, me?” He pretends to look affronted, but Yuuri isn’t fooled, nope, not at all.

“Yes, you! Gimme back!” Now Chris is laughing and it’s not funny, Yuuri _needs_ to drown his sorrows, okay? He starts moving forward but stumbles. Before he can fall flat on his face (again), an arm catches him and Yuuri twists around to see it’s Viktor Nikiforov. “Oh, you’re so pretty,” he thinks.

“Ah, thank you, Yuuri.” Viktor’s cheeks are turning red.

“Oh, fuck, did I say that outloud?”

Chris is laughing behind them. “Yes, you did.”

“Viktor, Chris is being mean,” Yuuri says, pouting as he clings to Viktor’s arms. They’re still around him, strong and warm and- “Fuck, am I still saying it not in my head?”

“Yes, you are, _pryanichek_. How is our darling Christophe being mean?”

Yuuri barely hears the words, focused on Viktor’s lips as they form them. It takes a minute for his brain to catch up. “He took my drink!”

“Hm, well, maybe we should go to your room and get you something there,” Viktor says, with a look at Christophe.

“Okay, but Chris isn’t invited,” Yuuri says firmly.

They both laugh, but Yuuri doesn’t think they’re laughing at him. “No Chris then,” Viktor agrees, leading Yuuri out of the banquet room and suddenly they’re in the hallway. It’s quieter, not as stuffy, and it helps clear Yuuri’s head a bit, the cool air on his overheated body. Viktor’s arm stays firm around him as they half walk, half stumble to the elevator.

“You’re really pretty, you know,” Yuuri says when they’re safely going up to his floor. The alpha smell coming off of Viktor doesn't take long to permeate the small box and Yuuri tries to subtly breathe in as much as he can.

“Thank you, Yuuri. You’re very pretty too.”

Yuuri preens at the praise, omega brain pleased at a compliment from an alpha, for only a moment before frowning. The elevator stops and Viktor is helping him to his room when he says, “You didn’t even know who I was.”

“What?” Viktor looks away from the room numbers they’re passing, down to Yuuri. Their faces are close together and Yuuri realizes how very blue Viktor’s eyes really are. He’d wondered, for so long if it was just the effect of magazines or something, but, wow, they really are super blue.

“You didn’t know who I was, at the arena,” Yuuri says as they come to a stop at his room. Yuuri fumbles with the keycard, concentrating carefully to slide it in properly. The little light buzzes green and the lock clicks.

“Ah, yes, I am sorry-”

Yuuri surges up suddenly, pressing his lips sloppily to Viktor’s. “You didn’t know who I was, but I’ll make you remember me,” Yuuri breathes. “After tonight, you’ll never forget the name Katsuki Yuuri.”

Gripping Viktor’s tie, he tugs him into the room, Viktor protesting weakly the entire way. “Yuuri, you’re drunk, this isn’t-”

His finger doesn’t quite land on its mark, half off Viktor’s lip, as Yuuri makes a shushing noise. “No, no, it’s okay, I’m not- I’m okay.”

“Yuuri, I just watched you pole dance with Chris in front of everyone, something tells me that’s not something you would do sober,” Viktor says, hands grabbing Yuuri’s as he tries to unbutton Viktor’s shirt.

Yuuri looks up at Viktor through his lashes. “I'm not drunk. I'm not sober,” he adds when Viktor opens his mouth to argue, “but I'm not… not drunk.” The last part is said with a sigh as Yuuri drops his hands from Viktor’s and turns away. “Just go.”

“Yuuri-”

“Go, Viktor, go away.” The words are choked with a held back sob and Viktor’s resolve crumbles. The scent of an omega in distress kicks his alpha instincts in gear and he steps forward, placing a gentle hand on Yuuri’s shoulder.

“Yuuri, I didn't mean it like that. Consent is important and, even though you may think you want it now, you might regret it when you wake up in the morning,” Viktor tries to explain. “Drinking lowers your ability to make good decisions.”

Yuuri finally turns to look at him, eye red rimmed and pink lips wobbling with suppressed tears. “But I've wanted you forever. Nothing could change that.”

Viktor finds his hand cupping Yuuri’s cheek, thumb brushing away the lone tear that has escaped. “Yuuri…”

“Viktor…”

Their lips meet and Yuuri isn't sure who moved first, only that Viktor’s lips are soft against his, plush and firm and it's better than any of Yuuri’s wildest fantasies could have prepared him for. He presses his body against Viktor, his hands hesitant as he pushes them through the silver locks he's admired since he first saw Viktor, floating with such ease on a grainy television screen. Viktor inhales sharply through his nose when Yuuri gives a little tug, immediately pressing closer and wrapping his arms around Yuuri's waist. The smell of _alpha_ floods Yuuri's nose and he can't help the whine that builds at the back of his throat.

“Please,” he whispers, lips brushing against Viktor’s. “Please, I want you so much.” He grinds his hips forward and Viktor is gone, so far gone, pushing Yuuri against the nearest flat surface and pinning him there. Yuuri tightens his grip in Viktor’s hair and Viktor’s lips trail down his jaw, leaving little bites as he works his way to Yuuri’ scent gland. He takes a moment to linger there and it takes longer for Yuuri's hormone addled mind to realize that Viktor is scenting him. Carefully, like he's afraid Yuuri will deny him.

Like Yuuri would deny Viktor Nikiforov anything.

He tilts his neck more, soft and submissive, though the effect is slightly ruined by Yuuri dragging Viktor's head up from where it was pressing marks on the skin there back to where Yuuri really wants it. Viktor's sharp inhale isn't lost on Yuuri, but then his mind goes blissfully blank as Viktor mouths at it before biting down. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough that Yuuri's body goes soft and compliant, ass absolutely dripping with slick. Viktor growls, the vibrations making Yuuri shiver, his knees going weak and ass pumping out more slick. By the time Yuuri's mind clears enough to realize what's going on, Viktor has already divested Yuuri of the black briefs that are the only thing that survived his stripping contest with Chris after that last round of pole dancing. Viktor's shirt becomes a victim of Yuuri's need to see as much of Viktor naked as possible as he grabs the flaps held together by buttons and pulls, the soft plink of buttons scattering across the room lost as Viktor brings them back together.

Yuuri moans at the feel of skin-on-skin, the solid wall behind him, his thighs coated with slick. He brings one leg up, gasping at the feel of the fabric of Viktor's trousers along the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. Viktor doesn't seem to care that Yuuri is getting slick on them, tracing his hand up and under, fingers brushing along Yuuri's hole. He whimpers, more slick coming easily as Viktor presses one finger inside.

“Fuck, Yuuri, you're so wet,” Viktor pants, face buried in Yuuri's neck. Yuuri tightens around the finger, trying to work more of it inside and whining when it isn't enough. “Fuck-” A second finger is added, shortly followed by a third as Viktor bites and kisses his way over Yuuri's neck. “You're so needy, I've never seen an omega so wet outside of heat,” Viktor says, four fingers stuffed inside Yuuri and it's still not enough. Yuuri barely registers the words, begging for more.

“Please, Viktor, fuck me, please, I need it so bad,” Yuuri says, riding Viktor's fingers as best he can from this position.

“Are you su-”

Yuuri clamps his hand over Viktor's mouth, staring him straight in the eye. “If you don't put your cock in me, I will… will… never speak to you again,” Yuuri says. “Now _fuck me_.”

Viktor's eyes are wide, shock and amazement and lust all rolled into one, but he does as Yuuri commands, hooking his free hand around Yuuri's other thigh and, with a little effort, lifting Yuuri up. Yuuri sighs as the fingers press deeper into him, head thumping against the wall as he does his best to help Viktor lift him. There's a couple of seconds between Viktor removing his fingers and lining up his cock, leaving Yuuri whining, but when Viktor slides in, Yuuri moans, mouth dropping open at the overbearing fullness.

They stay there, suspended in the moment, each willing themselves to adjust. Viktor keeps a steady stream of words flowing, reminding Yuuri to breathe, telling him how beautiful he looks, his muscles trembling with the held back power that wants to desperately to drive into the body above him, to _taketaketake_ , alpha instincts in overdrive. Yuuri’s smell is intoxicating, filling the room slowly, but Viktor is as close as is possible for two humans to be and the smell surrounds him, invading his nostrils and clouding his brain. Yuuri lets out a shuddering breath and squeezes around Viktor’s cock. He takes that as a sign that Yuuri is ready and he slowly pulls out, the drag of Yuuri’s walls around him almost too much when combined with everything else.

“You feel so good,” Yuuri says, panting. His nails are digging into the meat of Viktor’s shoulder and the muscles of his core stand out as he uses them to take some of the weight off of Viktor.

“You feel amazing, you’re so beautiful, Yuuri Katsuki,” Viktor babbles back, hips snapping up. “I could stay inside you forever, fill you up until you couldn’t take any more, make you scream so that the whole building knows my name, knows that I did that to you.” Yuuri whines, high in the back of his throat, and his ass clenches around Viktor’s cock. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Maybe I should tie you down, fuck you over and over, hold you open with a plug so that you’d be ready any time I wanted you. You’d be so wet, so loose around my cock-”

Yuuri cries out, coming between them, but Viktor doesn’t stop, words flowing like a river from his mouth as he takes and takes and takes. They move from the wall to the bed after Yuuri’s second orgasm, Viktor laying him down gently before entering him again, slow and teasing. His kisses are sweet and heady to Yuuri’s fuzzy brain, lost in the sensation of the two of them moving together. He doesn’t come out of his dream-like state for another orgasm, eyes blinking open to find that he’s above Viktor, sinking down onto his cock, thighs burning with effort as he takes what he wants. The knot at the base of Viktor’s cock is starting to swell and Yuuri can feel it dragging against his rim; the thought of it inside of him, of being tied to Viktor, sends shivers down Yuuri's spine.

“Do you want it?” Viktor murmurs. “Do you want my knot buried in your pretty little hole, stretching you out, making you _mine_ -” The last word is growled out as Yuuri shoves his hips down for the last time, crying out as Viktor's knot is forced inside. Yuuri rocks his hips back and forth as Viktor comes, milking his cock while striving for his final release. It comes suddenly when Viktor sits up, capturing his lips in a soft, sweet kiss that is entirely contradictory to the act that preceded it. His cock jerks between them, adding one last bit of come to their sticky torsos.

“How could I ever forget you, Katsuki Yuuri,” Viktor breathes against his lips, and that's the last thing Yuuri remembers.

888

Returning to Detroit isn't fun. Yuuri's ass aches from the night before, his head isn't much better, and the worst part is, Viktor wasn't there when Yuuri woke up. The entire flight from Sochi had been filled with endless loops of _did he mean it, why would he leave, he doesn't care, why would he lie_ that Yuuri couldn't get to shut up. And, to make matters worse, he could feel heat building, low in his back. It wasn't unusual to have the symptoms when on suppressants, but it still felt like his body was betraying him. Sochi was, without a doubt, a terrible experience.

Phichit met him at the airport, hugging him tightly while Ciao Ciao pretended not to see the tears in Yuuri's eyes at the baggage claim. Their flight had gotten in late and, having not slept on the plane, he was exhausted. After they dropped their coach off at his own house, Phichit drove them straight back to their apartment. “I bought ice cream and loaded up a whole collection of American movies for us to binge on,” he told Yuuri as the car came to its final stop. “We're going to eat our feelings tonight and tomorrow will be better.”

He says it with such assurance that Yuuri feels happiness bubbling inside him for the first time since he received Mari’s dreadful phone call. Phichit grabs one of Yuuri's bags and they haul them up the staircase, abandoning them by the front door without a second thought. It's not until they're curled up on Yuuri's bed with hamsters happily crawling all over them and watching Mean Girls that Yuuri finally tells Phichit about what happened the night of the banquet. It makes him cry, of course, because his stupid hormones won't let him push down the strangling emotions, but Phichit holds him close, lets him cry into his sleep shirt, and doesn't say anything. Yuuri feels like an idiot for believing that someone as beautiful, as important and amazing as _Viktor Nikiforov_ , could really care about someone as plain and boring as Katsuki Yuuri.

“Yuuri, what's the rule for sleepovers?” Phichit says.

“No talking bad about myself,” Yuuri replies dutifully.

“Or?”

With a put-upon sigh that does little to hide his smile, Yuuri continues, “Or thinking bad about myself.”

“Good. Now eat some of that ice cream before you fall asleep.”

Yuuri laughs, taking an obnoxiously large bite that he immediately regrets and snuggling closer to his best friend. Tonight, he would wallow, but he would pick himself up tomorrow and prepare for Japanese Nationals, only two weeks away.

888

His hormones level out over the next few days and Yuuri gears up to return to his home country. The nerves have lingered since the failure at the GPF and they only get worse as he steps out to the roaring crowd.

He finishes in eleventh place. People ask if he's injured and he wishes desperately that was the case, but he doesn't lie to himself and he doesn't lie to the reporters. A broken heart isn't really an injury, after all.

888

He doesn't make it to Four Continents, much less the World Championships. He isn't surprised.

888

It's mid-February, in the middle of the spring semester, when Yuuri wakes up one morning with his stomach rolling. He hasn't felt great the past few days, stress over finishing his degree and failing so badly at skating. Exhaustion has pulled at his bones so much that he's skipped a few practices, much to Celestino's annoyance. This morning, all he can focus on is fighting down the nausea as he stumbles to their shared bathroom. He manages to use the toilet and wash his hands before it becomes too much and he's hovering over the toilet once again, though in a much different position.

It feels like everything he's eaten in the past week is making a comeback tour and he sits there miserably as his stomach twists itself in knots. A cold washcloth over the back of his neck startles him for a moment before a warm hand begins making circles on his back.

“You need to go, Phichit, I don't want you to get sick too,” Yuuri mumbles.

“Bros before… viruses or something like that. I'll be fine.”

It takes another ten minutes before Yuuri is finished and Phichit helps him back to his bed, promising to come back with some tums and ginger ale. Yuuri tries to protest, saying only one of them should miss class that day and he doesn't feel as bad now, but Phichit claims it's best friend duty and does it anyway. By lunchtime, Yuuri doesn't feel bad at all and waves it off as a twelve hour bug.

Until the next morning, when it happens again. After a week, a worried Phichit finally makes him go to the doctor.

“Phichit, I promise, I'm fine, this is a waste of time,” Yuuri says, voice hoarse and body dragging.

“I'll believe that when the doctor tells me,” Phichit says right back. “This isn't normal, Yuuri.”

“Phichit-”

“Katsuki Yuuri, if you don't go into the building right now, I will throw you over my shoulder and march you in myself.”

Yuuri stares at his friend and, for the first time, truly realizes how worried Phichit is. “You're too short.”

Phichit throws his hands up in exasperation. “Really! You had to go there!”

“Come on, let's get this over with so you can see that I'm _fine_ and we can go home and watch a movie.” Yuuri walks into the urgent care clinic, signing himself in while Phichit looks for two empty chairs. The room is filled with several people and there aren't two chairs next to each other, so Yuuri walks over to Phichit and sits in his lap.

“There's an empty seat over there,” snarks a beta next to them, glaring at the two omegas.

Yuuri blinks at her before curling up more in Phichit’s lap. “But then I'd be away from my boyfriend and I love him too much for that,” Yuuri says sweetly.

“Aw, babe, you're so cute,” Phichit says, carding his fingers through Yuuri's hair. “She's just jealous she could never have someone as amazing as you.”

“How dare-”

“Yuuri Katsuki!”

Snickering at the irate look on the beta’s face, the two of them follow the nurse to the back. Yuuri's down nine pounds from the last time he weighed himself and the look Phichit gives him says ‘I told you so’ in the most loudly unspoken words. They're led to a room in the back where Yuuri's vitals are taken and the nurse asks a bunch of questions that Yuuri half answers and Phichit finishes, knowing that Yuuri won't say all that he needs to. Then they wait. Phichit scrolls instagram, Yuuri refuses to let him post a picture of him sitting on the uncomfortable table, for obvious reasons. After a few minutes, the nurse comes back in and asks Yuuri for an urine sample, causing Phichit to give him a worried look as Yuuri follows the nurse out.

“Is there something wrong?” he asks nervously. The reassuring smile the nurse gives him does nothing to quell the feeling.

“No, just routine procedure. Leave the cup here,” she indicates a small metal door above the toilet, “and then you can go back to the room.” She closes the door behind her and is still out there when Yuuri opens the door after washing his hands.

“What's wrong?” Phichit asks immediately when he enters the room.

“She said it was routine,” Yuuri says with a shrug.

Phichit still looks worried, but before he can say anything else, there's a knock on the door and the doctor comes in. He's an older omega, with a round stomach and greying hair. “Hello, Mr. Katsuki, I'm Doctor Peale, how are we feeling today?” he asks as he shakes first Yuuri's hand and then Phichit’s.

“Better than I have been, Phichit is just paranoid,” Yuuri tells him.

Dr. Peale nods as he flips through some papers in his hand. “You're here because you've been throwing up for the past week, correct?”

“Yes, sir, but only once a day, I'm usually okay other than that.”

“When was your last heat, Mr. Katsuki?”

“Oh, ah, I'm a competitive figure skater, I'm on suppressants, so I don't have a regular cycle. Um, I think I had one in early August?” Yuuri gives a half shrug; he tries to get them out before all of the series events start, waiting until the last minute, but he rarely can remember actual days.

“And are you on birth control?”

Yuuri’s cheeks burn as he replies, “Ah, no, I had a bad reaction and my regular doctor and I agreed to wait until after the season ended to try again.”

“I see. And were you on something before?”

“No, there was never any need for me to be on it; I only tried it out because my doctor suggested it might help with cramps. I figured the suppressants would be enough. I mean, you can’t get pregnant outside of a heat, right?” Yuuri laughs nervously.

“Mr. Katsuki-” A knock interrupts whatever he was about to say and a nurse steps in, handing the doctor a sheet of paper, which he takes with a thanks. He reads over whatever is on it before looking up at Yuuri. “I have your test results back, Mr. Katsuki. Would you like your partner to be in here for the results?”

“He’s not my-”

“Whoa, we’re not-”

“Ah, a friend. This is sensitive information, Mr. Katsuki. He can stay if you want him to.” The doctor doesn’t look gravely serious, no more so than he has the whole time, but Phichit reaches up to grab Yuuri’s hand anyway.

“Do you want me to stay?” he asks quietly, standing when Yuuri nods quickly, mouth pressed in a thin line.

They both look at the doctor, who hands Yuuri the paper the nurse had given him. “Congratulations, Mr. Katsuki, you’re pregnant.”

_Pregnant._

The word rings loudly in the room. Yuuri is sure he’s crushing Phichit’s hand, but the word, _that word_ , is bouncing around in his head, filling every space.

_Pregnant._

Dr. Peale is talking and Yuuri tries to listen, but all he can hear is the steady train of thought _I’m pregnant how could this happen it’s Viktor’s how how how pregnant pregnant Viktor’s child I’m on suppressants this shouldn’t be real this isn’t real I have to be dreaming howhowhowhow_

“Mr. Katsuki?”

Yuuri jumps, looking up. “Yes, sir?”

“Do you have any questions?”

“N-no, sir. Thank you.”

“Come on, Yuuri,” Phichit says gently, hand on his elbow. Yuuri follows automatically, head swimming as he pays the receptionist and accepts the papers she hands him. The walk back to their apartment goes by in a haze and Yuuri suddenly finds himself curled up on his bed with no memory of how he got there.

“Yuuri?” Phichit kneels down beside him, tenderly brushing his bangs back from his face. “What do you need?”

“Phichit-” The word comes out soft and broken and all he can manages before he breaks down in tears. Phichit doesn't hesitate, crawling into bed with him and pulling him close. He holds onto Yuuri, letting him sob into his tee, his grip on Phichit tight almost to the point of pain, but Phichit doesn't move, doesn't let go, until Yuuri is asleep. Phichit had noticed that Yuuri had tired more easily lately, but had chalked it up to stress and looming midterms. Being sick every morning didn't help either, he was sure. Now, Phichit realizes it’s probably because of the b-

He can’t even think it.

Phichit knows his friend, knows how dedicated Yuuri always has been to skating, and he’ll bet good money that Yuuri hates himself right now, blames himself, even though the suppressants should have been enough. If you don’t go into heat, you can’t get pregnant, right?

He looks at Yuuri’s stomach, still flat, even thinner than usual. Right.

It takes some maneuvering, but he gets Yuuri laid down on the bed, replacing his body with one of his own pillows, so Yuuri at least has the scent. Then Phichit goes to the kitchen and starts making miso soup and rice, just the way Yuuri has shown him.  
  
888

Yuuri lives in a state of denial for the week and a half it takes for him to get an appointment with his omegaologist. He tells himself that there was a mistake, a mix-up, there’s no way he could be pregnant. He doesn’t stop telling himself until Dr. James is pressing a monitor against his abdomen and a gentle whooshing sound fills the room.

“There’s your baby’s heartbeat,” the doctor tells him.

If they think Yuuri is crying from happiness, he says nothing to stop them. It’s all too real, with that noise. There’s no longer any chance he can deny what’s happening. He makes a follow up appointment, a couple of months down the road, and heads back to the apartment. It’s quiet when he walks inside, because Phichit is still at practice; Celestino refused to let both of them have the afternoon off. He’s gone easy on Yuuri the past several practices, sensing something was off.

 _Guess he won’t have to worry about me for much longer_ , Yuuri muses dryly. The thought hurts, the fact that he will have to quit skating, a dull ache deep in his chest. Yuuri runs a hand over his stomach, still flat, thinner than it probably ever has been before. His eyes itch with the need to cry, but he can’t seem to make himself let the tears gather. He feels suspended, stretched thin with anxiety and fear, yet unable to snap. He’s cried so much in the past week, he would be surprised if he was still capable to doing it.

He curls up in his bed, staring at a poster of Viktor. They’re all over the room. Once a reminder of what he was striving for, to share the ice with his idol, they now taunt him with fact that he has a reminder inside of him, growing a little more each day. He could get an abortion, he’d be able to keep competing, but the mere thought leaves a sour taste in his brain. He’s very much pro-choice, but that’s not a choice he’d ever think he’d make.

Phichit says nothing when he gets home, crawling into Yuuri’s bed and wrapping around him like an octopus. “What are you going to do?” Phichit asks after several minutes of silent cuddling.

“I’m going to have a baby.”


	2. A Step Away And An Opportunity

Celestino takes the news harder than Yuuri expects, clearly upset about losing someone he claims is his best student, but there’s nothing Yuuri can do about that. He works hard to finish his degree and spends plenty of time on the ice when he needs to clear his head, unable to fight against the call of the ice the way he had when first returning from Sochi. Phichit never lets him go alone, even with Yuuri promising not to do any jumps, but where someone else might make Yuuri feel awkward, with Phichit it’s only ever comforting. As he’s wrapping up his finals, Yuuri starts to think about what he’s going to do after. There’s no way he will compete, not this year.

He could go home, back to Japan and the onsen. He told his parents a few days after he heard the heartbeat, unwilling to hide it from them. They had taken the news surprisingly well, considering Yuuri was unbonded and unwed. But if he went home, would he be giving up his chance to come back after the baby was born? He still had a few years left in him; not many, but a few. There was always a chance. Or should he go with what he had already considered after bombing so badly at the GPF and just retire altogether? And what about Phichit? The other boy had been there for Yuuri the whole time they had trained together, had stuck by him every time he cried himself to sleep, had held his hand at the doctor’s office when he had found out that he was pregnant. Yuuri wasn’t sure if he could leave his best friend, but staying at the school was out of the question as well. Not competing means no athletic scholarship and Yuuri can’t afford tuition.

He brings up the question to Phichit, who hugs him and tells him he’ll support him no matter what. Yuuri whacks him with a pillow and tells him he’s no help.

In the end, Yuuri walks away with a degree in business management and gets on a plane to Japan. If nothing else, he wants to have his child in his home country, surrounded by family. And if the father isn’t there, well… that’s no one’s business but his own.

888

“Are you ever going to tell him?” Mari says, one day in late July. They’re walking through the streets of Hasetsu. Well, Mari is walking. Yuuri waddles, his belly swollen. He’s done his best to stay in shape, but there’s no keeping it hidden. He’s only got a month and a half left before the baby comes and she uses every moment she can to practice her spins before she joins the real world.

She, because at his first appointment back in Japan, they were able to see her. Phichit had flown out with him, since it was off season and school was done for a few weeks before summer classes began. His family had come too, everyone crowded around the little screen as the sonographer showed them his child. She was so small then, and seeing her for the first time is when it really hit Yuuri. The heartbeat had been a kick in the face, the moment when he could no longer deny the truth, but watching her move on the little screen is when Yuuri fell in love with her. Her little fingers and toes, long legs stretching while she still had space.

Now, the flutters of her kicks are stronger and often, he can see those tiny feet as they press against him, stomach rippling with movement.

“Tell who what?” Yuuri says, playing dumb.

“Tell the father about the baby.” The look Mari shoots him in not impressed.

He still hasn’t told anyone who the father is, save for Phichit. “No, probably not. He’s, ah, a busy person.” And probably doesn’t remember the desperate omega who drunkenly climbed all over him after a random banquet. He certainly didn’t remember Yuuri after competing with him; how would sex change anything?

“Too busy to know that he has a child on the way?” Mari raises an eyebrow and, somehow, manages to look even less impressed than before.

“Yes.”

“Yuuri-”

“Mari, I’m not going to tell him.”

Mari sighs, but thankfully doesn’t press the issue. Instead, they wander down to the ocean and she helps him sit on the low wall. The only thing missing is Vicchan bouncing around in the sand, but watching the sun set low on the horizon is still nice, the quiet broken only by the crashing waves.

“Have you thought of a name?”

The question is out of nowhere, but Yuuri doesn’t hesitate to tell her. “Mieko.”

“Katsuki Mieko,” Mari says thoughtfully. “I like it.” Several minutes of silence pass before she adds, “I’m surprised you didn’t name her zamboni or something.”

Yuuri fake-growls, nudging Mari with his shoulder roughly. They get into a playful shove match before Yuuri gasps, hands coming up to his stomach. Mari freezes until he grabs her, pushing her hand to a spot. They wait for a moment before there’s a thump against her palm. While the thought of actually having children herself is gross to Mari, she's very excited for her brother. Even if he is being stubborn about the father.

“You're going to make a great aunt, you know,” Yuuri says.

Mari looks at her brother and smiles; she's going to spoil her niece rotten. “Come on, you sap, let's get you home before Mom starts worrying.”

As they make their way back to the onsen, Yuuri’s phone pings with an email alert. He glances at it, noting that it’s from Celestino. He wonders what it’s about, but doesn’t bother opening it until later, when he’s lying in bed trying to fall asleep. The baby is swiftly getting bigger and it’s sometimes hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in; add that to his persistent insomnia and the combination leads to long nights of little rest. He casually flips through his messages, replying to the few friends he’s kept in contact with. He left America before he started showing and everyone in Hasetsu has kept quiet about his condition, so the world only knows that he’s not coming back next season. Most have speculated his retirement, and Yuuri’s sure that they’re right. It won’t be easy to come back after a season, especially since that season off will be spent growing a human inside himself and then taking care of it.

Yuuri doesn’t want to leave skating behind, not so soon, not after all the sweat, blood, and tears that he’s poured into it, and as he reads the email Celestino sent him, he realizes that he might not have to.

 _Yuuri,_  
  
I hope this letter finds you and the baby in good health. Phichit has kept me updated on you, though nothing more than the basics, so please do not feel as though he’s broken your trust. I wasn’t lying when I said you were my best student, and that is why I have decided to extend this offer to you.

_Would you be willing to come back as my assistant coach? I find that I am in need of one and when I think back to all of the help you’ve given to others in the skating club over the past five years, I can think of no one who would be a better fit. Everyone knows you and feels comfortable with you in a way that would take longer for an outsider to develop. It would greatly benefit everyone, you and myself included. I’ve sent along a contract for you to read over, if you are interested. If you’re not, there will be no hard feelings and you will still be welcome back with open arms, should you ever wish to rejoin us here in Detroit._

_If you are worried about the baby, I will be more than happy to accommodate you in the regard as well. I know you said that you wanted to have it in your home country, but the season has only just kicked off and there will be plenty of time for you to join us if you decide to. You are due 3rd September, correct? You would have plenty of time to recover and join us before the Grand Prix Series begins. Several members of the skate club are aiming to qualify and I know you could help them, but do not feel pressured to come if you wish to stay in Japan._

_Everyone says hi and sends their regards._

_Respectfully,_

_Ciao Ciao_

Yuuri can’t help but smile at the signature; Ciao Ciao usually hates the nickname Phichit gave him and Yuuri is sure he only sent it because he knew it would help Yuuri know that there would be no hard feelings.

The opportunity is a good one, though. It would give him an income, for one thing, but he would be back with his best friend and near the ice again. The only problem would be the baby. Would he be able to deal with the fallout once the media saw him carrying around a child? Not only that, but there was no telling what Mieko would look like; if she took after Viktor, it wouldn’t be hard for people to figure out and he has no idea what Viktor would even say. At this point in his career, did he even want to be saddled with a child? Yuuri couldn’t imagine not having his baby now, not after carrying her and hearing her heartbeat, seeing her move on the screen.

There are so many questions swirling in his brain and Mieko moves restlessly within him, as though she can tell there was something troubling him. Giving up on sleep for the time being, Yuuri slips on his trainers, glad he’s able to still do so at this point, and grabs his bag before slipping back out into the night. It’s humid out, so late in the summer, and he almost immediately starts sweating. He regrets that he can’t run right now, but sets out at a brisk walk, heading straight for Ice Castle.  
  
Yuuko is waiting for him there, like she always is. Yuuri sometimes wonders if she put a tracker on him at some point, slipped it into a shoe or something, but he thinks she just knows him pretty well by now. After all, what better way to get through a hot night than with some cool ice?

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks lightly, teasing.

“Never can on a night like this.” She pushes the door open for him, following behind and flicking on a couple of lights. “Need me to help you tie up your skates?”

Blushing, Yuuri nods. He hates this feeling, like he’s being pandered to, but he’d rather his skates be tied properly and tightly than risk falling because they’re not. Yuuko beams at him, immediately dropping down in front of him to lace him up once he settles on a bench. In no time, they’re on the ice together. Yuuko doesn’t move too far from him, close enough to catch him if he loses his balance, but far enough to give him the freedom he desires. They talk about mundane things while making slow laps on the ice. Finally, as he’s beginning to tire, Yuuri tells Yuuko about the email.

“You’re going to do it, right?” she asks as they skate towards the exit on their last lap.

“Do you think I should?”

“Of course! This is a great opportunity for you, Yuuri! I mean, I was going to offer you an instructor position here after the baby was born, but this is better, I think.”

Yuuri stays quiet as he unties his skates, making sure the guards are on properly before putting them in his bag. “I do miss America more than I thought I would,” he finally says as they leave the Ice Castle.

Yuuko says nothing, just walks down the steps with him. Once they reach the bottom, where they’ll go in different directions to their respective homes, she stops him with a gentle hand on his arm. “You know everyone will support you no matter what. But Yuuri…” She pauses, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth for a moment, eyes flicking between his, before continuing, “Yuuri, you were made for so much more than this little town of ours. You belong out there, seeing the world, skating your way to the top where you deserve to be. I think you should take Celestino’s offer. Stay here until the baby is born and then go back out there into the world.

“Yes, the media is probably going to freak out when you show up with a baby, but you don’t have to say anything to them about it; keep in mind that it’s your own business and none of theirs. They have no right to know who the father is, not any more so than anyone else. You belong on the ice, Yuuri, and you shouldn’t let your fear keep you from it. Whether it’s here or in Detroit, you should go for it.”

Yuuri lets out a shuddering breath before he says, “It’s Viktor.”

Yuuko blinks at him. “What?”

“The father. It’s Viktor.”

“VIKTOR NIKIFOROV?”

Yuuri quickly shushes her, eyes darting around, even though it’s very late and the streets are very obviously clear of people. “Yes, Viktor Nikiforov, please be quiet!”

“Like, _the Viktor Nikiforov?"_  
  
“Yes, that one.” Yuuri grits his teeth, almost regretting telling Yuuko. She’s his oldest friend, but he forgot how much of a fangirl she truly is. Even with the street deserted, he’s still worried someone will find out.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just- oh my god, wow- it’s like all of our pubescent dreams came true for you or something! How-” She catches the look on his face and her mouth clamps shut.

Yuuri sighs, but tells her an abbreviated version of the events that led up to his… condition. She’s shocked, to say the least, but wraps him in a comforting hug in the end.

“So he has no idea?”

“No. And he won’t, if I have my way. This was all my fault, he shouldn’t be burdened with it too.”

“Burden?” Now Yuuko gives him a look that could shatter a diamond. “You think your child is a burden?”

“No, no, no! Not at all!” Yuuri waves his hands wildly in front of him, as if they could defend him from her glare. “But I don’t know if _he_ would think that! It’s- I was the one who wasn’t pay attention to my cycle and I wasn’t on birth control. This is my fault and I don’t want him to, I don’t know, feel forced to be with me? Or a part of Mieko’s life, if he doesn’t want kids.”

Yuuko’s glare drops down a few notches, but she’s still looking at him like he’s the world’s biggest idiot. And maybe he is, but he’s also not going to force Viktor into this. “Yuuri.”

“I’ll worry about it _if_ it comes to that,” he says. “Goodnight, Yuuko-chan.”

“Goodnight, Yuu-chan.”

The walk home seems to take even longer than the walk there, in no small part due to to a group of alphas that smell like they're stumbling home from a bar. A couple of them catcall him, another going so far as to swear at him when he doesn’t reply, but Yuuri keeps his head down and hurries on, phone clutched in his hand, ready to call the police at the slightest hint they aren’t going to leave him alone. He makes it home safely, not breathing until the lock clicks into place. Wearily, he slips off his shoes and heads to his room. Mieko rolls one last time before settling as Yuuri props a pillow under his stomach, finally tired enough to sleep.

888

Over the next couple of days, he contemplates his future. Yuuri shoots off an email to Celestino, telling him he needs a few days to look over the contract before he makes a decision; Celestino tells him to take his time. He researches, because that’s what Yuuri does when he’s faced with an unknown. He’s already done more than enough when it comes to learning about the changes his body will go through and what to expect for the first year; those avenues were exhausted within two weeks. Now, he looks for information about traveling with an infant, places to live that are more child-friendly in Detroit, daycare options. He stays up late into the night and regrets it the next day, but looks and looks and looks, balancing his options here in Japan versus America.

Yuuri starts with his parents first, tracking them down after the dinner rush is done and sitting them down in the mostly-empty dining room. He outlines everything, from moving back to America, to the contract, and asks for their opinion. After all, he’ll be taking their granddaughter with him and, with all of the support they’ve given him over the years, Yuuri thinks they at least deserve to have a say. _Okasaan_ is understandably upset, but they both tell him that it’s his decision and that they will continue to support him no matter what he chooses.

“Besides,” Hiroko says, smile wobbly but still there, “going to visit you and Mieko in America will give me a chance to practice my English, for all the foreign visitors that will be coming when my Yuuri wins all of the metals.” Yuuri laughs, brushing the wet from his cheeks as he leans over the table to pull her into a hug, Toshiyo joins them, wrapping his arms around both as they have a cry.

Mari is next. Even though she’s never understood him, just like their parents, Mari has always been his biggest supporter and, secretly, his number one fan. She thinks he doesn’t know about all of his fan merchandise that she has squirreled away and, as embarrassing as it is that he has _fan merchandise_ , he’s also well aware of the collection.

“So, you’re going back, huh?” she asks when he seeks her out. He feels emotionally rung out after talking to their parents, but also strangely light. He settles next to her on the patio, sinking down with as much grace as his stomach will allow.

“I’m not sure yet, but it’s possible.” Of course Mari knows.

Silence falls around them, as easy as it’s ever been. Mari snuffs out her cigarette when the wind stops blowing it away from Yuuri and they both lean back, staring at the stars. It’s so reminiscent of their childhood that Yuuri feels a smile tugging at his lips. It’s nice to know that even with everything going on, something so small as this can bring joy.

“You know how they treat pregnant omegas that aren’t mated. Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

Yuuri shrugs. “It’s a little more open in America than in Japan. I still plan on having her here, and they don’t really recommend traveling with an infant before four months, at the earliest, so it’s not like we would leave immediately.”

“Sounds like you’ve already made your decision, then, _ototo_.”

“No, I haven’t, just looked into all of my options.”

It’s quiet again, but the scent of worry fills the air now. Mari moves as though to grab her cigarettes, before glancing sideways at him and stopping. After a long few minutes, she stands, offering her hand to Yuuri and helping to pull him up. “I just want what’s best for you.”

The hug is brief, because Mari doesn’t do emotions well, but the meaning is clear and the love is felt. “I know. _Arigato, Neechan_.”

They head inside, out of the sticky night air, and part ways to their respective bedrooms. It’s not going to be easy, they all know it, but with his family at his back, Yuuri feels like he can do anything.

888

The last person Yuuri talks to about it is the one he’s most worried about. Not because he thinks it will go badly, but because he doesn’t want to get his hopes up.

“ _Sawasdee Krab_ , Phichit?” Yuuri says, waving at the camera.

Phichit laughs, eyes crinkling as he enthusiastically waves back. “ _Hola, como estas_ , Yuuri!”

“Uh…” Yuuri blinks, unsure of what he just heard. That definitely wasn’t Japanese, Thai, or English.

“It’s Spanish! Leo, do you remember him, Leo de la Iglesia? He’s teaching me some Spanish; that means ‘hello, how are you’ apparently. He says my accent butchers it, but I told him the same thing about Thai, so it’s fair.”

“That sounds about right,” Yuuri says, letting out a snort and shaking his head. “How are your programs coming along?”

“They’re going great! Ciao Ciao and I are still working on the quad loop, but I’m landing it often enough that he says that I’ll be able to add it to my roster by the time the GPF comes around.”

“Wow, Phichit, that’s so great!”

They spend the next several minutes going over Phichit’s program; he’s finally skating to songs from his favorite movie series _The King and The Skater_ , and Yuuri couldn’t be happier for him. He’s wanted to skate to _Shall We Skate?_ since he first saw the movie and it’s a big deal. Finally, after catching up on everything Yuuri’s missed since they talked last week, Phichit cuts to the chase, leveling a look at him.

“So, what are you hiding from me? Is the baby okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, everything’s fine, she’s good. A little small, they said, but healthy, no complications. My health is fine, too,” he adds when Phichit opens his mouth.

Phichit laughs, running his hand over the back of his head. “Yeah, yeah, okay, I know I’m being a mother hen. But you do want to tell me something. I’m your bestie, Yuuri, I can tell these things.”

Yuuri doesn’t say anything for a long minute; he isn’t sure how to approach it, so he just let’s it all out at once. “I got an email from Celestino the other day.”

“What about?” Phichit’s eyes are wide with concern and trepidation.

“Don’t worry, I’m not mad that you’ve kept him updated about me. I know it was only out of love.” Yuuri smirks as Phichit visibly relaxes in front of him, like a balloon deflating.

“Okay, good, because I swear I didn’t tell him anything more than that you were both safe and healthy and all that, no details at all, it’s just that he was really worried about you and he knows it’s not easy being a pregnant and unmated omega, at least as much as a beta can know about things like that, but I couldn’t let him go on worrying and I’m sorry, Yuuri, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I swear.”

Yuuri laughs for the first time in longer than he can remember. The past year has been fraught with stress, first from the intensive training to qualify and make it to the Grand Prix Final, the the downhill slide that came after. It feels good and Yuuri decides to make it a point to laugh at something at least once a day from now on as some sort of catharsis. “Phichit, it's okay. I should have been the one to keep him updated, but I just…” Yuuri sighs, running a hand over his face. “I hate that I let him down.”

“Yuuri, you have to know that he isn't mad and he doesn't hold it against you.”

“It's funny that you should say that…” He outlines everything everything Celestino sent him, then tells him about talking to his family.

“So are you going to take the deal?” Phichit asks, voice pitched high with excitement.

“Well, I'm definitely considering it, but I know I won’t be able to make out there until after the Grand Prix Final this year. I did some research before talking to my family and they don't recommend flying with an infant until they're at least four months; two only if you're desperate. I still want Mieko to be born in Japan and they say that male omegas usually go earlier than women and I don't want to be in America and accidentally go into labor. So if I do decide to take the offer, it won't be until either halfway through the season or the start of the next one.”

The question of if Yuuri will return to competition next year hangs between them as Phichit takes in everything. Yuuri can see him mentally weighing his pros and cons, the same way he himself had. Yuuri is pretty sure he knows what he wants, but he also wants to know what Phichit thinks.

“We’re going to need a bigger apartment,” he finally says, smiling slightly at Yuuri, who laughs as tears begin to fall.

888

_Dear Coach Cialdini,_

_Thank you for allowing me extra time to consider your offer. After much consideration, I am afraid I must turn it down, as I wish to have my child in my home country and therefore will not be recovered enough until halfway through the season. Please know that it is with a heavy heart that I write this, as you have beyond generous throughout my entire career. Thank you for all that you have done._

_Kindest regards to you and the skate club,_

_Katsuki Yuuri_

888

_Yuuri,_

_The offer remains, even if you join us halfway through the season. Your insight is invaluable with our skate club. Please reconsider joining us. There would be plenty of help with the baby and you would be free to practice whenever you can. I know you will want to come back and I know you can do it if you have the right support system, which I believe we can give you here. Join us at NKH Trophy and see if this is something you want and if not, then I will not ask you again. I'll pay for your ticket to Sapporo if you wish._

_Ciao Ciao_

888

_Coach,_

_Barring in complications, I will see you in Sapporo._

_Thank you,_

_Katsuki Yuuri_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the train to Cardiff now, going to pull into the station soon. Please let me know if there are any mistakes because half of this chapter was either written on two hours of sleep, or on a moving train. All of the editing was also done on a train using an iPad mini, so I can only hope it turns out okay.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading and commenting and sending kudos!


	3. Mieko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first, please be warned that there is talk about breastfeeding. These are my opinions and I did some research on breastfeeding in Japan, but if you don't like it, well, oh well.
> 
> Also, I should go ahead and mention, since someone commented on this last chapter (please don't take this meanly, JustANote):
> 
> I am a mother. I had a C-section with my kid and I breastfed him for almost a year, so this isn't going to be "oh, I had a C-section and am back on the ice in a week" kind of deal. This is based off of my experience when I had my son, because that's the only one I know of, plus what little research I needed to do. Healing time sucks after having a kid, okay? It ain't easy no matter which way you have them. Some things, you might have to suspend a little belief on if you're very knowledgeable about these sort of things, but I'm chalking that up to the fact that this is an AU.

Yuuri's not really sure how it happened. He hadn't been anywhere near the baths, but walking through the dining room, he slipped on some water and fell. Several people rushed to help him and, other than some mild pain from the fall and major embarrassment, he had felt okay, all the way up to going to the toilet. It was there that he found the spotting. Okasaan had been worried, telling him it wasn't normal, and had insisted on taking him to the hospital.

And now here he is, being prepped for an emergency cesarean section. The hospital had monitored him for a couple of hours, worrying that Mieko’s heart rate was low and she wasn't moving much. There was another month to go in his pregnancy, but it appeared he was going to meet his daughter sooner rather than later. Yuuri was terrified and all of a sudden, he desperately wished Viktor was here with him, holding his hand and soothing his fears. It was weird, Yuuri thought, because they hadn't even bonded or anything that would normally cause such intense feelings. But _Okasaan_ is there, holding his hand as they move him to the operating room. She's left at the door, though, calling after him that she'll be there soon. Tears build, burning the back of Yuuri's eyes as he's left alone with a bunch of strangers. His omega instincts push against having his baby around so many strangers instead of safely in the nest he built, to be safe and warm and surrounded by comforting smells and objects, not in the bright, sterile place, with no one but unknown people near him and his baby.

He lets out a whimper that has the nurse fluttering around him, but it isn't until he flinches back from her touch that she realizes what the issue is and she calls for Yuuri's mother as soon as possible. Once _Okaasan_ is with him, her comforting scent surrounds him as easily as her arms do.

“I'm scared,” he whispers into the curve of her neck.

“Can I tell you a secret, Yuu-chan? Every one is, especially with the first pup. Even if they're mated, it's terrifying. But you will always have us with you, and Mieko.”

“But what if-”

“Your pup will be born safe.” The words are firm and go far in soothing Yuuri's worries. He allows the nurse near him again and she and the anesthesiologist get him prepped and numbed for the surgery. The first needle shoots pain down his spine, his left leg kicking out spastically. The nurse talks to him as they work, a stream of words meant to distract, but while the pain is gone for the time being, the memory and fear linger as the anesthesiologist tells him they're going to try a different way. It doesn't feel good, of course, but it doesn't hurt the way the first shot did. Soon, he's laid down, his mother clutching his hand as the nurses bustle around and his doctor comes in.

“Are you ready to meet your little one?” the doctor asks, eyes smiling over her mask.

“ _Hai_ ,” Yuuri says, his voice hoarse. _Okaasan_ squeezes his hand reassuringly as they get to work.

The ceiling is blurry above him, his glasses waiting for him in his recovery room, as his nerves steadily build as the medical team does their work. Their voices are a low murmur around him as he turns his head to look at _Okaasan_. Her smile is probably meant to reassure, but Yuuri can feel the numbness, once concentrated below his chest, now spreading up, creeping towards his head.

“I can't breathe,” he gasps, feeling like he's choking, unable to pull in oxygen.

“It's just the medicine, your oxygen levels are good,” someone above his head says, but they're lying, Yuuri _can't breathe_ , and his nerves, already stressed, rocket up.

“He's going to have to calm down or we’re going to have to sedate him,” the voice says. _Okaasan_ starts telling him about the day he was born, chattering to distract him while the dose is lowered slightly and the feeling begins to come back to his face.

“It's a girl!” Yuuri squeezes his mother's hand as tears begin to fall. He can't really move, but he keeps his face trained on the side where the doctor is and there she is, a tiny bundle of blurry purple that lets out one hell of a wail. He's not sure who's squeezing harder at this point, him or his mother, as he tracks the nurses movements. His instincts are screaming to take his child and cuddle her to his chest, but the medicine is still in full effect and he knows she needs to be checked out, being born early.

After they finish with her and while he's being put back together, they bring his baby over to him, holding her next to his face. “Hi, Mieko,” Yuuri murmurs, rubbing his tear stained cheek against her. “I love you.”

The moment is all too short; she needs to be placed in an incubator for a bit, they tell him. When he protested, he's assured that by the time the drugs have worn off, he'll have his baby back in his arms. Not trusting his baby alone with strangers, he insists Hiriko go with her. He feels wobbly from the drugs and he'd rather have her stay with Mieko for as long as they'll let her.

The next… well, Yuuri isn't exactly sure how long, the drugs have definitely left him groggy, but it's over an hour; the blurry lines of the clock on the wall opposite of him tell him that much. It's long enough that he remembers asking the nurses several times where his baby is. They don't really give him an answer other than a generic “soon” that just annoys him, but after awhile, his head feels clearer and _Okaasan_ is there with his glasses.

“Mieko?” he asks, desperate for any news of his daughter.

“She's almost ready to be brought out,” Hiriko says. “Yuuri, she's perfect; I'd forgotten how tiny babies were.” She laughs wetly as she brushes Yuuri's bangs back from his face. “Wait until you see her, she looks so much like you. Well, some of her.”  
  
Yuuri's blood freezes. “What-” his question hangs in the air as a couple of nurses come in and he's wheeled into his recovery room. After they get him settled, a bassinet is wheeled in and Mieko is placed in his arms for the first time.

She's beautiful, tiny and perfect, almost a carbon copy of Yuuri, save for the platinum blonde tuffs he spies when he lifts up the tiny cap on top of her head. The color is rare and it will probably be easy for most people to at least speculate her heritage, but at that moment, Yuuri can't even bring himself to care. She yawns, blinking open bright blue eyes that remind him so much of Viktor that his heart aches for a moment. He wonders how long it will take for the rumors to start; what will Viktor says if he finds out?  
  
Yuuri pushes the thoughts from his mind and focuses on his perfect little child. Her head turns as he strokes over her plump cheek, mouth seeking something.

“She's probably hungry,” Hiriko prompts and Yuuri nods; of course, that makes sense. He tugs down the side of his gown and, with only a bit of direction from his mother, manages to get Mieko latched. It's an odd sensation, but he can feel the bond between them growing as he watches his daughter get her fill.

Later that night, when he's alone, holding her in his arms, Yuuri whispers his love to her, over and over, and promises to do everything he can to give her the best life.

888

Phichit coos through the screen, babbling nonsense at Mieko, who doesn't seem to care, curling up against Yuuri's chest and mouthing. Half the time, she doesn't even seem to be actually feeding and Yuuri is tempted to get her a pacifier, but he also enjoys every bit of time he get with Mieko.

“So how are you feeling?” Phichit asks when it becomes obvious that he's going to be ignored by the five day old.

“Not too bad. All of the internet forums suggested that as soon as you're able to, start walking around, so once I got the okay, I started moving. The doctor says the incision looks like it's healing well, too. I'm off the ice for at least four to six weeks, though. I don't even know how long it will be before I can try jumps again.” Yuuri laughs, but it's dry and Phichit frowns.

“Are you okay?”

Yuuri shrugs, looking away. “Just tired, I guess.”

“Yuuri-”

“I'm going to tell them at my check up in a couple of days,” Yuuri cuts in. “With my history- I know this might not be normal, okay? I promise, I had already decided that I was going to talk to someone.”

“I just worry about you. I wish I could come visit, but the season is starting and I can't get the time off. Ciao Ciao thinks I have a good chance to make it to the Grand Prix Final this year.”

“Of course you will, your routines are amazing.”

“He also told me that you weren't going to take the job, but he convinced you to go to the NHK Trophy to see if it would change your mind.”

Yuuri laughs again and Phichit is relieved that it sounds more genuine. “Yeah, we'll be there.”

Phichit lets out a squeal of excitement that has Mieko stirring in Yuuri's arms. “You're bringing my goddaughter with you?!”

“Of course I am,” Yuuri says with a roll of his eyes. “She'll still be nursing and it will be good to see how she does around a rink crowd, even if it's just during the practice when there's not many people.”

“Yeah, that probably a good idea. Plus, Viktor isn't competing, so you won't have to see him. It's going to be obvious to him when he sees her, you know.”

Yuuri makes a face at the screen. “She doesn't look that much like him, you know.”

The eyebrow Phichit raises at him is full of judgement.

“Okay, so the hair is a bit of a giveaway, but really, I doubt he'll remember fucking the loser of last years Final.”

“Did you forget that she's also going to smell like his?”

 _Fuck_. He had forgotten.

“Look, I’ll deal with that _if_ it comes to it,” Yuuri finally says. “Chances are good that I'm not going to even be following you to the Final if I do take the job, so I can avoid the truth until at least next season.”

“Yuuri…”

“How's your quad coming along?”

888

The weeks following Mieko’s birth take a lot of adjusting on everyone’s part. Hiriko helps when she can, but Yuuri is very insistent on not bottle feeding Mieko until she’s at least a month old, and even then in major circumstances. So he’s up every few hours, pressing that tiny mouth to his sore nipples. There are nights when he wants nothing but to cry, where he’s so desperate for sleep that he actually does, only to awaken when he starts listing sideways. There are days filled with ease, where Mieko is perfectly happy to stay in the sling on his chest, little fists curled into whatever bit of fabric is closest. There are days when nothing he does seems to help her crying and he breaks down in tears more than once. Mari, surprisingly, is the one who will take her then, shooing Yuuri down to the ocean for a few minutes to calm down.

His doctor has given him anti-depressants to help, but they don’t always work. He starts going to his old therapist again, working through all of the issues pressing on his mind, clamoring for attention he doesn’t want to give. It helps, talking to her, and Yuuri isn’t sure if it’s the short breaks from Mieko (which makes him feel terrible to even think) or the cathartic release of spilling his thoughts to a mostly-stranger.

One thing Yuuri refuses to do is to reveal who the father is. Phichit and Yuuko are the only two who know, and he’s pretty sure Mari has figured it out, but he’s determined to keep it a secret for as long as possible. It’s stupid, because it’s not like he’s famous, and it’s not like anyone will immediately make the connection, but Yuuri’s brain likes to bring it up a lot.

He spends a lot of time telling his brain to shove it.

Mieko grows, like a tiny weed. She was only five pounds and three ounces when she was born, already tiny in the womb and so much tinier outside of it. She eats and eats, and Yuuri makes sure that he’s eating as healthy as he can for her. It’s helps him lose his baby weight even faster than just nursing alone, which he’s grateful for. Phichit sends him several outfits for Mieko and demands video calls as often as Yuuri is feeling up to it. He claims it’s so he can see his goddaughter, but Yuuri knows it’s also his way of checking in on him.

As soon as the doctor declares him healed enough, but with a stern warning to take it easy, Yuuri straps on his boots for the first time in many months. They’re a little snug, but sliding onto the ice for the first time feels like coming home. Yuuko stands on the sidelines with Mieko while Takashi skates next to him. He’s not really worried that he’s going to fall, but he’d also rather not have his daughter with him while he readjusts to his new center of gravity. It’s not as bad as he thought and he’s soon gliding slowly around the edge of the ice. Mieko coos as he goes past her and he blows her a kiss. At six weeks old, she can’t do much, but Yuuko keeps her upright, murmuring into her soft silver curls as they track his movements.

“Next time,” Yuuri says later as he changes out his skates for his regular shoes, “I’ll take her out on the ice.”

Yuuko laughs, giving Mieko one last kiss on the head before tucking her into the sling. “I bet she’ll love it; how could she not?”

Yuuri hugs Mieko close and smiles, silently agreeing.

888

Not only does Mieko take to the ice like a natural, but it quickly becomes the only way to calm her down on the days when nothing else seems to work. Yuuko will meet him on the edge of the rink, slowly skating around while Yuuri straps into his skates. Mieko, without fail, will immediately quiet once she’s in her mother’s arms. Slow laps around the ice, Mieko strapped to his chest, becomes a common sight at Ice Castle.

By the time November rolls around and Yuuri begins to gear up to take the trip to Sapporo, Mieko is nearly four months old. Sometimes, he looks at her and can hardly believe that she’s _his_ , he _made_ her. Her laugh lifts his spirits, her smile melts his heart, and the big, sloppy kisses she leaves on his cheek do more for his moral than anything else could.

“Are you sure you want to take her with you?” Hiriko asks, keeping Mieko distracted while Yuuri packs. “You can always leave her here.”

Yuuri flicks his mom a Look, adding another outfit to his suitcase. Mieko’s clothes are small enough that they can share it, but she needs extras in case of spit up. “ _Okaasan_ , you know you wouldn’t have left us with anyone else when we were that young.”

“But Yuu-chan…” Hiriko knows he’s right, but she teases him anyway.

“We’ll only be gone five days; what are you going to do if I take this job and move back to America?”

“Cry,” Mari pipes up from the doorway. “And you’ll be too far away to hear it; lucky. Yuuko is here to take you to the train station,” she adds over her shoulder as she wanders away.

Yuuri shoves the last bit of things on his bed into Mieko’s diaper bag, allowing Hikiro to strap Mieko into her seat after giving her kisses and carrying her out while Yuuri lugs the bags. The train takes them from Hasetsu to Tokyo, where they change to the plane that will fly them to Sapporo. The train there would have been over nine hours and Yuuri didn’t want Mieko stuck in her seat that long. Better to fly in and deal with a little fussing when her ears popped.

Phichit and Celestino are waiting for them at the gate and Celestino is quick to wrap Yuuri in a brief, tight embrace while Phichit grabs Mieko’s carrier and pulls the fussing infant out. Celestino’s chatter is cut off the second he sees her.

“Yuuri-”

“It’s not-”

“ _Yuuri_ -”

“Please, Ciao Ciao, not here,” Yuuri hisses, eyes flicking the crowd as though paparazzi would converge at any second. He doesn’t say anything else, but the look he gives Yuuri says that the conversation is only on hold. They head to the hotel where most of the skaters are staying and Yuuri is pretty sure that they make it up to the rooms Celestino rented for them all without anyone seeing Mieko. She seems enamored by Phichit, tiny fingers pulling at his face and grasping at his bottom lip. Phichit playfully noms on it, making her giggle.

There are two rooms, connected by a door. Celestino immediately claims the room with only one bed and wishes Phichit luck sleeping with a four month old. Phichit immediately sticks his tongue out at his coach. Mieko immediately copies him, eyes big as she stares at Phichit with her tiny tongue stuck out. Yuuri laughs; this, more than anything, feels like coming home.

888

True to his word, Celestino corners Yuuri the next morning. Phichit is curled up with Mieko, napping while they go for a coffee run. Yuuri considers himself lucky that his old coach waits until they’re half a block from the hotel before he speaks.

“So Mieko has some very interesting hair.”

“Some might say that.”

“And her eyes; that’s a startling shade of blue.”

“Hm.”

“Are you going to make me ask?”

Yuuri shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You already know that answer, why ask the question?”

The breath Celestino sucks in hisses through his teeth as he stops in the middle of the sidewalk to turn towards Yuuri. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me that you did not have-” he leans in, eyes flicking around, “- _Viktor Nikiforov’s child without telling anyone_.”

“I mean, technically, I told Phichit-” Yuuri scuffs the toe of his shoe against the pavement, not looking at Celestino, but the man doesn’t start walking again. “Mieko is Viktor’s, okay? It was a one night stand and he was gone when I woke up and I really don’t want to talk about it.”

They start walking again in silence, until they join the queue at the nearest coffee shop. “Yuuri, I say this with your best interest at heart, but if you do join me for coaching, you must realize that you’re going to eventually see him again, no?”

“I know, and I have thought about it. I’ll figure something out.” Yuuri tries for a confident smile, but even he can feel the corners never come fully up.

Celestino sighs, but doesn’t say anything as they step up to the counter and place an order. Yuuri only drinks tea these days; he’s worried about the caffeine in coffee going through his breast milk, even if some days, he’s so exhausted that he wishes he could. It’s better now; Mieko doesn’t wake up quite as often at night to feed, so he’s able to get a little more sleep. He’s not sure how he’s going to handle it if he does accept Celestino’s offer, though. Working at the onsen is hard enough, and that’s surrounded by his family. He knows that an answer is expected of him soon and that keeping his former coach waiting as long as he has is extremely rude.

He thinks about it as they walk back to the hotel. In contrast to the walk there, Celestino keeps up a steady stream of words, talking about how the skate club is doing and who made it to international competitions this year, who left and a couple of new kids that joined. Strangely, it doesn’t distract him, only serving to remind him of the world he’s missed in Detroit.

Phichit and Mieko are awake when they get back, playing peek-a-boo on Phichit’s bed. Mieko giggles, fingers grasping at Phichit’s hands when he gets close. She turns when Yuuri gets closer and immediately starts fussing, like she just realized that her mother hasn’t been there and demanding his attention. Yuuri sets down his tea and picks her up, blowing on her belly before holding her close and kissing her nose.

“Hello, Mi-chan, were you having fun with oji?” She presses a wet kiss to Yuuri’s cheek and he laughs. Celestino has set out all of the breakfast food, but Mieko is fussing for food, too impatient now that Yuuri is back. Celestino and Phichit both assure him that it’s fine for him to breastfeed at the table and a cover is not necessary.

“Do you want a blanket on your head while you’re eating?” Phichit jokes as they situate themselves around the table. Mieko doesn’t care about discussion, however, latching onto Yuuri’s nipple as soon as it’s exposed and making a content grunting noise. “She sounds like you that time we found that actually-authentic Japanese restaurant,” Phichit adds with a snort.

Yuuri wads up a napkin and throws it at him, causing Celestino to complain that they didn’t grab that many and Yuuri shouldn’t waste them. It feels normal in a way that Yuuri didn’t realize he missed. The world rights itself, if only for a little while.

888

Mieko fusses in her sling as they stand at the side of the practice rink. She’s used to being on the ice by now and seeing it makes both of them long to join the others. Yuuri wonders if he can convince someone to let him skate later on, after everyone else has left. Celestino is giving him coaching pointers and there are occasions that Yuuri finds himself not hesitating to call out to Phichit to fix something. _It’s almost as good as being back in Detroit_ , he thinks.

There’s a commotion by the door that draws everyone’s attention. Yuuri squints as two people enter, one stomping in front and the other following, bellowing something that they can’t make out. It’s only once they get closer that he realizes it’s Yuri Plisetsky, the Russian Ice Tiger, blond hair haphazardly twisted into a bun as Coach Yakov yells at him in Russian.Yuuri remembers the boy, fresh off his win in the Junior Grand Prix Finals, cornering him in the stall of an abandoned bathroom and yelling at him to retire. The words had stuck with him, eating at what little confidence that he had, but he remembers the banquet afterwards and challenging Yuri to a dance off. He doesn’t remember who won, but he hopes that it was him.

Yakov stops next to Celestino while the Russian Yuri goes to the entrance of the rink, skating over briefly to slap his skate guards down in front of Yakov before taking off.

“I swear, every year I teach him, that boy ages him,” Yakov grumbles to Celestino.

“He certainly seems feisty. All around junior champion, the next Viktor, a headache in general from what I hear.”

Yakov groans. “He fights me about everything, nothing is challenging enough for him! I never thought I would say this, but I wish he was more like Viktor was at that age. He never listened, but at least he didn’t yell at me when things didn’t go his way.”

“Talking bad about me again, Yakov? That’s so mean!”

The words are enough to stop Yuuri’s silent edging away, but the voice is what freezes his blood. He chances a glance over to see that _Viktor Nikiforov is standing on the other side of Yakov_. He looks unfairly good in his Russian team track suit, smirk on his lips as he flicks his hair to the side. He looks exactly how he always does and it makes Yuuri want to run. Mieko’s head immediately turns in Viktor’s direction.

“All of these grey hairs are yours, Viktor,” Yakov replies as Celestino glances at Yuuri. His eyes flick to the exit on the other side of the rink, silently giving him permission to make his escape. He turns, body blocking most of Yuuri from sight as he starts talking to the two Russian’s, but Yuuri’s legs don’t seem to want to move. Mieko fussing suddenly jerks him into action, but it’s too late; the sound stops the conversation behind him.

“Yuuri!” He turns just in time to see Viktor beaming at him, but the smile drops and his eyes grow wide as he takes in the bundle of silver hair and blue eyes strapped to Yuuri’s chest.

“What-”

Yuuri doesn’t know what to do, because Viktor is _here_ and he’s not supposed to be and Mieko is fussing and it suddenly seems like every eye in the rink is on him. It’s too much, his breath coming too fast, so he does the only thing he can think of.

He turns around and, clutching Mieko tightly, Katsuki Yuuri runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would apologize but I'm not sorry.
> 
> I am sorry if this chapter in general sucks??? I was struggling to stay awake yesterday and thought writing would be brilliant.


	4. Whatever Your Brain Is Telling You Is A Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone @ the last chapter: OMGOMGOMG THIS IS SO GOOD  
> also everyone @ the last chapter: HOW COULD YOU LEAVE IT THERE
> 
> Wow, y'all, just... _wow_ , the outpouring of love I got on that last chapter got me all kinds of rolling-on-the-floor. While I do plan on continuing to try to post every Friday until this reaches its completion, I decided to post a day early this time, since I posted a day late last week. I hope everyone continues to enjoy this!
> 
> Oh, someone asked about my tumblr and the tag on there. I have a tumblr, but I don't use it much because I don't really get much interaction with people on there. However, since it was brought up, here ya go:
> 
>  
> 
> [ITSA ME](http://azraeldoesnotdispute.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> [ITSA TAG](http://azraeldoesnotdispute.tumblr.com/tagged/kmitcoym%20fic)

Katsuki Yuuri runs, and runs, because he doesn’t know what else to do. He can’t run forever, of course; logically, he knows this. But the idea does have its appeal, because he doesn’t know how to face what he’s running from.

How do you face your idol and tell them that the one night you spent together resulted in a baby that you hid from them? How do you face anyone and tell them that? The decision wasn’t an easy one, but the thought of seeing Viktor again, seeing the disappointment or, worse, disgust, on his face when he realized that Yuuri had accidentally gotten pregnant, was infinitely more horrible than the thought of raising his daughter alone.

Finding a small room in the depths of the rink is surprisingly easy when your fight-or-flight instincts kick in. Yuuri makes soothing noises at Mieko, who wails in his arms. He paces the room, bouncing her lightly as he tries to figure out what to do. He wasn’t expecting to see Viktor so soon. Maybe at the World Championships at the earliest, if he were unlucky, but not here, before even the Final. He could run and hide in the hotel room, lock the door and not let anyone in until his flight back home. Phichit would understand, at least. He couldn’t face Viktor, not now, and maybe not ever. It wasn’t too late to change his name and move to Antarctica and live with penguins, right?

“Yuuri?” He jumps at the voice and turns around. Phichit is standing at the doorway, looking flushed and a sad. “Give me Mieko, she’s never going to calm down with you so worked up right now, okay?” Phichit keeps his voice soft and soothing, slowly walking towards Yuuri, who clutches Mieko tighter. “Yuuri, I could hear her crying from the end of the hall, she needs you to calm down right now and you can’t do that while she’s in your arms. Just let me hold her while we work on your breathing, okay? I’ll stand right next to you; you’ll be able to see her the whole time, I promise.”

It takes a few seconds for the words to penetrate Yuuri’s frantic brain, but when they do, he lets go of Mieko, shakily pulling her out of her sling and passing her onto Phichit. He inhales, forcing himself to do it as slowly as possible. Phichit encourages him as he soothes Mieko at the same time, helping Yuuri’s breathing to slow, his thoughts to stop racing, his panic melting just a little bit. As he calms down, so does Mieko, who is reduced to sniffles by the time Yuuri takes her back. Holding her close, he whispers in Japanese, apologies and love and soothing words, until she curls into him, head tucked into his neck where his scent gland is, and falls asleep.

“Thank you, Phichit,” Yuuri whispers, looking up at the man he is so, so, so, glad is his best friend.

“You know I’m always here for you, Yuuri.” He looks tired and Yuuri suddenly realizes that Phichit _left practice_ , he has a _competition_ in a few days, he shouldn’t be wasting time with Yuuri. “I know that look on your face and whatever your brain is telling you is a lie,” Phichit says. “I’d rather be here with you.”

Yuuri really does not deserve Phichit, but he’s eternally glad he has him.

They stay in the room for a few more minutes before Yuuri tells Phichit to get back to practice, assuring him that they’ll be okay now. Phichit grabs the diaper bag that he dropped outside the door and puts it on a chair inside, giving it a meaningful look that Yuuri immediately interprets. As soon as he’s gone, barefeet padding back to the rink, Yuuri looks around. The rooms seems to be an office of some sort, but possibly abandoned, as there are no pictures on the desk, not even a computer, and there’s a few pieces of furniture crammed in that look like they have no reason to be there. Yuuri picks up the bag and takes it to small futon that’s randomly shoved against the wall.

Mieko sleeps through him digging out the medication and swallowing down one of the pills with a swig of water. She sleeps through him adjusting her back into her sling and as he resumes pacing, though at a much more sedate speed than before. He needs to think and, until the medication kicks in, he needs to move.  
  
There’s only one thing he can do, in all honesty. He can’t hide anymore; he knows that Viktor saw Mieko. Even if he wants nothing to do with either of them, Viktor deserves to know the truth, deserves to at least have the chance to know his daughter. Even if he hates Yuuri for getting pregnant, for having the child, for hiding her from the world. It’s the right thing to do.

He’ll wait until his medication kicks in, make sure that he’s calm and at least slightly more collected than usual, and then he’ll go out there and… and… and what? He’s not sure. Pull Viktor to the side? Blurt everything out to everyone? _He’s not sure_.

Finally, he gathers up Mieko’s bag and leaves the room, walking slowly. He tells himself that it’s so Mieko won’t wake up, but she’s used to him bustling about the onsen, so he can’t even really lie that well to his own self. The noises from the rink build as Yuuri gets closer, coaches yelling out to their students and a few students yelling back. It’s a sound he’s missed, not replicated fully at the onsen, but now the thought of going back out there scares him. Peeking around the corner, Yuuri spots Ciao Ciao, standing alone at the edge of the rink and frowning. Yakov and Viktor are nowhere to be seen.

“They’re not here,” a thickly accented voice says from behind him, causing Yuuri turn whirl around. The girl has bright red hair and her accent is a dead giveaway that she’s Russian, even if her tracksuit didn’t. He vaguely remembers seeing her preform in the women’s division, but at this moment, her name eludes him.

“Erm, I’m sorry?”

“Yakov dragged Vitya out of here right after you ran off. My name’s Mila, by the way.” She holds out a hand and Yuuri tentatively takes it. Her grip is firm as she pumps his hand twice before letting him go, eyeing him speculatively. “Cute kid,” she finally says.

Yuuri’s ears burn as he holds Mieko a little tighter. “Ah, thank you. Uhm, well, I, ah, should get back to my coach. Uh, good luck with your skating.” Mila smirks but doesn’t saying anything else, just nods and he can feel her eyes tracking him as he finally goes back into the main area of the rink, scuttling up to Celestino.

“Sorry for running off,” he mumbles. If possible, Celestino’s frown deepens, but he doesn’t look away from Phichit, who attempts a quad lutz, but under rotates.

“He tried to go after you.” Celestino breaks the silence after several minutes. “He told Yakov he needed to see you.” A heavy pause before, “And the baby.”

Yuuri winces; he should have never come here. He should have stayed in Hasetsu and worked in the onsen and never set foot near any rink other than Ice Castle. He’s dragging Celestino down, pulled Phichit from his practice, distracted the Living Legend himself-

“Yuuri, I’m not mad at you. I’m worried. All of this hiding, it seems to being doing you more harm than good, mentally.” Celestino sighs, running a hand over his face and finally looking at Yuuri. “Yakov said he was taking Viktor back to the hotel; maybe you should have this conversation that you’ve been putting off. It will be better for everyone, in the end.”

Yuuri lets out breath he did not realize he was holding; Celestino is right, Phichit is right, this needs to be done and now rather than later. “I’m going to walk back to the hotel, Coach. I’ll see you for dinner.”

Celestino nods and says, “I’ll text you when I figure out where we’re eating.”

“Thanks.”

888

Yuuri doesn’t walk directly back to the hotel. It’s a rare nice day, the sun shining brightly overhead, the wind crisp with the promise of winter. Probably the last one, considering it’s the end of November. Yuuri spots a park and detours, walking the paths at random as he reflects on the fact that his birthday is in less than a week. He’ll be twenty four, then. All at once, he feels too old and too young, skin stretched tight as he tries to sort out how to talk to Viktor, now that he has a little bit more time. He’s not even sure how to find out which room Viktor’s in, much less how he’s going to explain himself.

He settles on a bench when Mieko wakes and starts to fuss, making sure she’s wrapped up warmly before tugging his shirt down and letting her latch. She’s an old pro now, no longer fighting to find the nipple, and he can’t help but stroke her soft cheek for a second as she feeds, her blue eyes fluttering shut as Yuuri covers her completely to keep out the cold. He drifts, mind running over different scenarios, but the pill has kicked in and the feeling of panic doesn’t overtake him.

“Yuuri?”

He starts and looks up, and up, and up, because Viktor is tall, especially when Yuuri is sitting. “V-Viktor?”

“Wow, of all the places, this was not where I expected to see you,” Viktor says, his voice… nervous? Why is he nervous?

“Um, yeah, me either. The same, with, ah, you, being… here.” Yuuri stumbles mentally and rights himself. “Uhm, you can sit, if you want.”

Viktor does, and it makes it easier for Yuuri, when he doesn’t feel like he’s being towered over. The silence between them is heavy and awkward and Yuuri isn’t sure what to say. Viktor keeps glancing at the bundle of blankets and baby in Yuuri’s arms.

“So-”

“Is the-” Viktor quickly waves off whatever he started to say, insisting that Yuuri go first.

“Ah, so, I’m guessing you have a few questions for me, like why I’m carrying around a baby,” Yuuri says, forcing his voice to stay even and not shake like it so badly wants to.

“That did catch my attention.” Viktor shoots him a dazzling, press-ready smile, but for the first time, Yuuri realizes how fake it looks. And when he looks closer at Viktor, he realizes how tired Viktor looks, the lines of his body strong, but heavy in a way that comes with exhaustion. Yuuri knows; he’s seen it too often in himself as he struggled his way through his degree while spending every extra minute he could on the ice, dragging himself to the apartment late at night for a few hours of sleep before getting up again a few hours later to repeat the whole thing. “That, and the impressive head of hair they had.”

“She.”

Viktor opens like a flower. “She?”

“Yes. Her name is Mieko.”

“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful baby.”

They sit there until Mieko starts fussing, releasing Yuuri’s nipple and knocking the blanket away from her face. Viktor freezes as Yuuri covers himself up and sits Mieko up, effortlessly draping a burp cloth over his shoulder and settling her in. His nerves are amped up with each passing second that Viktor doesn’t say anything; he watches them, mesmerized, as Mieko lets out a hearty burp.

“Her eyes… Is she-”

Yuuri nods, too ashamed to look Viktor in the face. “She’s yours, Viktor. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I was so scared, I didn’t want you to feel like you had to be with me because I was stupid and wasn’t on birth control because I thought suppressants would be enough and you were gone the next morning so you probably didn’t want anything else and so I was just going to raise her myself but Celestino asked me to help him with coaching and I thought I could hide her or something and I’m really sorry please don’t hate me for this and don’t take it out on Mieko she’s just a baby this isn’t her fault it’s all mine I’m so sorry-”

He probably would have kept on rambling for days if Viktor hadn’t held out his hands, silently asking to hold his daughter for the first time. Mieko immediately lists towards him, hands grabbing for Viktor as soon as she’s able to. Yuuri allows it, watching in abject fascination as Viktor speaks quietly to her, soft Russian words that go over Yuuri’s head, but Mieko is obviously listening intently, taking in everything that her father says.

“You are so beautiful, _lyubov moya_.” Viktor’s voice is filled with awe and when he looks at Yuuri, his eyes are wet. “Can I- She’s really mine?”

Yuuri nods. “I’m sorry I kept her from you. I didn’t want you to feel obligated.”

“A child is never an obligation. Even if I hadn’t wanted kids, I still would have been there for you,” Viktor says firmly, his eyes glued to Mieko. “I missed so much. I’m the one who should be sorry; you never contacted me, so I thought it was-” He flutters a bit, unable to really move with Mieko’s tiny hands holding onto his, but he gets his point across.

“I didn’t have a way to contact you,” Yuuri says, frowning.

“What?”

“You said I didn’t contact you. I don’t have your number, how was I supposed to contact you?”

Viktor tears his eyes away from Mieko, her tiny hands dropping from his mouth where he had been pretending to eat her fingers. “I gave you my number, it was on the note.” Viktor’s eyebrows furrow.

“Note? What note?”

“Yuuri, please tell me you got my note. I had to catch an early plane home, I left you a note, it was on the table next to you.” Viktor looks frantic now and the mood shifts. Mieko begins to fuss a bit, picking up on it. To Yuuri’s surprise, she clings to Viktor, pressing her face into his scent gland, tiny hand gripping his jacket. Viktor immediately begins soothing her, his hand so large over her back as he rubs up and down, singing softly in Russian until she calms down.

“I should take her back to the hotel; it’s cold out,” Yuuri says, instead of another word vomit of all the things he’s feeling as he watches the two of them. Mieko doesn’t scent anyone else but him; not his parents or sister, no one. She’ll patiently let them mark her, but she doesn’t actively scent _anyone_ but Yuuri.

“Oh, right, of course,” Viktor says. He doesn’t move to hand her back though, instead standing up and gesturing for her blanket, which Yuuri passes over to him. “You’re staying at the same hotel as all the other skaters, yes?” When Yuuri only nods, Viktor starts walking, fully expecting Yuuri to follow, which he does quickly. Viktor seems reluctant to return Mieko, keeping her warm as he chatters about his rink mates all the way back to the hotel. Yuuri presses the button to their floor when the lift comes and Viktor positively beams at him. “I’m on the same floor, what a coincidence!”

_Of course he is._

They stop in front of the door of Yuuri’s room and he takes Mieko, who has fallen asleep, from Viktor, who shifts restlessly in front of Yuuri.

“Can I see you again?” he blurts out, his voice just a touch too loud in the empty hallway. “Both of you?”

Yuuri stares at him in surprise. “You want to?”

“Of course I do.” Viktor stares at him like he grew an extra head. “I want to get to know you better and,” his breath hitches, shudders, but he pushes through, “and I would like to spend more time with Mieko, too, if I can?” When Yuuri just stares at him, shock freezing his thoughts, Viktor rushes to add, “It’s just that, I missed so much, with the pregnancy and the birth, and I want to be there for her, and you-”

“YES.”

Viktor blinks. “Yes?”

“Yes,” Yuuri clears his throat, face burning. “Yes, you can see Mieko again. She-she should know her father.”

“Thank you, so, so much.” Viktor’s eyes are wide and damp as he stares down at him. “And you, Yuuri?”

“...what?”

“Can I see more of you, too?” Viktor is suddenly close, face morphing into something more sensual between one blink and the next, alpha pheromones swamping Yuuri’s senses. “I would like to get to know you better.”

Yurri’s throat is dry and he struggles to swallow, the “Sure” he manages to force past his lips coming out with a crack.

“Wonderful!” Viktor takes a step back, taking his stupid good-smelling pheromones with him. “Here, give me your phone.”

Yuuri’s body obeys automatically, digging his cell out of his pocket and unlocking it before passing it to Viktor, who types something in. Yuuri hears the _whoosh_ of a text being sent before Viktor’s phone pings from his own pocket.

“I’ll be in touch.” And then he gone. Yuuri wonders what just happened. He moves like a zombie into the room, settling Mieko, still sleeping soundly, into the bassinet provided by the hotel before collapsing onto his bed. He’s suddenly emotionally exhausted; this certainly wasn’t how he had expected this day to go.

888

Yuuri is awoken suddenly a couple of hours later by Mieko crying. He jumps up and hurries to check on her; he hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep. He gets her diaper changed, makes sure she’s not hungry, and then checks his phone, which has let out a few dings at this point.

_Celestino Ciadlini:  
We’re almost finished here, do you want to meet us at this restaurant?_

The pinned location is close to the hotel, only a couple of minutes walk, but Yuuri waits to reply, pulling up the other messages waiting on his phone first.

 _Viktor Nikiforov:_  
Yuuri!!! Come to dinner with me?  
Please?  
Mieko, too!  
Though she’s probably too young to eat big people food…  
But bring her too!

Yuuri jumps as another message comes in, his phone buzzing in his hand. It's another one from Viktor: _Please?_ followed by an inordinate amount of sad and crying faces. Yuuri isn't sure what to do; he's still so nervous about being around Viktor, waiting for the other shoe to fall, for Viktor to get angry about what Yuuri had done. Viktor had never seemed like the angry type, but Yuuri had only ever seen his public persona.

 _Maybe it's time to change that_ , Yuuri thinks, shooting off a reply to Ciao Ciao before flipping back to Viktor’s chat.

_Sorry, I was napping and Mieko woke me up. Dinner sounds fine, where do you want to meet?_

888

An hour later, Viktor is knocking at the hotel room door, smiling brightly. Though it’s first directed at Yuuri, his eyes are soon drawn to Mieko, wrapped warmly in her sling. Yuuri can tell that Viktor wants to ask if he can carry her, but he doesn’t, instead leading them to the lift at the end of the hall while chatting amicably. The restaurant that Viktor takes them to is small and cozy; the familiar smells of Japanese cooking go far in soothing Yuuri’s nerves. He promised himself that he would do his best to let Viktor in, to be comfortable enough around him so that Viktor will feel at ease in seeing Mieko, but that doesn’t stop his anxiety from stomping around his brain.

“ _Irasshaimase_ ,” a waitress by the door says, bowing. “ _Nanmei sama desu ka?_ ”

“ _Nimei desu_ ,” Yuuri replies, following her to a small table in the back of the room. Mieko immediately begins to fight to get out, settling in Yuuri’s arms with her eyes fixed on Viktor. Silence sits awkwardly between them; someone drops off tea for their table and Yuuri nervously fiddles with the cup, one hand holding Mieko up and steady.

“So, what do you recommend?” Viktor asks, smile wide; his eyes flick between him and Mieko.

 _As far as ice breakers go, it’s not the worst_ , Yuuri muses. He goes over what foods the restaurant offers and makes a couple of suggestions that he think Viktor might enjoy. Once they’ve decided, Yuuri calls someone over and places their order.

Viktor turns from where he’s smiling brightly at the waiter’s retreating back and focuses on Yuuri, face relaxing slightly. “Is it okay to ask about Mieko?” His voice is soft and hesitant; it makes Yuuri want to curl up in shame for hiding her.

“Uh, yes, what do you want to know?”

“Everything,” Viktor breathes. So Yuuri takes a deep breath and tells Viktor the whole story; how he thought it was just a stomach bug but Phichit (“He’s a Thai skater, he’s competing at NHK, he’s my best friend”) felt like something was wrong and insisted on going to the doctor. How he had taken the news of the pregnancy, Mieko’s development, her too early delivery that nearly has Viktor crying. He tells Viktor of all of the milestones she’s hit and by the time dinner is over, Yuuri doesn’t feel nearly as awkward. It helps that Viktor is absolutely useless with chopsticks in the beginning, so watching him attempt to eat had been hilarious. He was a quick study, though, and by the time they had finished, he was eating like someone who had been using them for years.

“Can I carry Mieko back?” he asks when Yuuri begins to arrange her in the sling. They had traded her back and forth during dinner, allowing each other to eat without the difficulties that come with trying to hold a baby at the same time, but Yuuri has to admit that his daughter's eyes had rarely left Viktor.

“Yes.”

Yuuri makes sure she’s covered well before they step out of the restaurant, diaper bag swinging against his hip. Viktor coos at Mieko, jabbering away in Russian while Mieko giggles.

“What does her name mean?” Viktor’s voice comes out slightly garbled, Mieko’s fingers in his mouth.

“What?”

“Her name? It has a meaning, right?”

“Oh, oh, of course, yes. It means ‘prosperous’ in Japanese.” Yuuri’s face burns and he’s glad for the fading light; it’s obviously Japanese.

“I love it! Such a strong name for a strong little girl!” Viktor coos again. Yuuri notices that he doesn’t ask about her last name.

Mieko starts fussing just as they get back to the hotel. “She’s probably just hungry,” Yuuri says as they get on the lift. Viktor jams the button to their floor as Yuuri takes her back, shushing her gently. “We’ll be back in the room soon, Mi-chan, just hold on for a minute.”

“Mi-chan?”

“Oh, it’s, hm, kind of like a Russian diminutive? Family or a close friend usually adds ‘chan’ or ‘kun’ to your first name, it differs, where someone who you don’t know as well would add ‘san’ to the end. San is respectful, like the English equivalent to mister or miss. Full names are used when you're talking to an acquaintance, but closer people usually shorten the name.”

Viktor looks speculative as they exit the lift and walk towards the door of Yuuri’s hotel room. “So your family would call you Yuu-chan?”

“Only my mother does when she’s teasing me. Male’s usually use ‘kun’ when they’re younger.” The look hasn’t faded from Viktor’s face; Yuuri quickly adds, “There’s a lot that goes into Japanese names, I’m sorry if I’m not explaining things well.”

“What? No, you did fine, I’m just… thinking.” Viktor smiles, softly in the way he only has for Mieko so far. “I’ll let you go, I know Mikeo is hungry. I’ll see you tomorrow, though? At the rink?”

He looks so hopeful that even if Yuuri hadn’t already been going to the rink, he would have changed everything to make sure he was. “Yes, tomorrow. Good night, Viktor.”

Viktor leans in, kissing Mieko’s head and whispering, “ _Dobroy nochi, moya milaya_.” His face, when he lifts it, is only inches from Yuuri’s. “Good night, Yuuri-kun,” he adds, before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Yuuri’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Yuuri watches him walk away, enters his room, and begins feeding Mieko, all while feeling like he’s dreaming, floating on air. It doesn’t shake off even when Phichit and Celestino come in a few minutes later and he must realize something is up, because Phichit asks him if he’s okay.

“I’m fine,” he replies, a smile tugging at his lips. And, for the first time in over a year, he feels like he actually is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations (all found on the interwebs: I only speak English fluently, Spanish and French with minimum fluidity, and Italian and German very poorly):  
>  _Irasshaimase_ \- welcome, please come in  
>  _Nanmei sama desu ka_ \- how many people in the party  
>  _Nimei desu_ \- two people  
>  _Dobroy nochi, moya milaya_ \- good night, my sweet girl
> 
> EDIT: Thank you, ImaginaryPicture, for correcting my Japanese!
> 
> Please don't jump on my case about Yuuri's explanation of Japanese names; he's nervous and it's a lot to explain to someone in a short amount of time, plus a slight language barrier because English is hard, so he went with the simplest route possible.
> 
> Before you go "This is too easy" please keep in mind I'm trying to keep the angst down from my usual levels and also that this is only the fourth chapter. If you want me to crank up the angst, go read my Glee fic Too Long Without You and then decide if you really want me to make it more angsty. Literally everyone cried reading that one. I cried writing that one. I do angst really well.
> 
> Now for the for real Author's Note:
> 
> One person commented asking how many chapters there will be and the answer is ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ like, my dudes, this was supposed to be, like, 6k max??? And while I have a general plan, in truth, I tend to get wordy and the chapters get long, so I can guess maybe ten? But I won't really know until I'm done writing this, to be honest. I hope that helps.
> 
> A more pressing issue, however, is Update Demands. I've gotten a couple of comments about this and, please, I am begging you, don't do the thing. I know you're excited; hell, I'm excited about seeing the next chapter too, I love the enthusiasm you guys have! However, I am also a person who suffers from anxiety and a major case of 'everything I do sucks' and that makes it hard to write, especially when I feel like I'm being pressured. I will get blocked and there will not be chapter updates if this happens. Not because I'm being mean, but I genuinely just don't handle it well. 
> 
> As of right now, chapter updates will be sometime around Friday's and that's not likely to change, even if I do get the fic finished early. Anyway, I hope everyone liked this chapter and thank you for reading and writing and the kudos!


	5. NIKIFOROV-KATSUKI SECRET LOVE CHILD

Yuuri is not fine.

Mieko wakes him up the next morning, crying for a clean diaper and a meal, and Phichit reluctantly drags himself out of bed when she wakes him up too. He leaves the room after pulling on some trousers and returns a few minutes later with pastries for them to eat. Ciao Ciao comes in after they’re finished, frowning down at his phone as he sits at the table and accepts the food Phichit shoves in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, even as he pulls out his own phone. Before their coach can even open his mouth, Phichit lets out a yell, eyes bugging at his screen. “Oh, no.”

“What, what’s wrong?” Yuuri asks frantically, looking between the two of them. “You both look like war was declared or something.”

Celestino looks like he doesn’t want to answer, but Phichit hands his phone over to Yuuri, who takes one look at the title on the screen and immediately wants to drop it. 

**NIKIFOROV-KATSUKI SECRET LOVE CHILD!**   
_Fans of the Russian skating legends Viktor Nikiforov were shocked to find out that he is a father! And who other than Katsuki Yuuri, Japan’s Ace who announced retirement last season after coming in last place at several events, including the Grand Prix Final, is the mother! Katsuki has not been spotted since March, when he caught a flight from Detroit back to his home country of Japan. While it is not unusual, people can see now why Katsuki was even more elusive than usual._

_Sources spotted Nikiforov and Katsuki getting cozy on a park bench in Sapporo, where the NHK Trophy is about to kick off, and then later on hidden in the back of a restaurant. The two were accompanied by an adorable little girl, who looks just like her mother, but has the trademark silver hair and blue eyes of her father. Many wondered why Katsuki was retiring so young and we think we know why! The most burning question, of course, is how did no one know that these two were even an item? The news comes as a big shock to everyone, but it also explains why both skaters were out of the spotlight all summer long; it’s hard work preparing for a baby._

_We’ve reached out to the representatives of these two skaters for comment, but have not heard back at the time of posting. We will update when we have more information. Until then, enjoy these adorable photos of the family together!_

Yuuri wants to faint. Probably would if Mieko wasn’t still attached to him.

“Yuuri-” Phichit and Celestino both are staring at him, both worried, but a knock on the door interrupts. Phichit goes to answer it while Celestino watches Yuuri; they’re all surprised to see Viktor standing there, looking disheveled.

“Yuuri, I don’t know who leaked that to the press, but Yakov is already talking about suing someone, we’ll get this figured out, I swear-” He’s at Yuuri’s side within a second, kneeling next to him as he rants about firing whoever told the world.

“I’m pretty sure it was just a random fan,” Yuuri hears himself say. He feels like he’s in a bubble; the world is bright and sharp, but the words come through muddled.

“Yeah, the pictures don’t look professional,” Phichit says as he settles back in his chair. Celestino closes the door and sits down as well, long fingers picking apart the food in front of him.

“I don’t care!” Viktor bursts out. “That was private; no one should have sold pictures of us, of our _daughter_ to the press! They’re not truly a fan of mine if they would stoop so low! Yakov is talking to the website owners, but the article is up and they won’t take it down. I told him to release a statement saying that the matter was private and asking for them to respect my wishes.” He stops, looking at Celestino. “You should probably do the same, if you’re the one who handles it, unless…”

All eyes turn to Yuuri, who is frozen in his seat.

“Yuuri, are you okay?” Celestino asks. When he only nods, Celestino looks at Viktor. “I was actually woken up by the skate club's press team calling, asking what to do. Since Yuuri is technically no longer part of our skate club, unless he signs on to be an assistant coach, then we cannot speak for him without permission. I also got a call from the website themselves, since I’m his former coach, but I wanted to talk to Yuuri about it before I said anything.”

“Not part of the skate club?” Viktor frowns, looking back up at Yuuri, who flushes and looks away. “Yuuri?”

“You can’t have a baby and jump back on the ice, Viktor. Even if I had been able to have Mieko the natural way, there’s a healing time and there’s no way I would have been in competition shape for this year,” Yuuri says quietly.

“But you’re coming back next year, right?”

Nobody says anything for a long minute before Yuuri asks Celestino to give the standard “ _no comment, please respect my privacy_ ” answer to anyone who asks. He nods, already on his phone as he goes back to his room, and Phichit mumbles about taking a shower before going to the rink for practice. The competition starts tomorrow and Yuuri hates that this has taken the spotlight off of a big day for Phichit; this is when he finds out if he’s qualified for the Final.

“Yuuri, you can’t-”

“I can, Viktor, if I have to.”

“But Yuuri-”

Yuuri settles Mieko on his shoulder, tucking his breast back into his shirt quickly before burping her. “Viktor, realistically, I don’t know if I could come back. I had to take this year off to recover from having Mieko, but I was already getting old, for a skater. We’re only competitive for a short time, and you know that. I would have been retiring soon anyway.” _It’s not like I was that great of a skater anyway,_ Yuuri thinks. _No one would have missed me when I was gone; no one did when I retired._

“Yuuri…” The heartbreak in Viktor’s voice makes him lift his eyes to Viktor. He looks ready to cry, a wrinkle on his forehead as he stares up at Yuuri. “Yuuri, you _can_ come back! Yes, it will be hard, but isn’t it worth it? Don’t you deserve to do what you do best, and mesmerize the audience? I’ve seen the videos of you, Yuuri. You are simply amazing.”

Yuuri lets out a snort. “My best jump is a triple axel; I can’t even do a quad fip and you’ve been doing that since you were a kid.”

“Who cares!” Viktor bursts out. “Your step sequences are textbook amazing, your spins are a thing of beauty, and the way you emote when you skate, it… it’s like something out of a fairy tale. It- I- Yuuri.”

He shakes his head, refusing to believe that someone like Living Skating Legend Viktor Nikiforov thinks he’s a decent skater. “This is my choice, Viktor. I haven’t made my mind up,” he adds when Viktor opens his mouth, “I haven’t made a decision yet, because I don’t know how things will be in a year.”

“The article says you retired.”

“I- it was never official.”

“But you want it to be.”

“All I want right now is to give Mieko the life she deserves.” Yuuri finally brings himself to look at Viktor, but his face is closed off, a press-ready smile on his lips. Yuuri hates it.

“Okay, Yuuri. Can I walk with you to the rink?”

888

The Russian team is already there when they show up, Coach Yakov shouting at Plisetsky as he skates past. A few other people are there as well, but the day has only just started and soon the rink will fill up with skaters and coaches. Everyone who will _know_ , thanks to that article. More and more websites are picking up on the story and Celestino has been fielding calls all morning. Yuuri wishes he could be anywhere but here, but if he’s serious about helping to coach, he needs to be. He doesn’t look at anyone as he walks to the edge of the rink, replying mindlessly to whatever Phichit is chatting about, trying to distract Yuuri from his thoughts. Once his skates are tied, though, he’s gone, handing the guards to Yuuri with a sad smile.

Celestino is still on the phone, even though he’s watching Phichit, so Yuuri watches him, calling out a few times when he catches a mistake. He doesn’t realize that Yakov is next to him until the older man speaks.

“Vitya says the baby is his, _da_?”

“Yes, sir, Mieko is.”

“You kept her from her father?”

Yuuri glares as the rink, unable to bring himself to look at Yakov. “I don’t really see how any of that is your business, _sir_.”

“It’s my business because Viktor is my-”

“Yuuuuuriii, Stéphane just _loved_ Mieko! Hello, Yakov! Isn't Mieko just the cutest?” Viktor appears suddenly beside them, Mieko gurgling away happily on his shoulder.

Yakov lets out a grunt, turning and yelling something at Plisetsky. Viktor chuckles and throws out something as well, which earns him a glare from both coach and fellow skater. The three of them watch the skaters, but Mieko stays in her father’s arms for most of the day. Yuuri essentially takes over coaching, because Celestino stays on the phone, handling Yuuri’s situation. No one comes up to say anything to them, but they get a lot of looks with Viktor carrying the baby around all day and Yuuri taking her for feeding whenever she gets hungry. When Phichit comes off the ice for lunch, Viktor joins them. It’s… nice, Yuuri decides. Viktor and Phichit get along well, both being social media kings, and they don’t hesitate to draw Yuuri in their conversation.

By the end of the day, Celestino looks exhausted and frustrated, but Phichit is confident in his performance, which boosts Yuuri enough that he asks Viktor if he wants to join them for dinner. The way his eyes light up does funny things to Yuuri’s stomach, funny things that turn sour when they walk out of the rink and are immediately bombarded by paparazzi, who, upon noticing them, begin snapping pictures and yelling out things so loudly and quickly that Yuuri can’t hope to understand.

Mouths set in a grim line, both Viktor and Celestino begin bulldozing their way through the crowd and Phichit wraps an arm around Yuuri and Mieko, who was sleeping in her sling but is now crying, firmly guiding them while staying very close to the other two men.

“Katsuki, is it true that you and Viktor have been having an affair for years!”

“Katsuki, is the baby even Viktor’s!”

Those two, shouted out in English, break out of the din of so many other languages, making him freeze, but Phichit tugs him along, not letting him stop to think about what was said or the reasons behind the words. A cab pulls to a stop just as they make it to the curb and Celestino hustles them all in. It’s not ideal, because Mieko isn’t in a car seat, but as Celestino points out, the paps would have just followed them if they walked, hounding their every step. As it is, when they pull up to the hotel, they’re forced through another crowd of the leeches to get inside. Yuuri catches more questions along the same lines as before and his face burns in shame. Mieko is still crying, sensing her mother’s distress, and it’s a relief to get inside the lift. The paps weren’t allowed inside the lobby, but the commotion they made had drawn stares from everyone.

“So,” Viktor starts, voice full of faux cheer, “it looks like going out for dinner is out.”

Celestino grunts, typing away on his phone, while Phichit frowns, staring down at his own screen. Yuuri is trying his best to sooth Mieko, but he’s still giving off stressed scents and it’s not helping. He wishes he could get to his medicine and silently hurries the lift along.

“Yuuri, would you and Mieko like to join me in my rooms for room service?” Viktor tries.

“Sure, that would be fine,” Yuuri mumbles, bouncing Mieko and staring at the floor numbers. Viktor sighs, a frown tugging his lips down, and offers to take her, but Yuuri refuses him for the first time. As much as he knows he’s contributing to her crying, Mieko is actually helping him center himself, breathing slowly in and out as he keeps up a steady stream of Japanese.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity to Yuuri, the lift announces their floor and they all exit. Yuuri follows Viktor to his room, fumbling in the side pocket of the diaper bag to grab his medicine now that they’re not in a small crowded box. He swallows a pill dry while Viktor opens the door and follows him inside.

Viktor’s room is at least as big as the one Yuuri is sharing with Phichit and Celestino, but it seems so much more open than theirs, with only one (giant) bed and a few couches where they only have one. Viktor gestures for him to sit and Yuuri collapses onto the couch, pulling Mieko out of the sling and laying her on his chest. She’s not crying now, her pudgy cheeks red and streaked with tears. Her eyes flutter shut, exhausted from the day and the stress of what happened, as Yuuri runs his hand over her back continuously. Viktor returns just as she falls asleep, holding the room service menu.

“Do you want something to eat?” he whispers.

“No,” Yuuri sighs, just as quietly, “but I should anyway.” Viktor nods and hands him the menu, dialing the line for room service. He rattles off Yuuri’s order and then his own, before hanging up and sitting on the end of the couch. Carefully, watching Yuuri’s face, he moves his feet into Viktor’s lap, stretching out Yuuri’s legs from where they were scrunched up.

“Can I massage your feet, Yuuri?”

“What?” Yuuri’s body is stiff, unfamiliar with what Viktor’s doing, but not adverse to the comfort of being around an alpha.

“You look tired and I’m sure your feet are hurting. I would like to massage them, if that’s okay with you.” He looks so hopeful that Yuuri can’t tell him no. The first press of a finger into his arch has Yuuri melting into the cushions and his eyes flutter close, content.

“Yuuri?”

Yuuri’s eyes fight, but he forces them to open, yawning widely.

“Yuuri, the food is here.” Viktor’s face swims above him and he blinks rapidly, trying to clear his vision until Viktor hands him his glasses.

“W’a’s gon on?” he mumbles, one hand holding Mieko in place as he brings himself to wakefulness.

“You fell asleep, but the food is here now.”

“Oh.”

Viktor carefully takes Mieko, making soothing noises when she fusses and settling her on the bed, which, upon inspection, Yuuri sees that Viktor has created a nest of sorts. Pillows are set up to block her from falling if she rolls, but there’s nothing in the middle for her to get tangled in, either. Yuuri grabs one of her blankets from his bag and lays it over Mieko; the room is a little cooler than he would normally keep it and he doesn’t want her to get cold. Then he follows the smell of food to the dining room, where Viktor is setting everything out for them to eat. There’s a lit candle in the middle of the table and Viktor had turned down the lights, giving the room a soft, almost romantic, feel.

Yuuri pushes those thoughts down, blushing. He’s reading into this too much, he’s sure. The smile Viktor sends him, so sweet and blissfully happy that Yuuri’s heart starts racing, makes those thoughts push back.

“Here, let’s eat,” Viktor says, leading Yuuri to the table and pulling out his chair. He pushes it back in once Yuuri has sat and goes around to the other side of the table. The gesture makes Yuuri think of old American movies, with the alpha wooing their chosen omega by doing sweet things like that. He harshly tells those thoughts to shut up, too.

“So, Yuuri, tell me about this offer from Celestino?”

He once again finds himself drawn into easy conversation with Viktor, discussing the coaching option and, always, Mieko. He also manages to draw Viktor out, reaching past the persona that he puts on for everyone else and allowing him to see Viktor as he really is. He’s sweet, dorky, and he makes Yuuri laugh with silly impressions. They talk for a few hours, until Mieko wakes up and Yuuri realizes the time.

“I should get back to our room,” he says as he packs up the diaper bag after changing Mieko. “I, uh… thank you, Viktor, for tonight. I-I really enjoyed spending time with you.” He smiles up bashfully at Viktor, who cups his cheek and tilts his face up fully.

“I enjoyed spending time with you as well, Yuuri-kun.” The familiar words send a shiver down Yuuri’s spine. “Yuuri, may I kiss you?”

_Forget shivers, I’m going to melt!_

“Viktor-”

Mieko chooses that moment to let out a cry and Viktor takes a step back from where he had pressed in close to Yuuri. Mieko had obviously not enjoyed almost being squished. Yuuri bounces her a little, looking regretfully at Viktor, who is staring wide-eyed at him, nostrils flared, as though trying to rein himself in. “Um, we should be going, it’s bed time,” he finally says, breaking the silence between them.

“Yes, of course. Can I walk you to your room?”

“Viktor, we’re literally four doors down.”

“Yuuri, please, I insist.”

Who is Yuuri to say no, after all?

The night does not end with a kiss, at least not the one Yuuri thought he was about to get, but another one pressed to his cheek before Yuuri enters his room and Viktor walks back to his.

888

The next morning, the short programs start, but Yuuri hardly notices. More people around means more people to coo over a baby and, while Yuuri would normally be happy to show Mieko off, he’s terrified that someone is going to mention Viktor or the article. With the pictures the paps snapped of them yesterday, the gossip has only grown.

Before his panic can ratchet up further, an unlikely hero swoops in, storming over to Yuuri and making the crowd part like the Red Sea. “I hear you have a kid now,” Yuri Plisetsky sneers, but his eyes betray him as he looks at Mieko.

“Uh, yes, this is Mieko,” Yuuri says, only just managing not to stutter horrifically.

“She’s cute, I guess. Doesn’t look like she enjoys crowds too much,” Yuri snaps at the people who are, in fact, too close for comfort. Under his glare, they dissipate, however, until it’s just the two of them. “Is she really Viktor’s?” Yuri asks quietly. Yuuri can only nod. “What are you doing out of here, get in the coach’s area, _pridurok_ , the baby does not need to be around all these disgusting germy things.”

He tries to look irritated, but Yuuri sees the glances he keeps throwing at Mieko as he leads him backstage and over to where Celestino and Phichit are going through Phichit’s pre-show warmups.

“Keep better track of your idiot,” he says rudely before storming over to Yakov, who is yelling at Viktor in very loud Russian. As soon as Plisetsky joins them, Viktor turns, beaming at Yuuri and waving. He joins them when Phichit is called to warm up, taking Mieko when she reaches for him. He stays by their side all day and joins them in a cab once again when the paparazzi are again set up at the exit. They eat with Phichit and Celestino that night, and Viktor is back to his effortlessly charming persona. He kisses both Mieko and Yuuri goodnight. It’s surreal to Yuuri and Phichit has no qualms about teasing him until Yuuri calmly hands Mieko to Celestino and tackles his friend onto a bed, both of them laughing as they playfully wrestle.

888

Phichit wins silver, because he’s amazing, narrowly losing gold to Yuri Plisetsky. He claims it’s because Yuuri and Mieko were there to cheer him on, but Mieko was asleep for most of the day and there’s nothing magical or special about Yuuri.

Which is why he can’t understand why Viktor keeps spending time around him. Sure, he could write it off as him wanting to get to know his daughter, but the night before the free skate, Viktor had privately asked Phichit if he would watch Mieko for a while and took Yuuri out to a very high-end restaurant. Without the baby there the way she had been every time before, acting as a buffer, Yuuri was sure there wasn’t going to be much to talk about, but to his surprise, the conversation flowed easily. Viktor had a way of pulling stories out of Yuuri and by the end of the night, Yuuri felt like Viktor now knew all of him.

And yet.

Yuuri was still waiting. Because there had not been the slightest hint that Viktor was angry at him, and surely he was? A baby was a huge secret to keep from someone, particularly an alpha, but Viktor had done nothing but fawn over him, and Mieko, very obviously trying to spend as much time with the two of them as possible before they were to part. Yuuri still isn’t sure if he’s going to take the job in Detroit, but either way, the timezone differences will make everything more difficult for everyone involved.

They stay after the competition to celebrate Yuuri’s birthday. When Viktor finds out that it falls two days after the competition ends, he changes his plane ticket, whining about Yuuri keeping secrets from him, and Celestino treats them to dinner and ice cream, the same way he always had in Detroit. He always complained it was too cold for ice cream in November, but he always eats pistachio gelato at the table across from them, smiling indulgently, and this year is no different. Mieko gets a taste, purely by accident, hand slamming into Yuuri’s bowl and immediately bringing the dark chocolate to her lips before Yuuri can react. The look on her face is priceless, however, eyes round as the cold hits her. She’s a mess, the whole table laughing as she stares in wonder, as Viktor reaches into the diaper bag, still giggling, and efficiently cleans her off. Yuuri stares and his inner omega whines with arousal he didn’t think was possible just from watching someone clean a baby.

Phichit nudges him, smirking as Yuuri’s mouth snaps closed. His stupid perfect eyebrows wiggle suggestively at Yuuri, his eyes flicking back and forth between him and Viktor, who is telling Mieko that she shouldn’t grab ice cream. His voice is full of laughter and his eyes… they shine as they watch Mieko try to grab Viktor’s own ice cream. Yuuri’s heart clenches in his chest when he realizes that tomorrow, they all leave, everyone to different corners of the globe. When will Viktor be able to see Mieko again?

“Yuuri, can I talk to you?” Viktor asks as the group of them walk back to the hotel. He’s carrying Mieko again, seemingly loath to put her down for any longer than necessary. Yuuri nods, dropping back to walk at a more sedate pace. Mieko sleeps away, curled up on Viktor’s shoulder.

“Yuuri, I know that you’ve… struggled, especially with me being around so much the past few days. Even,” his breath hitches, “even if you don’t want to see me again, I would still very much like to at least see Mieko, if you’ll let me. She- I don’t want to be kept out of her life again, now that I know she is a life.” The look he gives Yuuri is imploring, even in the dark of twilight. “Please, don’t keep her away from me again.”

 _Even if I don’t want to see him?_ Yuuri thinks, bewildered. Now that Viktor knows, that he’s obviously very attached to Mieko and she to him, Yuuri isn't sure he could ever keep them apart for very long. But how could Viktor think that he didn’t want to see him? Did he not realize that Yuuri idolized him, and had for many years?

“Viktor, I wouldn’t keep Mieko from you. I was always planning on telling you… eventually. I just- I thought-” The words flounder, any sense of articulation he might have leaving him as he tries to explain things to Viktor. He grasps at the words, clenches them in an iron fist, and says, “I think we need to talk.”

Viktor stares at him for a moment before he smiles. “Would you like to come back to my room?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda hate where this left off at??? But the chapter was long because awkward breaks all around, so I just went with it.
> 
> I'm trying to write chapter seven and my brain is like HOW TO WORDS so I'm hoping the comments on the fic will inspire me like they have so far (psst it's partially y'all's fault this is so long because you people give me so many ideas) so another early update for you guys!
> 
> Oh, by the way, feel free to come yell at me on tumblr. I know I said I'm not on there much, but I do check it and you can always send me a message!


	6. Papa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: should I go ahead and post this chapter early or just sit on it?  
> zane: surprise em
> 
> So, really, you should thank zavocado for this even-earlier-than-usual update.

Mieko wakes up while they’re taking off shoes and coats and Viktor hands her off easily when she begins to cry.

“I can wait in the other room if you prefer privacy,” he tells Yuuri, but Yuuri doesn’t want to wait to have this conversation and, really, he needs to be comfortable around Viktor and needs to able to show it after what Viktor had said about Yuuri struggling around him.

“No, it’s okay, if you’re okay with it.” They settle on one of the couches and Yuuri pulls out his breast, letting Mieko latch and begin feeding before looking back at Viktor. “I think that there has been some misunderstandings. Will you tell me your side of the story from… that morning? You said there was a note?”

Viktor nods and Yuuri can tell he desperately wants to look down at Mieko. At Yuuri’s breast, partially exposed as she feeds. A faint hint of arousal drifts towards Yuuri, but he ignores it; there are more important things right now. “Yes. I had an early plane, but I really liked you, Yuuri. Not just because of the sex, but you seemed like such a fun person at the banquet. I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn’t wake you up to tell you I was leaving, so I wrote a note and put it on the table next to you, under your glasses. I explained about the flight and,” Yuuri is shocked to see that Viktor’s cheeks tinge pink, “how I had a good time the night before and for you to call me. Not because I thought you were easy,” he quickly defends, “but because, well, like I said, I-I liked being around you. You made me feel… alive… for the first time in so long.”

He reaches forward, taking Yuuri’s hand in his. His fingers trace along Yuuri’s veins before he clasps them together. “I… Yuuri, I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to just know Mieko, I want to know you, know everything that you’ll give me. I’ve seen the way you’ve struggled to be around me and if there’s anything I can do to fix, well, whatever I’ve done wrong, please tell me.”

 _His eyes are so blue_ , Yuuri thinks as he stares at them, a foot from his face. _Here goes nothing._

“I’m afraid.” The rest of what he wants to say gets caught in his throat.

“Of me?”

“No. Yes. I don’t- I’m waiting.”

“For what, Yuuri?”

“For you to… to get mad.”

“Mad?”

“At me.”

Viktor’s eyes widen in shock. “Yuuri, why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I kept everything a secret!” The words, once they burst free from his chest, fly through the air and release a stream. Yuuri tells Viktor everything, every fear he’s had since he first woke up alone, in a cold hotel room in Russia, with only the memory of the night drifting like a dream around him. Had he been a bad omega? Had he ruined everything by not being on birth control? Did Viktor hate him for not telling him?

“Oh, god, Yuuri, no, of course not!” Viktor says earnestly. Mieko has long fallen asleep by now, again laying on the bed surrounded by pillows so she won’t fall off, and Viktor glances guiltily at the bed before lowering his voice. “I could never hate you! I will admit, I was not happy when I found out, but Mieko… she’s worth so much more than me being petty about it. Watching her, and you with her, I didn’t want to be angry. I’m sad, of course, because I would have loved to be there, to help you through the pregnancy and be at the hospital when she was born, but I sort of understand why you did what you did.”

Yuuri bursts into tears and allows Viktor to gather him to his chest. They sit there for a long time while Yuuri cries out his anxiety, his fear, his _relief_ because Viktor doesn’t hate him, Viktor even said he understood, at least as much as he could. Yuuri can tell that Viktor is releasing calming pheromones and he doesn’t try to stop the smile on his face. It helps, and the combination of the cathartic cry and smell of _alpha_ add to the weight of a long day. Yuuri dozes, nearly jostling out of sleep when Viktor stands and carries him to the bed. He attempts a sleepy protest, but Viktor tells him to go back to sleep.

“Stay,” he manages to get out, catching Viktor’s sleeve when he goes to walk away. He can’t see Viktor’s face, but he watches as he walks around to the other side of the bed, discarding his shirt and laying down. Mieko is sandwiched between them and Yuuri reaches over her to grasp Viktor’s hand. He drifts into sleep with Viktor’s fingers once again tracing along the back of his hand and over his fingers.

888

_The Coolest Guy U No:  
yuuri u slut im so proud but also were leaving so get ur ass ova hur_

_Fucking Phichit_ , Yuuri groans as he reads the text that woke him up. Mieko has been sleeping for larger blocks of time at night now, so Yuuri sleeps for as long as he can when she does. She’s fussing now, also awoken by that stupid text. Viktor stirs and his silver head pops up over the pillows.

“What’s wrong?” Though, with his accent, the words are thick and almost unintelligible.

“Phichit just text me, we have to get to the airport soon.” Yuuri stands and is shocked when Viktor very nearly shoots up out of the bed.

“Yuuri, wait-”

He stares, wide-eyed, because Viktor looks frantic now. “Viktor?”

Viktor darts around the bed and takes both of Yuuri’s hands in his. “Don’t leave, please.”

“I have to, I already booked-”

“No, don’t leave me, please. I’ll pay for you to come to Russia with me, we can be together and Mieko will be with both of us. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Viktor…” Yuuri would be ashamed of how breathless that came out, but he’s not sure he’s actually awake right now. Surely this is a dream? “I-I can’t, I have… family, a life, maybe a job if I work for Coach Celestino. I want to train to go back on the ice again, to compete. I can’t just… drop everything! I-”

“I’ll train you! I’ll- you can work with Yakov, he’d take you on, your step sequences are amazing and you could help out the team with that. Everyone says we rely too much on technicality, he’d take you on, I know he would.”

Once again ignoring the idea that _Viktor thinks that his step sequences are good_ , Yuuri shakes his head. “Viktor, I… I don’t know.”

 _Yuuri’s_ heart breaks at the look of devastation on Viktor’s face. “Yuuri-”

“I can’t, I have to- I can’t think right now.” Yuuri rushes to grab his things and plucks the crying Mieko off of the bed. He takes one last look at Viktor’s face and leans in, kissing his cheek. “Give me some time, please, Vicchan.”

The door closing behind him sounds too much like an opportunity lost.

888

The trip home is blissfully stress free for the most part. The paps had run off after the next big scandal the day after the free skate, so getting to the airport is easy, though telling his best friend and his coach goodbye isn’t. Phichit cuddles and coos at Mikeo while Yuuri and Celestino say goodbye. He hasn’t asked Yuuri about his decision on coaching yet and Yuuri is grateful. After what Viktor had said that morning, his mind was a whirl and he’s pretty sure that if Celestino even mentioned it at this point, Yuuri would cry. It’s all too much right now and Yuuri pushes it all down for the time being.

Celestino takes Mieko so that Phichit and Yuuri can embrace tightly. Yuuri buries his face into Phichit’s shoulder as he clings to him. “Yuuri, whatever’s bothering you, you know you can tell me,” Phichit whispers. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

Yuuri squeezes his eyes shut as he replies, “I’ll tell you later, not here.”

“Okay.” That’s why he’s Yuuri’s best friend, after all. Never any pressure.

They part so that Phichit and Celestino can go to their own terminal, further away from Yuuri’s domestic flight terminal, and the rest of the day goes smoothly. Yuuri collapses into his bed the moment he gets home, his mother taking Mieko the moment she arrives and Yuuri, for once, is perfectly fine with the help. He’s exhausted and immediately falls asleep until Hiriko comes in a few hours later. Mieko is crying and Yuuri sits up to take her. She latches onto his nipple easy enough, settling down.

Hiriko passes him his glasses and his phone when he asks for it before saying, “I’m glad you’re home, Yuu-chan,” and ducking out of the door.  
Yuuri smiles, because so is he, before checking his email. There’s are the random ones he ignores, but there are two that draw his attention. One is from Celestino, sent earlier that morning, and the other is from Yakov, which makes Yuuri’s eyes widen in surprise and he opens that one first.

_Mr. Katsuki._

_Viktor informed me that you were looking into coaching opportunities now that you are retired. It would greatly benefit the Russian team to have someone with your style join us. Enclosed is a contract for you to look over and sign._

_Regards,_

_Yakov Feltsman_

The email is short, which matches Yakov, Yuuri thinks, but the contract sent to him is detailed. The yearly salary makes his eyes bug; it’s nearly three times what the Detroit skate club is offering, plus travel expenses. It’s a really good offer, particularly for someone who has no coaching experience at all, but Yuuri sees the strings that come with it as well, the ones Viktor pulled to get him this job.

He opens Celestino’s email.

_Yuuri,_

_Thank you for spending your time with us at the NHK. While it was good to see you again, it was also a good way for me to see how you work, especially considering Phichit is your friend. You treated him like a pupil on the ice and maintained your professionalism after the initial shock of seeing Nikiforov there. That was very impressive, knowing what I know about your mental health history, and professional, even if I hadn’t known._

_I know you’re still conflicted about coming out to Detroit, but I still sincerely think that you would make a valuable asset to our team. Please, still consider coming out. The club misses you._

_Ciao Ciao_

The two messages could not be more different in tone, but conflict still rages in Yuuri chest. Does he want to go back to Detroit, a place that is like a second home to him, filled with familiar faces? Or should he follow Viktor to Russia, where he knows no one and nothing, with only a passable fluency in the language? But Mieko would be with both of her parents, and isn’t that important, too?

Once Mieko is settled in for the night, he recruits his mother to watch her and slips on his trainers, bag over his shoulders as he heads down the familiar route to the Ice Castle. It’s hours later when he begins his trek home, too late in the night for a phone call, but that’s what he finds himself doing anyway.

“Yuuri?” Viktor’s voice is muffled over the line, heavy with sleep.

“I’m sorry for waking you.”

“No, no, it’s okay, you can always call me. Are you okay? Is Mieko?” His voice turns frantic at the end and Yuuri can hear covers rustling.

“Everything is okay, I promise, we’re- it’s fine. No, I just.” Yuuri inhales, gathering up his courage. “I got an interesting email today.”

“Oh?”

“From your coach. Viktor-”

“Yuuri, please, I know that you think it’s me pulling strings, but when I spoke to Yakov-”

“Viktor, this is pulling strings. It- It hurts me to think that you think I can’t get such a thing on my own. I wanted to go to Detroit, not because it was getting away, but because it’s somewhere I know, I have my own skate club that’s familiar.”

“I understand that, and I do think that you can get this job on your own. Yakov wouldn’t have sent you an email if he didn’t honestly like what he saw. I don’t have _that_ much sway over him. I understand that you want somewhere familiar, but I also don’t want to lose you, or Mieko.”

“I told you, I’m not going to keep you from Mieko. I know I ran out of the hotel room this morning, but, please, understand that you pushed that on me so quickly, it was so much to take in in such a short time. I needed time to think, I couldn’t just make that decision on the fly, not when there’s a child involved! That’s why Celestino had me in Sapporo in the first place, to give me the chance to see if I could handle things with her. He never once pressured me to make my decision and I feel like that’s what you were trying to do this morning.”

There’s a sigh over the line and more rustling. Yuuri keeps his pace steady as he walks home, though he is overcome with the want to start running again. “You’re right, I was pushing my own desires on you. I just… I only just found out about Mieko and I only just found you again. Yuuri, I don’t think you understand what it meant to me, when I saw you, and then I saw Mieko. It’s like… my whole world reordered itself. I’d been looking for you for almost a _year_ , Yuuri. And then I find out that I have a child? It hurt, that you kept that from me. It still hurts, knowing that you didn’t have plans to seek me out and _tell_ me about her.”

“Viktor-”

“No, Yuuri, I need to tell you this. I’m not mad at you. I know we talked about this, I know I told you I wasn’t mad, and I’m not, but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t so incredibly hurt by what you did. I can’t pretend I really understand all of the reasons behind it, because I’m not you and I wasn’t there, and maybe that’s partially my fault, I should have tried harder to reach out to you, but you didn’t call me, you didn’t text. I thought that meant that, that that night was just a joke to you or something like that. You caught my attention and then dropped it when you got what you wanted. I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to talk to me. So I let it go, and when I saw you again, I realized there was more going on. And then you told me about your anxiety and the thought that you were a bad omega, and I understood a little more. You didn’t call or text because you didn’t get the note, but you also didn’t try to reach out to me because you thought you had done something wrong.

“But things are different now. I know about everything and you know that it was nothing that you did wrong that night. I want to be involved in Mieko’s life and that means you can’t go around making decisions that involve Mieko without me. I _want_ to be there for her _and_ for you. You’re not alone anymore. If you want to go to Detroit, fine, but _let me_ be a part of that decision-making process. Don’t just discard my options because you’re so used to being the only person making decisions, that’s all I’m asking. _Talk_ to me, like an adult, and let’s figure this out as co-parents.”

Yuuri is in tears by the time Viktor is finished. He was right, Yuuri knew. He had been ignoring the fact that everything he did affected Viktor as well, now that he knew and wanted to be a part of Mieko’s life. Maybe it was time to start talking and stop trying to do everything himself.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, let’s talk about this. And… Viktor? For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. For everything. I wasn’t being fair to you, I’ve just spent so long doing everything myself that I guess I sort of forgot that you’re here and you should have a say. So.” Yuuri takes a deep breath. “So let’s talk about what I should do. Together. Co-parents in an equal partnership, right?

There’s a smile in Viktor’s voice when he says, “Right."

888

 _Detroit smells the same_ , Yuuri thinks as he steps off of the plane, one hand dragging his bag behind him and the other full of Mieko’s baby carrier. She’s struggling to get out and Yuuri talks to her as he walks to the checked baggage claim. Most of their stuff is being shipped, scheduled to arrive in three days, but Yuuri still has two bags of necessities he needed to take on the airplane for them. He had sent Phichit a text as soon as he had been able to take his phone off of airplane mode, but he hadn’t heard back from him by the time he made it through customs, something that was never an enjoyable experience, made less so by the fact that he had a crying baby where he hadn’t before. He steps past the customs agents booth, carefully wheeling his suitcase with Mieko’s empty carrier balanced on top, and bouncing Mieko slightly.

“Yuuri!” Phichit yells, and he’s nearly bowled over by his friend, who only just manages to keep them from falling.

“Phichit-kun! I thought you had to practice? I told you I would take a cab.”

“Like I would let you take a cab,” someone else says, prying Phichit off and smiling at Yuuri.

“Lena! How are you?”

She laughs, tucking hair behind her ear. “Celestino couldn’t make it, Jeff is freaking out, so he asked me to take this one to come pick you up.” Her brown eyes flick to Mieko, who is crying steadily. “Do you need some help with her?”

“She just got tired of sitting in her carrier and you know it’s never fun for your ears in a plane,” Yuuri explains. “She might be hungry, too, I can’t really tell after all those time zones.”

“Feed her and we’ll grab your bags,” Phichit says, tugging the one from Yuuri’s hand. “She’s more important.”

“No, I can’t ask you-”

“LALALA, YOU’RE NOT ASKING, I’M TELLING YOU,” Phichit yells, walking towards Yuuri’s baggage claim area. He exchanges exasperated looks with Lena before letting his chest out so that he can feed Mieko, who takes a minute of soothing before she latches. She sniffles as he makes his way over to where Phichit is waiting, her tiny fist grabbing his breast and clenching the flesh. Her nails need to be trimmed, he realizes, wincing as they dig into into him. He points out his two bags to Phichit as they make their rounds and it’s not long before they’re loading into Lena’s fuchsia GEO and heading to his and Phichit’s old apartment. Christmas decorations line the streets and Yuuri thinks idly about Viktor’s birthday. It’s a week away, but Yuuri won’t be able to see him.

Since he and Viktor had agreed that now wasn't the best time for Yuuri to move to Russia, the other man had been quiet, and whenever they spoke on video chat so that Viktor could see Mieko, he looked sad. They had spoken long into that night, and had come to an agreement. Yuuri was going to take Mieko to Russia in a couple of months for a long stay with Viktor once the season started slowing down, and until then, they would video chat every night. He had made it clear to Viktor that he was more than welcome to visit America whenever, though they both knew it would be tough with all of the competitions going on at this point. The arrangement wasn't ideal by any means, because after spending so much time together at the NHK, Yuuri missed Viktor. His smell, his presence, everything, but Yuuri needed to prove to himself that he could do this, he could get a job on his own merit and not rely on Viktor’s strings. He needed to prove to himself that his coaching was contributing to more, and he would never feel that way in Russia, not right now, not without some actual experience under his belt.

Lena helps them carry Yuuri and Mieko’s stuff up the stairs and then bids them goodbye after Yuuri thanks her profusely and pushes some of her favorite Japanese candy into her hands. The apartment hasn’t changed, the same one-room dump they’ve had since the year after Yuuri arrived, but it’s just as much like coming home as Hasetsu was. Phichit has already set up their old Christmas tree, saved from the trash heap and set up every year. This year, instead of an angel on top, Phichit has placed his silver medal from the NHK Trophy. Yuuri laughs when he sees this, stepping up to brush his fingers against the cool metal.

“I’m really proud of you, you know,” Yuuri says. “Fourth place in the GPF on your first go is pretty amazing.”

Phichit laughs, shaking his head. “I was terrified, but it was a lot of fun, so that’s all that really matters.”

Yuuri can’t remembers the last time he had _fun_ skating. Everything has been pressure for so long as he strove to do better and better that the very concept of ‘fun on the ice’ was now foreign to him. He remembers when he was a kid, first starting out on the ice at Minako’s insistence, the joy of the blades against the ice, the practice sessions with Yuuko, everything that brought him here. He remembers the feeling, but can’t remember the last time he felt that way about the ice.

Of course, he doesn’t tell Phichit this, just goes along with it. His body aches with tiredness, but he forces both himself and Mieko to stay up so they can adjust to Detroit’s time with more ease. Phichit is endlessly helpful, keeping Mieko entertained and fixing Yuuri a strong cup of coffee when he starts nodding off. He normally wouldn’t drink caffeine because of breast feeding, but figures any caffeine that makes it through the milk couldn’t hurt over these next few days while they adjust.

Before they go to bed, only a little too early, Yuuri boots up his computer and calls Viktor, the same way he had every night since Sapparo. Viktor waves, blowing kisses to Mieko as they chat.

“Are you settling into Detroit okay?” Viktor asks after a few minutes of back and forth babbling with Mieko.

“Yeah, Phichit and one of the other coaches picked us up from the airport, so I didn’t have to fight for a cab or anything.”

“Good, good, that’s… good.” Viktor looks distracted and Yuuri frowns.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. No. I don’t- Look, I was trying to think of a way to say this without it sounding insulting, but Yuuri, I would like to help support Mieko by paying for, ah, what do they call it in America? Child support?”

“What?”

“Is that not the right word? Raising a baby is expensive, and I know you didn’t want to come here right now, but I want to help in any way that I can. I planned on setting up an account at a bank in America and giving you the card. I’ll put money into it every month to help pay for her needs.”

“Viktor, I can’t-”

“Yuuri, remember when I said I wanted to be a part of Mieko’s life?” Viktor snaps suddenly. He stops, sighing before rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that, I’m just tired. I want to do this, please, for both of you. I know we talked about everything and we both agreed that Detroit is better for you right now, but it’s hard for me. I love both of you, I hate that you’re not here, and I want to do something to help you because I know that babies are very expensive.”

Yuuri stares wide-eyed at this. He’s never heard Viktor snap at anyone before, not in all of the years he’s followed Viktor’s career. “No, I’m sorry, Viktor. I shouldn’t have tried to brush it aside. We talked about this, equal partnership, and that means I need to learn to accept help.”

Viktor nods, his face pixelating briefly. “I’m trying, Yuuri, I really am.”

“I know, and so am I.”

They talk for a little longer and Viktor gives him some details about the bank he’s found for the money. Yuuri still feels awkward about the whole thing, but he knows that it means a lot to Viktor. If Viktor was willing to let Yuuri take their daughter all the way to America, then the very least Yuuri can do is accept any bit of help Viktor is willing to offer. Yuuri just hates feeling like a charity case.

The next morning, when he tells Phichit, his friend rolls his eyes. “I doubt he meant it as charity, Yuuri. I haven’t seen a single thing he’s done as an act of charity; he wants what’s best for you and for Mieko and you’re making it hard on him.” Phichit shrugs when Yuuri frowns at him. “Just give him a chance, that’s all I’m saying. He seems to really care about you, Yuuri, and I don’t think it’s just because you had his kid,” Phichit adds when Yuuri opens his mouth.

Yuuri closes his mouth. Opens it again, but words don’t come out. He shakes his head, because Phichit must be reading into this whole thing between him and Viktor. His mind wanders back to Sapporo and everything that’s happened since.

Viktor staring at Yuuri and saying, _Yuuri, may I kiss you?_

Viktor holding him as he cries in relief.

Viktor begging him not to leave, to go with him to Russia.

Viktor talking to Yuuri about what job offer he should take, the pros and cons and Yuuri’s feelings about both places, and not arguing when it’s Detroit instead of Russia.

Viktor, angry when Yuuri refuses his help once again.

Was he ever going to stop hurting Viktor? He had kept secrets, turned him down, turned him away, time after time, because he didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, but in doing so had created a whole new problem for himself. His quest for independence would end in loneliness if he didn’t change.

He skates out his issues after hours at the rink. Phichit had demanded time with his goddaughter after practice and had whisked her away the moment she stopped eating. Yuuri doesn’t officially start assisting with coaching until after Christmas, since the rink was closed and most members of the club were either already gone or would be soon, ready to join their families. Yuuri could have waited, could have spent the holiday with his family, but the holiday isn’t celebrated the same way here as it is in Japan. He would rather be here, giving both him and Mieko more time to adjust to the different timezone, than there. Besides, he and Phichit had their own Christmas tradition of silly presents, terrible movies, and the best-worst takeaway they could find.

For a few hours, all that Yuuri feels, he lets out on the ice, puts into old routines, practiced over and over so that even now, years later, he still remembers them. He can’t do jumps like he used to, still getting his core muscles strengthened after Mieko’s birth, but singles and the occasional double are not really a problem. He skates, and skates, and skates, until he’s panting with exhaustion. He hasn’t spent so long on the ice in nearly a year, his trips to Ice Castle often cut short by caring for a newborn, but the burn in his abdomen and the weak shaking of his legs feels good and he slides off of the ice with a clearer head than he started with.

The jog back to the apartment is nice, as well, the light movements keeping his legs from going out completely. He’ll regret everything in the morning, he’s sure, but for now, it’s nice. Like his skating time, any time he’s tried to exercise has been cut short by Mieko. It helped that he did light workouts while pregnant, but if, like he told Viktor, he plans to make a comeback, he’ll need to go harder and soon. The words had been blurted out in the moment, but that’s how Yuuri knows he meant them. He _does_ want to come back, he wants to prove himself after the previous year’s Grand Prix, and he’s going to do his damnedest to make it to the podium.

Pushing open the apartment door, Yuuri is surprised that Phichit and Mieko are not in the living room. He eats the food Phichit left for him in the microwave and heads into the bedroom to see the two of them curled up on Phichit’s bed, sound asleep. Yuuri grabs his phone, quickly snapping a picture. On a whim, he signs into Instagram and uploads it.

[image.jpeg]  
**y-katsuki** _This is what I came back to #traitors #TheyreCuteThough @phichit+chu_

Shockingly, the likes and comments come pouring in almost immediately. He doesn’t read them, because he made a promise to Phichit and Celestino early on not to so he wouldn’t obsess over anything bad, but when Viktor’s name pops up in his notifications, he scrambles to read it.

 **v-nikiforov** _Aw, she’s so cute! I miss your beautiful faces <3 Tell @phichit+chu not to steal all of my cuddles!!!_

Yuuri’s heart thumps in his chest and, without thinking, he brings up the video chat and calls Viktor.

“Yuuri!” Viktor is beaming at him, but he keeps his voice down.

“Hey, Viktor,” Yuuri murmurs back. He glances at the other bed before quietly leaving the room and settling on the couch. “How are you?”

He listens as Viktor chatters, telling him about his rink mates and some prank that he and Mila had pulled on Plisetsky, inane things about his day. Makkachin is there and he introduces her to Yuuri, who coos at the phone.

“Listen, Viktor, about yesterday, I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Yuuri says when the conversation begins to wind down.

“For what?”

“I… I still feel like I’m a charity case to you.”

“Oh, Yuuri. I know you’re very independant and you don’t like handouts, but I really want to help with Mieko. It’s already not easy for you and I want to do anything I can to make it so you have just a little less of a burden on you. Maybe I could have brought it up a different way or something-”

“Viktor, I don’t think there’s any way you could have brought it up to me that I wouldn’t have bristled at. I-” Yuuri pauses, taking a deep breath. It’s not easy to admit your faults. “I’ve never been good at accepting help from people, especially not with money. It’s nothing to do with you, it’s just how I’ve always been, and I didn’t want to be your charity or something. I know that’s not how you meant it, and Phichit called me out on it, but that’s just how I always feel.”

“Oh, Yuuri…”

“I’m also sorry that I chose Detroit over Russia, because I know how much it hurt you, but I still think it’s a good idea. I miss you, though.”

Viktor lights up at those words and the knot in Yuuri’s chest loosens, feeling for the first time that may Viktor doesn’t hate the choice he made for his career. He might not be able to give Viktor what he wants, might not be able to move to Russia just yet, but this little bit will help. Viktor is more open after that, a bit of tension Yuuri didn’t notice before falling away as he talks, asking Yuuri questions and once again pulling silly stories out of him until a cry in the bedroom cuts them off.

“I have to go, she’s probably hungry,” Yuuri says as he stands up, stretching his sore muscles for a second before walking towards the bedroom. Phichit meets him halfway, yawning as he hands off Mieko and, with a wave towards Viktor, strips off his shirt and goes back to bed. She stops crying for a second when she hears Viktor’s voice, her big blue eyes blinking at the tiny screen before she lets out another cry.

“Say goodbye to your papa,” Yuuri says. He hears Viktor’s breath catch and looks up, realizing what he’s said. He’s never called Viktor ‘papa’ before, only ever referred to him as Mieko’s father. The look on Viktor’s face means everything at that moment.

Before he can stutter anything out, Viktor tells Mieko, “Goodnight, _solnyshko_ , Papa loves you. Goodnight, Yuuri.”

“Goodnight, Viktor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **EDIT: As in I edited the chapter. It was pointed out to me how unfair I was being, and, yeah, I get that. I feel like I'm only telling one half of the story and it doesn't always come across right, because _I_ know what's going on in their heads, but I forget that not everyone else does. So I added some and I hope this makes more people satisfied. If not, well, I'm sorry.**
> 
>  
> 
> "Yuuri, you slut. I'm so proud." I stole from RC_McLachlan's notes in their fic "Full" which is just wanky and hilarious and I love it.
> 
> If anyone knows Yuuri's actual insta name, please let me know, I couldn't find it.
> 
> Also want to point out that I'm well aware that he probably couldn't do many, if any, jumps at five months postpartum after a c-section, but this is also a work of fiction, so I do what I want. But that's also why I downgraded his jumps to singles with the occasional double. I'm going with the theory that he gained back a lot of muscle memory because we all know that Yuuri skates when he's anxious/needs to work things out mentally/as an escape, and at this point, Mieko has settled into a better sleep schedule and Yuuri is comfortable leaving her with his mom for a few hours when he needs some time. If you're more knowledgeable than me in these things, let me know! Constructive criticism is invaluable and always welcome.
> 
> I constantly feel like I'm rambling in the fic when there's so much going on in it, so if it's redundant or anything, call my ass out.


	7. Schastlivoye Rozhdestvo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten points if you catch the Supernatural reference!!!

Three days before Christmas, their annual viewing of Home Alone is interrupted by a knock on the door.

“I’ve got it,” Yuuri says, heaving himself off of the couch and passing Mieko to Phichit. He digs his wallet out to pay the delivery guy but, when he opens the door, he’s shocked to find a blur running into him.

“YUUUUURIIIIII.”

“V-Viktor?!” His mouth gets caught with a few silvery strands, but with his arms trapped by Viktor’s hug, he’s unable to remove them.

“Yuuri, your apartment is so cute,” Viktor says in awe, finally pulling away and looking around. He spots Mieko and Phichit in the living room and rushes in there. “Mieko, sweet baby.” He takes her from Phichit and immediately starts talking to her in Russian.

“Viktor, what’s going on?” Yuuri asks, closing the door after checking to see if the delivery man is somewhere nearby.

“Oh, I wanted to surprise you by coming out!” Viktor is positively beaming at him as he holds Mieko close. “Everyone else goes home to their families, so I decided to fly out to see you and Mieko.”

Yuuri doesn’t ask why Viktor doesn’t spend the time with his family; his estrangement from his mother is well-known in the skating world. He also doesn’t point out the fact that Christmas isn’t celebrated the same way in Russia, so it doesn’t really make sense for Viktor to have time off from skating. “Uhm, not that you’re not welcome here, but we don’t really have space for anyone to stay with us. Phichit and I share a room, even.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Viktor laughs, “I have a hotel not far from here! I wouldn’t want to impose on you.” His eyes crinkle, he’s smiling so hard, and Yuuri is not going to put a damper on that.

“Well, we’re waiting for dinner to be delivered, you’re welcome to share with us,” Yuuri says. Viktor’s smile softens that that and he holds Mieko closer.

“Thank you, Yuuri, I would like that.”

“Great, now can we finish watching the movie? Kevin is about to throw the paint cans, this is my favorite part,” Phichit exclaims. “And don’t think you’re going to hoard all the baby cuddles, Nikiforov,” he adds, pointing a stern finger at Viktor, who laughs again.

“I would never, but I have missed my sweet girl.” Mieko looks perfectly content in her papa’s arms, one tiny hand grasping his long finger and trying to stick it in her mouth.

“Sorry, she’s starting to teethe, I think,” Yuuri says, settling next to Phichit. “Everything goes right into her mouth.”

“You just want something to gnaw on, don’t you, _solnyshko_ ,” he coos at her, completely ignoring the drool sliding down his fingers. He starts talking to her quietly in Russian while Phichit starts the movie back up, only to have to pause it almost immediately when there’s a knock on the door, looking annoyed. Yuuri goes again, this time handing the money to the delivery guy and setting up the food on the kitchen counter. 

“Viktor, do you have a preference of pizza? We only ordered a pepperoni and a supreme.”

“Oh, I’ll come get something, you don’t have to-” He starts to get up, but Phichit waves him off.

“You’ve got baby duty, rules are the one with the baby gets to have food brought to them,” he says as he makes his way to the kitchen. “What do you want?”

Viktor shrugs, “I’ll take whatever you guys don’t eat, I’m not overly picky.”

Yuuri sighs in slight annoyance, because that’s not very helpful, but puts two slices of each type of pizza on two plates. Phichit grabs his own and an extra glass filled with ice, carrying them into the living room while Yuuri following behind with the two plates and the soda they had also ordered. He passes one to Viktor, who has maneuvered Mieko into a different position, before sitting down on the armchair. “I wasn’t sure which one you would rather have, so I brought both. Do you want Coke or something else?” He holds up the bottle and immediately feels stupid. Viktor knows what Coke is.

“No, the soda is fine.”

“Does she eat solid foods yet?” Viktor asks as he tries to eat without letting Mieko grab the slice.

“No, they don’t usually suggest solid foods for breastfed babies until around a year, since they get all of their nutrients from the milk. I mean, there’s always exceptions, but her doctor hasn’t said anything to me about it.”

“When are you planning to stop breastfeeding?”

“I figured whenever she was ready to stop or if I dried up, whichever comes first.” Yuuri glances at his pizza before adding, “Also, please don’t judge me for eating this, I normally eat very healthy so she can be healthy, but it’s tradition.”

Viktor chuckles around his mouthful, shaking his head as he chews. “I wouldn’t dream of it! I remember how you ate in Japan, it’s okay to eat junk food sometimes.” He leans in close. “Don’t tell Yakov I said that, he’s on a very strict diet right now.”

Phichit snorts pizza up his nose at that and they spend several minutes laughing as he whines about how much sauce burns the sinus cavity before they settle down again, getting enthralled in Kevin’s adventures. Yuuri feeds Mieko when she starts fussing and by the time the second Home Alone is over, they’re all drowsy and ready for bed.

“I’m going to head to the hotel now, I’ll see you in the morning,” Viktor whispers, kissing Yuuri’s cheek when he shows him out. Mieko is already in her bassinet, sleeping soundly, and Phichit is shuffling his way to the bedroom.

“Goodnight, Viktor.”

“Goodnight, Yuuri-kun.”

He grabs Viktor’s sleeve before he goes. “Viktor, I was… when we were in Japan, you-” Yuuri can’t pluck up the courage to ask, even after thinking about it all night. Since Viktor first asked, really. “N-Never mind, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

But Viktor doesn’t move, his whole body turning towards Yuuri now. “What, Yuuri? Don’t be afraid to ask me for anything.” He cups Yuuri’s face, tilting it up to look at him, and it’s so much like last time that Yuuri just blurts it out.

“Will you kiss me this time?”

Viktor’s face lights up and he doesn’t hesitate, leaning in to kiss Yuuri gently. His lips are plush and soft, slick with what Yuuri thinks is lip balm. They move slowly against Yuuri’s, Viktor’s hand sliding along his face to cup the back of his neck as his other arm comes up to circle his waist. It’s nothing like the sloppy, desperate kisses they shared their one time together, at least what Yuuri can remember of it. It’s all sweetness and unhurried, and tastes vaguely of pepperoni.

Yuuri snorts, pulling away and shaking his head at the thought. “No, no, I’m sorry,” he gasps when Viktor looks at him oddly. “I just- we both had pepperoni earlier and-”

Viktor lets out a quiet laugh at that. “You’re right, I didn’t think about that. Perhaps not the best first kiss, _nyet_?”

“That wasn’t our first kiss,” Yuuri points out.

“No, but I wish it had been, my Yuuri,” Viktor sighs. “I wouldn’t trade Mieko for the world, but I wish we had known each other better before having kids.” He loosens his grip on Yuuri then, but Yuuri holds on.

“How long are you in Detroit for?”

“I fly out on the fifth, so two weeks?”

“Do you have any business around here?”

Viktor shakes his head, smiling. “My only business is spending time with Mieko, and with you, Yuuri-kun.”

“Then we should capitalize on that and spend as much time together as possible.”

“I’d like that, very much.”

“Me, too. Thank you.”

“For what?” Viktor looks confused, his head tilted slightly to the side like a puppy, and Yuuri lets out a giggle.

“For coming out, for surprising us. For… For just being here. I’m really glad you’re here” Yuuri stands on his tiptoes and seals the words with a kiss. After he sees Viktor out, he falls into bed with a smile.

888

Like clockwork, Viktor shows up at their apartment at the same time every morning. The first morning, it’s at eight, and when he realizes that’s a good way to get a cold reception and dirty looks for most of the morning, he starts showing up at ten thirty instead, bearing food and hot coffee for Phichit and tea for Yuuri. After everyone is fully awake, they bundle Mieko up and Yuuri shows Viktor around Detroit.

Landmarks, museums, his and Phichit’s favorite restaurants, everywhere he can think to go. Sometimes Phichit joins them, but he often doesn’t. He tells Yuuri one night that he doesn’t want to seem like a tagalong to their family outings, insisting that they spend alone time together. He goes if they’re going to one of his favorite spots, but otherwise stays at the apartment or goes to the rink. Each night, they watch a movie from their traditional lineup of holiday shows and then Viktor will go back to his hotel after kissing Yuuri and Mieko, if she’s awake, good night.

Christmas Day arrives and, while none of their home countries really celebrate the holiday like American’s do, they still go along with it. Yuuri makes a huge stack of French toast for all of them to eat while they sit in the living room and open presents. After hearing that they do, in fact, follow that American tradition, Viktor arrives with a stack of presents in his arms and two bags dangling from each on Christmas Day.

“Viktor, what is this?” Yuuri sputters as he lets him in. He grabs half of the stack so that Viktor can see.

“Hello, Yuuri! I brought presents! _Schastlivoye Rozhdestvo_ , everyone!” He walks into the living room where Phichit is keeping Mieko occupied and away from the French toast.

“Viktor, what-”

“He brought presents,” Yuuri sighs, flopping down onto the couch and rescuing his plate from Mieko’s clutches. He would normally take her so that Phichit could eat, but he knows Viktor is just going to grab her up as soon as he can, the way he always does.

“Aw, I didn’t get you anything!” Phichit whines when Viktor trades a wrapped gift for his daughter. “It’s not fair then.”

“Don’t worry about it, seeing this girl is gift enough for me!” Viktor exclaims, lifting her up into the air.

“Viktor, I wouldn’t shake her too much, she might-” There’s a gurgle and then white splatters on Viktor’s coat. “Oh, no…”

To Yuuri’s surprise, Viktor just laughs, lowering Mieko down to his other shoulder. “It’s fine, Yuuri, that’s not the first time a baby has thrown up on me. I shouldn’t have lifted her up, that’s Baby 101.”

Yuuri still jumps up, grabbing a washcloth from the bathroom and getting it wet before hurrying back into the living room. Viktor is sitting on the couch as Phichit passes him a plate and Yuuri leans over, swiping at the mess. “I’m sorry, I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with her yesterday, she’s been extra fussy all morning. I gave her some gas medicine, I’m hoping it starts working soon.”

“Yuuri, it’s okay, I promise,” Viktor says, gently stopping his frantic movements. He takes the soiled cloth and sets it aside before tugging Yuuri down. “It can be cleaned, it’s not a big deal.” He hands Yuuri Mieko and shrugs off his coat, draping it over the back of the armchair before sitting down next to Yuuri again, pulling out his phone. “Photo time!”

The three of them scrunch together and Viktor snaps several photos before sitting up straight and flicking through them. “Is this one okay?”

It’s actually perfect. Mieko is staring up at the phone with wide eyes, her hair a stuck-up mess. Yuuri is smiling, his hair going a bit everywhere as well. Viktor is… he’s staring at Yuuri, soft and sweet. “Yeah, it’s… it’s great.” Yuuri looks back at Viktor, who still has that smile on.

Right up until he _boops_ Yuuri nose with a wink and brings the phone back to him. “I promise, only one photo before we get started!”

[image.jpeg]  
**v-nikiforov** _It’s my little_ [angel emoji] _s first #Christmas!_ [christmas tree][star][present] _I hope everyone who celebrates this day gets everything they want and everyone who doesn’t has a happy day anyway!_

Viktor locks his phone and sets it on the table, out of the reach of tiny baby fingers, before grabbing his plate. Yuuri offers to take Mieko, but like usual, Viktor refuses, spending all of breakfast with her in his lap. _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ plays in the background, Jim Carrey’s voice a fun soundtrack as they eat and clean up before grabbing presents. Phichit and Yuuri exchange two presents each and Viktor’s brow wrinkles when he sees this.

“Tradition,” Phichit says. “Since we’re both broke college students, we always only buy each other two present; one that’s useful, and one that’s a total joke.”

“I maintain that sweater wasn’t a joke,” Yuuri sniffs delicately as he accepts a small stack of presents from Phichit to Mieko.  
  
“It _looked_ like a joke, Yuuri. It was _yellow_.”

“Whatever. Open a present, you jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Yuuri sticks out his tongue while Viktor just looks confused, but Yuuri shakes his head and tells him not to worry about it; together they help Mieko ‘open’ her presents. Phichit snaps pictures on Viktor’s phone when he asks him to, but he abandons it after a while for his new high tech camera. He makes sure to get shots of them from different angles: them trying to get Mieko to open a present, which is mostly just for show, Yuuri holding up everything so she can see it, Yuuri wrestling a piece of wrapping paper out of her mouth while Viktor laughs. By the time they're done with her stuff, there's a mound of new clothes and toys next to Yuuri.

"Thank you both for everything," he says, smiling at both of them. 

"Of _course_ I'm going to spoil her, I plan on being her favorite uncle," Phichit replies, taking a quick selfie with his small stack of presents and uploading it immediately.

[image.jpeg]  
**phichit+chu** _They love me, they really love me! #AVeryChulanontKatsukiNikiforovChristmas Happy holidays everyone! #MiekosNumberOneUncleForLife_

"You'll have to fight Yura for that," Viktor laughs. "He sent a small sack of presents with me, tried to say he just wanted to give to charity." He gestures to a bag by the door that Yuuri hadn't even noticed. “I figured we would do his separately, so he gets all the attention."

"No fair! I demand a rewrap!" Phichit says indignantly.

"Just open your presents, Phichit," Yuuri sighs, taking Mieko so Viktor can grab the bag. He takes his time arranging the presents just so around them and snaps a picture.

[image.jpeg]  
**v-nikiforov** _Time to open presents from @yuri_plisetsky! #TheyreSoBeautiful_

Unsurprisingly, everything that Plisetsky had sent was covered in animal print, much to Mieko's apparent delight. Laughing, Viktor recorded a video of her happily shoving a stuffed tiger in her mouth while Phichit moaned in the background.

"I'm sending that straight to Yura," Viktor snickers as he types on his phone.

"Yura is Yuri Plisetsky?" Yuuri asks.

" _Da_ , that's his nickname. I thought it would be less confusion, since you have the same name."

Yuuri nods, because that makes sense, and begins cleaning up the mess of paper around them before Mieko can stick more in her mouth. Viktor stops him before he gets much done.

"Yuuri, it's your turn, let me clean this up."

"Oh, no, I can-"

"Yuuuuuriii." Viktor looks stern and it's such a ridiculous look on him that Yuuri lets out a snort before holding up his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay, I'll open mine." Mieko yawns and Yuuri decides to put her to sleep first, rocking her slowly until her eyes close. He waits for a bit, listening to Phichit and Viktor joke around as they clean up the French toast mess in the kitchen. When he’s sure she’s asleep, Yuuri carries her into the bedroom and slowly lays her in her bassinet. He’s learned that if he slowly pulls away from her, she’s less likely to wake back up, so the process takes some time and when he returns to the living room, Phichit and Viktor are already finished in the kitchen and are waiting for him.

Phichit has given him a truly atrocious Christmas sweater, which he puts on immediately, as per tradition. Even though they always get each other ugly sweaters, they make sure they're warm and comfortable, and Yuuri typically uses his until the next Christmas comes around. Phichit is already wrapped in his, poop brown and covered in more sparkles than their Christmas tree, helping Viktor clear up the paper. His second gift from Phichit is a new toiletry kit, filled with his favorite products. The kit is of a very nice quality, strongly built and with extra space for anything else he might want to add.

"This is amazing, Phichit, thank you," he tells him sincerely. Phichit beams at him before he tells them he’s going to lay back down for awhile. Mieko had been up and down all night and, since they all shared a room, that meant Phichit didn’t get much sleep either. He thanks Viktor for the new skate gloves and, yawning, heads to the bedroom. They wave him off and Viktor settles on the couch with Yuuri as he hands him a box. It’s small and thin and Yuuri can tell that it probably has jewelry in it, though it is thankfully too big to be a ring box. He opens his mouth to protest how much it likely cost, but Viktor places a finger over his lips before he can get a word out.

“This is something I wanted to do for you, Yuuri, please let me.”

Sighing a bit, Yuuri nods and begins to carefully unwrap the present. “Oh, Viktor…” It’s a necklace with two things dangling from it; one is a gold band and the other is a locket which, when opened, reveals a picture of Mieko. “This is beautiful.”

“Do you like it?”

Yuuri looks up at him with watery eyes and smiles. “I love it, thank you. But the ring?”

Viktor takes Yuuri’s hand and kneels on the ground before him. “Yuuri, I know you’re not ready for more and you don’t think you deserve the world, but I think you do. I _want_ to give you the world, but I’m willing to wait until you’re ready for it. Even if we’re never together, this ring is a promise, from me to you, that I will do everything in my power to take care of you and Mieko. I will be here for you as much or as little as you want and I swear I will protect you from the world.”

“That sounds like a marriage proposal,” Yuuri chuckles through the tears.

“Perhaps, but it can mean whatever you want it to mean. If you never want to be with me romantically, I’m perfectly fine with that. We can be friends and co-parent our daughter and never be more. I will never pressure you to be with me and I will never make you do anything you are not one hundred percent comfortable doing. This ring is to symbolize that promise.”

“Viktor…” Yuuri leans forward, kissing him soft, the chain of the necklace clutched in his hand. Viktor very pointedly keeps his hands to himself, letting Yuuri lead the kiss. It remains chaste, but the sweetness of it floods Yuuri with warmth. “My gift to you is terrible in comparison,” Yuuri groans as he pulls back. His fingers shake as he puts the necklace on, but he manages.  
  
“I’m sure I’ll love it. You didn’t have to get me anything, you know.”

Yuuri shrugs, handing Viktor his box. The day after Viktor had arrived, Yuuri had gone out in search of the perfect present for him. Knowing that Viktor doesn’t really celebrate Christmas, it’s wrapped in cheerful birthday paper instead. Inside is a book, carefully put together by patient hands.

The first page is an article printed off from the Grand Prix Final the year before, because “That’s when it started.” The second page is a print off from a clinic in Detroit; “That’s when I found out I was pregnant with Mieko.” The third page is soundwaves, which Yuuri explains he had drawn from the first time he heard Mieko’s heart beating inside him. The fourth is a picture of Yuuri, heavily pregnant and naked, about to step into the hot springs. Mari had taken it one day and Yuuri had loved it. There were very few pictures of him pregnant, and he certainly hadn’t followed the American tradition of maternity pictures, but he thought it would be fitting for this book. Copies of his sonograms, the originals carefully stored in a safe deposit box, pictures from the day of Mieko’s birth, a copy of her tiny foot- and handprints. Her life, _their_ life, up until Viktor met her. After that, there a few pictures of him and Mieko, a few with Yuuri in there as well, all the way up until the day before. There are several blank pages at the end and Viktor immediately realizes that they’re there for him to fill up on his own.

“Yuuri, this is amazing, I…” he trails off, unsure of what to say, but Yuuri just smiles sheepishly at him.

“I thought I might start making up for hiding from you by showing you what was going on. It’s not much, I’m sorry, I-”

His words are cut off by Viktor throwing himself on Yuuri, hugging him tightly. “It’s perfect, thank you so much, Yuuri.” Viktor’s voice is choked and muffled, but the words are clear and Yuuri relaxes slightly. Viktor pulls back enough to press a light kiss to Yuuri’s lips and whispers “Thank you” again.

“Now, what’s the plan for the rest of the day?” Viktor asks, straightening up and looking around.

“Ah, well, America pretty much shuts down for the day, so Phichit and I normally order the least terrible takeaway possible for lunch and dinner and watch the rest of the Christmas movies. This year, though, I planned on making dinner.” He glances at Viktor. “You’re welcome to stay, if you want.”

Viktor studies him for a moment before saying, “You look tired, Yuuri. Why don’t you go take a nap, too, and I’ll wait here for you, okay?”

“No, no, no, that’s- You’re our guest, I’m fine,” Yuuri sputters.

“Nonsense! You’re tired, Mieko is asleep, go take a nap, I can take care of myself. Go on.” Viktor stands and holds out a hand to Yuuri, who reluctantly takes it and stands.

“Are you sure?”

“The most sure. Go to bed.” He kisses Yuuri’s knuckles and ushers him towards the bedroom. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

888

Yuuri’s eyes snap open suddenly. He can hear voices outside the room and glances at the bassinet between his and Phichit’s bed. It’s empty, as it Phichit’s bed, which means he’s taken the baby out of the room so that Yuuri could sleep. Now that Yuuri’s going to be working, he’s started pumping more milk to store up for the times when he won’t be able to feed Mieko, so it’s likely that Phichit’s also fed her from the supply. Normally he would pump just so he could donate to mothers who can’t produce or need help, but now some of it stays in their fridge. Mieko doesn’t like the bottle, but she’ll take it when she’s really hungry; the breast will clearly be her favorite. It means that in times like this, Phichit is able to feed her so Yuuri can sleep. Yuuri always tell Phichit that he doesn’t need to do that, that he should wake Yuuri up because Mieko is his responsibility, but Phichit never listens.

He stretches, blinking up at the blurry ceiling and enjoying the quiet minute alone. When he finally gets up, scrounging for his glasses, he realizes there’s a particular scent in the air and follows his nose and ears to the kitchen, where Viktor is stirring something on the stove while Phichit sits on the counter opposite of him with Mieko in his arm, a bottle in her mouth that she sucks greedily from.

“Yuuri!” Viktor exclaims, turning and hugging him. “Do you feel better?”

“Much better, thanks,” he mumbles, offering to take Mikeo, but Phichit shakes his head.

“We’re _bonding_ , Yuuri, she needs to know that I’m her favorite uncle!”

“Yura commented on Phichit’s photo claiming to be the number one uncle,” Viktor explains as he starts looking through their cabinets. 

“The middle one,” Phichit says helpfully before Yuuri can ask what he’s looking for. “I’m just saying, buying a lot of presents doesn’t make you the favorite.”

“What’s going on?” Yuuri finally asks as Viktor pulls down bowls and grabs spoons.

“Oh! I made schi, it’s a meat and cabbage soup, very good Russian comfort food. I know everyone thinks I’m helpless in the kitchen, but you can’t stay in competition shape by only eating out.” Viktor grins as he ladles some into each of the bowls.  
  
“It smells really good, thank you,” Yuuri says, holding Mieko so Phichit can jump off of the counter, though he immediately takes her back, babbling in Thai. Yuuri carries both of their bowls into the living room with Viktor following behind. The day is filled with warm food, silly American Christmas movies, and laughter. Yuuri can’t remember a better holiday celebration.

888

“How is your skating, Yuuri?” Viktor asks randomly a few days after Christmas while they’re wandering around the city.

“Uh, it’s okay, I guess. I can’t do triples yet, but I go in every couple of months to have my incision site checked out and the doctor says it’s healing very well. I’m able to do a few doubles, though.”

“Yuuri, that’s amazing!”

He blushes at the praise, but shrugs. “I worked out as much as I could when I was pregnant, so I didn’t lose too much muscle, and I’ve worked out as often as I can since Mieko was born. No one can bounce right back to where they were before getting pregnant, but my doctor says I’m doing a good job.”

“Can I see?” Yuuri wants to say no, but Viktor gives him a pleading look and he gives in, unable to resist those blue puppy eyes.  
  
“Okay.” They head back to the apartment so that they can get his gear and Phichit offers to take Mieko for the time being. He’s currently involved in a insta-war with Yura over who Mieko loves more and he swears this will give him leverage. Yuuri doesn’t mind and passes her over before grabbing his bag; Viktor’s hand finds its way into his free one and Yuuri can feel himself blushing when he looks over at him, but Viktor’s face is soft and open.

The rink is closed for the day by the time they get there, but Yuuri has a key and easily gets them in, shooting off a text to the owner to let them know. Viktor stays by the rink as Yuuri gets changed into his workout clothes in the locker room, padding out in his socked feet so that he can talk to Viktor while he straps on his boots. Viktor takes his skate guards from him when he steps onto the ice and Yuuri spends a few minutes just skating around, warming up his muscles.

“Can I show you something?” he asks Viktor nervously when he skates back to where the other man is waiting.

“Of course, Yuuri, anything.”

Yuuri pulls his glasses off, fiddling with them as he says, “It’s just something I’ve been working on. It’s not finished, and I don’t have music to it yet, uhm, not really, but… Well, here.” Viktor takes his glasses from him and Yuuri can feels his eyes on him as he skates to the center of the ice.

Taking a deep breath, he begins.

The faint strains of music he remembers from a track a friend made over a year ago plays in his head. It never felt right, asking her to make the music, but the piece hadn’t felt complete when she had given it to him either. The CD still sits on his shelf, but the music plays fresh in his mind. The piano tempo, quick overlaid with something softer, an incomplete piece for an incomplete career, the moves half formed in his mind, telling his story. He’s been working on it almost since he’s been able to get back on the ice and no one, not even Phichit, knows about it. Yuuri pours his emotions out on the ice, his fear of failure, the small triumph of getting to the Finals, the sadness at his loss, both Vicchan and the podium he was so close to climbing on. The joy of having his daughter and watching her grow. Yuuri skates and skates and by the time he’s done, arm outstretched, reaching for Viktor, for their future, for any possibility that Viktor might feel as strongly for him that Yuuri does for Viktor, he hopes he’s made his point clear.

Because he knows that Viktor skipped out on practice in St. Petersburg to come out here. He’s watched Viktor the past week, knows that Vitkor watches him. Their fingers find each other often. The kiss they shared, the one Viktor had wished was their first, and everything that had happened since then, all of the kisses and late night conversations, tells Yuuri that Viktor does like him, does _care_ for him, but how deep his feelings run are still a mystery to Yuuri.

Clapping burst the bubble around him and, chest heaving, Yuuri skates over to where Viktor stands, accepting his glasses back, but refusing to look at Viktor. “Yuuri, that was beautiful!”

“It’s not done,” Yuuri mumbles.

“It’s still beautiful, Yuuri, so amazing and heartfelt.” Fingers slide under his chin and tilt his face up. “You’re amazing, Yuuri. Did you choreograph that all on your own?”

“Yes.”

Viktor stares down at him, awe and happiness and… _oh_. “Yuuri…”

“Viktor, I-”

He doesn’t think, just leans forward and kisses Viktor intently. He feels Viktor’s inhale of surprise, but before he can pull away, before he can retreat into his own treacherous mind, Viktor’s hand comes up to cup the back of his neck in a gesture that is beginning to feel familiar. They kiss and kiss and kiss until the board between them becomes irritating when they try to press closer.

“Viktor, I want you to know, I-” The words hang in the back of his throat, but Yuuri forces them out, “I really like you, Viktor, uhm, more than just as, as Mieko’s father.” His blush returns full force and he curses his pale skin.

“I really like you, too, Yuuri. I thought you knew that?” When Yuuri’s brow crinkles, Viktor adds, “I told you that I wanted to get to know you, Yuuri, that I wanted to spend more time with you, and that wasn’t because you’re Mieko’s mother. I-” He frowns, pushing his hair back for a second and glancing around. “Will you come back to my hotel room with me? I think it’s time we really talked about everything.”

“But Mieko-”

“I paid Phichit to watch her for the night, even though he tried to refuse the money. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I knew that it was time for us to talk everything out. Things between us, they are not typical, _da_?”

Yuuri lets out a breath and nods. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I moved Russian Championships and the GPF up for story reasons.
> 
> So the fallout from the last chapter was hard on me and added a lot of stress, to the point I considered not posting anything because I like to be ahead on chapters when I'm posting and I haven't been writing much lately. I'm almost finished with chapter eight, though, so I decided to go ahead with it.
> 
> However, I'm going to say this here and now: This fic is going to have inaccuracies. They might be glaring, they might not be, but I am in no way claiming this to be accurate in any way for a variety of reasons, other than the majority of the parenting/pregnancy/postnatal stuff, which is typically going to based on my own experiences as a person who has been pregnant and is raising a child. Another thing: I try to answer all of the comments, even if it's just keysmashing and a thank you, and any questions that are asked. However, if I don't give answers for every question, it's because they probably contain spoilers and I'm not giving stuff away.
> 
> If you have a problem with this fic or my answers (or lack there of), please don't antagonize people in the comments, just stop reading. Fighting makes writing not fun.
> 
> Thank you for reading this, I hope y'all enjoy!


	8. Misunderstandings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that between jobs and taking my kid to get his school supplies, I won't have much time to do stuff like posting, so here ya go, kids.
> 
> Oh, yeah, porn-ho!
> 
> There's a bit of lactation/breast feeding kink there, but not enough that I think it merits tagging? If you think it does, let me know, please, and I'll add it to the tags.

Viktor’s room is at the top of the hotel, large and expansive, and they settle in the living room area. Yuuri curls his socked feet underneath himself and faces Viktor.

“Yuuri, I think we’ve had some misunderstandings,” Viktor begins, his posture the same as Yuuri’s. “I thought I was being clear on how I feel about you, but I’m beginning to think I’m wrong.” Reaching across the distance between them, he takes Yuuri’s hand in his.

“I’m going to be blunt with you, Yuuri: I've loved you since you challenged Yura to a dance off and dragged me into it. I spent a year watching video after video and reading interview after interview, trying to learn anything about you that I could and falling in love with the idea of you in my head. And then... then I met you. The real you. And you weren't who I imagined you would be.” The breath Viktor pauses to take shudders as he slowly inhales. “You’re… Yuuri, you’re so much more than I could ever have imagined. Talking to you this past month over video chats and texts, it’s shown me more than any videos could have, more than any interview could have revealed. You’re so, so smart, you’re funny, you can’t get through a story about your skate club without giggling, you give away the punchline when you’re trying to tell a joke. Your hair sticks up funny in the mornings, but your eyes always crinkle when you smile at me anyway. You love our daughter so much that it’s almost painful to look at the two of you sometimes.

“Every day that I’ve spent with you makes me fall a little bit more in love. Yuuri, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Even if we hadn’t had our daughter, I don’t think that would have changed. Last year, at the banquet, you enamored me, in a way no one has before. I wasn’t kidding about falling for you early on, and everything I’ve learned about you since has done nothing to diminish that. I am going to be upfront with you, because I’ve also learned that you don’t think you’re nearly as amazing as you actually are. I am in love with every evolution of you and I can’t see myself not continuing to be in love with every evolution of you. I want to spend my life learning everything about you. I want to know you and love you and I can only hope that you’ll love me in return. Not because we have a child together, but because I care for you and I want to love you.”

Yuuri blinks the tears from his eyes, because he’s never had such a romantic thing said to him before. Viktor loves him? He wants to be with plain, ordinary, boring Katsuki Yuuri? The idea is nearly impossible to believe, but Viktor is right there, holding on to Yuuri’s hand and looking so damned earnest that Yuuri leans forward, closing the distance between them. Viktor’s eyes are so wide and blue when Yuuri presses their foreheads together, so alight with hope that Yuuri can’t do anything but whisper, “I want all of that with you. I love you, Viktor, I always have.”

Much like their first actual kiss, Yuuri isn’t sure who moves first, but the feel of Viktor’s lips on his is like coming home. They’re just as soft as always, moving against Yuuri’s as Viktor tugs him closer. Yuuri settles in his lap, his knees on either side of Viktor’s hips, giving him a slight advantage of height so that Viktor has to tilt his head up this time. He doesn’t seem to mind, if the groan he lets out is any indication, and his hands find Yuuri’s waist, holding onto him gently. It’s nothing like the first time, all fumbling and rushing lust, and it’s not like it usually is when they kiss, both of them tentative with worry of overstepping each other’s undefined boundaries. 

It’s exploratory, learning the boundaries between them. Viktor learns that Yuuri’s neck is very sensitive and that if he grabs his ass while biting his neck, Yuuri will make the most amazing noise that goes straight to Viktor’s cock. In return, Yuuri learns that if he rolls his hips while just barely ghosting his lips over Viktor’s, it will make him inhale sharply and try to kiss Yuuri properly. They give and take from each other, both of them working up to the point they both want and are too nervous to reach.

Until they do.

“Viktor, please,” Yuuri whispers, lips brushing against Viktor’s. “Please, I want you so much.”

It throws Viktor back to that first night when Yuuri had said the same thing, right after Viktor had scented him. He groans, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s waist and carefully standing. Yuuri lets out a yelp before laughing and clinging to Viktor.

“You better not drop me,” Yuuri says in a mockingly stern voice as Viktor walks them to the bedroom.

“What if I drop you on the bed?”

Yuuri pretends to think about if for a second before replying, “I suppose that would be acceptable.”

Viktor laughs with him and when they reach the bed, instead of dropping him, he lowers Yuuri down slowly, kneeling over him and brushing his hair out of his face. “You’re so beautiful, my Yuuri.”

Yuuri blushes, cheeks flaming, but he forces his eyes to stay on Viktor’s. He trails his hand up Viktor’s bicep, up to his neck and, purposely, he rubs the inside of his wrist on Viktor’s neck, right on his scent gland. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you.” Viktor leans down, dislodging Yuuri’s hand as he rubs his cheek over Yuuri’s own gland. The words and the actions shoot straight to Yuuri’s groin, and he shivers beneath him. “You are beautiful and amazing, and anyone with half a brain would see that.” His hand falls to them hem of Yuuri’s shirt, tugging at it lightly. “I would like to see all of you, Yuuri, if you’ll allow me to.”

A flash of self consciousness rushes through Yuuri and he stops Viktor’s hand. “I-I don’t, it’s not-”

“What’s wrong, my Yuuri?”

“I don’t look… good… there.”

“What, your stomach?”

Yuuri just nods and wishes that he could melt into the bed from embarrassment. “It’s all loose and there’s marks, I- it’s ugly.”

“My Yuuri…” Viktor looks sad at that declaration, fingers removing themselves from Yuuri’s shirt so that they can caress his face instead. “Yuuri, you could never be ugly. Those marks are beautiful because they came from carrying our daughter. Your body protected her, nurtured her, hell, you’re _still_ nurturing her. There’s no way some tiger stripes from doing what is probably the hardest thing for a human to do could ever be considered ugly.” He kisses Yuuri, trying to convey everything he feels, how little he cares what Yuuri’s body looks like.

“You’re beautiful, and I want to spend the rest of our lives proving it to you, starting now. Please, Yuuri.”

 _Really, how can I say no to that_ , Yuuri muses. Taking a deep breath, he sits up slightly and quickly pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side and flopping back on the bed stiffly. He stares at the ceiling, determined not to see the disgust on Viktor’s face when he looks at Yuuri’s body, which means he startles when fingers brush against the skin of his abdomen.

“Yuuri,” Viktor breathes, reverent as a worshiper at an alter. “You’re so amazing, how could you ever-” He cuts himself off and Yuuri jerks slightly when lips trail over the marks.

“It’s not-”

“Beautiful. Yuuri, I could not care less if you had a perfectly flat stomach or not.” His tongue darts out. “You are gorgeous and beautiful and more than my words could ever describe.” Viktor’s hair tickles as he moves up Yuuri’s body, holding himself over Yuuri. “If I were a poet, I would write sonnets to your beauty, my Yuuri.”

“Oh my god, does that cheesy line actually work?” Yuuri bursts into giggles, burying his face into his hands while Viktor makes wounded noises and flops down dramatically on top of Yuuri.

“How shall I ever live! My Yuuri is so cruel to mock my sweet words! I can’t go on any longer, knowing that my love treats me such a way!”

Still laughing, Yuuri pushes at Viktor’s shoulder. “You’re so heavy,” he groans.

“I’m _wounded_ , Yuuri, in _distress_ , and this is how you treat me?” Viktor shoves his face into Yuuri’s neck and pretends to sob, which only makes Yuuri laugh harder as he tries to push him off.

“I’ll show you wounded,” he grunts, suddenly drawing in a breath as Viktor sits up, pouting.

“I think you should kiss it better,” he says, voice husky with promise, and all of the breath leaves Yuuri’s body just as suddenly.

“Oh, yeah? And where should I kiss it?” Yuuri shoots back.

“Right here.” Viktor taps his lips with one long finger and Yuuri leans up, pressing a soft kiss onto them. Viktor doesn’t let him move away, deepening the kiss as he follows Yuuri down onto the bed. They kiss and move together, getting back to where they were when they first came into the bedroom. Viktor moves away briefly to throw off his shirt before diving back in. His lips trail down Yuuri’s jaw, leaving kisses in their wake, before Viktor reaches his scent gland. He scrapes his teeth over it and Yuuri cries out, hips arching up as his fingers scrabble for purchase on Viktor’s back.

“Oh my god,” Yuuri whines as Viktor sucks on it lightly, tilting his head to give Viktor more space.

“You smell so good,” Viktor growls, hips thrusting down to Yuuri’s. “Fuck, you smell so pretty, my beautiful little omega.” Yuuri shudders at the words, nails digging into Viktor’s back. “I want to open you up, fuck into your pretty little hole, keep you on my knot for hours-”

The words are so unabashedly filthy, and so unlike Viktor, that Yuuri has to pause for a moment, pulling away. Viktor sinks his teeth into Yuuri’s shoulder and he instinctively stills beneath him. “Viktor-”

“Yuuri.” Viktor grinds their hips together roughly and Yuuri forces himself to keep his mind straight.

“No, Viktor, wait, I think you’re in rut,” Yuuri says.

Viktor stills above him before abruptly sitting up. “No, I can’t- I’m on suppressants, I shouldn’t-”

“You’re not acting like you, I just-”

“You should leave, Yuuri,” Viktor says, backing away slowly. “If- This is a breakthrough rut, you should go, it’ll only be a day or so.”

“But aren’t they shortened if you have a partner?”

“Yes, but Yuuri, I can’t ask that of you.”

Yuuri bites his lip, considering. “I’m on birth control, and suppressants. We can use protection. It should only last a couple of hours if it’s just a breakthrough.”

“Yuuri, really, I can’t ask that of you.” Viktor starts to pull away, but Yuuri stops him, pulling him back in.

“You’re not asking, Viktor. I’m telling you, please, let me help you.”

Viktor stares at him for a moment before leaning in again and pressing his lips to Yuuri’s. “You- I- Yuuri-” He can’t seem to get a sentence out, stopping after every word to kiss Yuuri, his lips, his face, his neck, until the other man is once again writhing beneath him.

“Wait, wait, let me let Phichit know what’s going on and see if he can watch Mieko for a little longer,” Yuuri says, fumbling for his phone in his pocket and shooting off a quick text. Viktor kisses his way down Yuuri’s chest as his fingers play with the button on Yuuri’s pants.

“Off?”

Yuuri nods, focusing on his breathing instead of the crippling self-doubt that _still_ makes him want to cover his body to hide it from view.

“Yuuri, look at me,” Viktor says, voice low and commanding, dripping with alpha authority, and Yuuri’s eyes snap to him. Viktor pins him down with his stare as his fingers work on the button, sliding Yuuri’s pants off and throwing them on the floor before his own join. When Yuuri shivers, Viktor brings his hand up to caress his cheek. “If you don’t want this, please, tell me now.”

“I want this.” Yuuri is so thankful his voice is more confident than he feels, and he uses that faux confidence to pull Viktor down to him, wrapping his legs around Viktor’s waist as he uses every bit of his, admittedly limited, knowledge to kiss him senseless. Viktor moans, hips rocking into Yuuri’s as he holds himself up. Their cocks rub together with each movement and Yuuri shivers with want. 

They only break apart when Yuuri’s phone dings and even then, Viktor shoves his face into Yuuri’s gland while Yuuri checks his phone. “Phichit says he’s fine with Mieko for a day or so,” Yuuri pants. “I’ve been pumping, so there should be plenty of milk, we’re fINE.” Yuuri’s voice pitches high at the end as Viktor rocks roughly against him while sucking at his gland. Shudders wracked his body and he can feel the tension drain out of him.

“I need you, Yuuri, please, can I-” Viktor thrusts, reaching between them to wrap one hand around their cocks as he peppers kisses over Yuuri’s lips. “You’re so beautiful, I want you so badly, never had anyone as perfect as you,” Viktor babbles; Yuuri is too turned on to care about his insecurities, whining as he rocks his hips up.

“Fuck me, please, Viktor, you feel so good,” Yuuri moans, fully enveloped by the intoxicating alpha musk coming off of Viktor, causing his inhibitions to drop. They move together, finding the position that works best for them, ending up with Yuuri in Viktor’s lap. Yuuri is suddenly keenly aware of how wet he is, the smell of an alpha in rut heavy in the air turning him so impossibly on. He’s never shared a heat with anyone, unless cuddling with Phichit counts, and certainly hasn’t ever been with an alpha in heat, so he’s not sure how normal this is, but he’s definitely not complaining, particularly not when Viktor easily slides two fingers inside him without issue. He clenches around the intrusion, burying his face into Viktor’s neck as he thrusts back onto his fingers.

“Fuck, you’re so wet, so good for me, Yuuri, gonna let me fuck your pretty little ass. You’re going to let me, yeah? Going to get wetter, going to open up and let me fuck you until you’re a sobbing mess.” Viktor’s lips brush against Yuuri’s ear with each word, drawing out shivers, before Viktor bites on his lobe. “I want to knot you, stay inside you for hours, I never want you to leave me-”

Yuuri’s body seizes up at those words as he comes, white landing on both of their stomachs as he bears down on Viktor’s fingers, which curl inward, rubbing Yuuri’s prostate until he whines with oversensitivity.

“You’re so beautiful, Yuuri,” Viktor murmurs, fingers stilling where they’re inside Yuuri. “That was so perfect.”

“Vicchan.” Viktor hums in acknowledgement. “Shut up and fuck me already.”

Viktor’s laugh echos in his ear as he shifts. “I thought that was my line, with the rut and all.”

“Nope, my line.” Yuuri giggles, feeling drunk with endorphins. He leans back to look Viktor in the face. “So, are you going to leave me hanging, or give me what I want?” he adds teasingly.

“Fuck.” Viktor pushes him down onto the bed and follows, hand fumbling between them as he tries to line up his cock.

“Wait, wait, wait, you need a condom,” Yuuri says, pushing at Viktor’s shoulder and earning a whine, but Viktor pulls away, staring mournfully at Yuuri’s body.

“Two seconds, okay, just two seconds,” he mumbles, climbing off of the bed and going over to dig through his suitcase.

“You don’t have to reassure me.”

“I was reassuring _me_ ,” Viktor grouses as he climbs back into the bed. “I don’t want to be away from you at all.” He tears open the condom and rolls it on, making sure it covers the barely-there knot at the base of his dick. “But we don’t need another Mieko just yet, so condoms it is.”

Yuuri moans as Viktor finally pushes into him, relaxing his body. Once he’s fully inside, they both stop and Viktor presses his forehead to Yuuri’s. “If I could, I would give you the world, _pryanichek_ , you and Mieko. I never knew it could feel like this.”

“What could feel like this?”

Viktor’s eyes are shining, bright and happy. “Living. Being with someone. Happiness.” Yuuri’s breath hitches in his throat before he drags Viktor down to him, pouring everything he has into the kiss. Viktor moves slowly at first, just little pushes in and out, but even as he starts fucking into Yuuri, he keeps the kiss languid, syrupy sweet and making Yuuri melt beneath him.

Finally, Yuuri has to break away, panting, fingernails digging lines of painpleasure down Viktor’s back. Viktor buries his face in Yuuri’s neck so that all it takes is Yuuri turning his head slightly to the side to find Viktor’s ear. “I love you, please, knot me, alpha,” he whispers into the sweat dampened strands. Viktor growls, his thrusts becoming rougher and his knot dragging against Yuuri’s rim until it’s forced in and Viktor’s hips still. His teeth dig painfully into Yuuri’s shoulder, but he doesn’t even noticed with the unbelievable fullness that comes with being knotted for the first time while sober and actually able to remember the feeling, while also coming between their bodies.

“Oh my god, Yuuri,” Viktor says, breathing like a winded rhino. He shifts and his knot moves inside Yuuri, who hisses at the feeling of oversensitivity. “Sorry, sorry, that was just- wow, Yuuri.”

Yuuri lets out a hum that ends with a chuckle. “Wow is definitely the word I would use.” They lay in the quiet for a moment before Yuuri shifts and they both groan.

“This is… not the ideal position for knotting,” Viktor says, which causes Yuuri to snort, once again jostling the knot. It takes some carefully maneuvering before they’re in a more comfortable position, with Yuuri straddling Viktor, thighs on either side of his torso. “Now this is a magnificent view,” he says, smirking up at Yuuri, who blushes fiercely.

“I wish we could turn out the lights,” he grumbles back, plucking at the bedspread. It would take more work that Yuuri is willing to go through with a knot in his ass to get it out from under Viktor, though.

“Why? Because you have a couple of marks? Yuuri, I’m not giving you false compliments; you really are beautiful. Those marks are hard won. But,” he holds up his hand when Yuuri opens his mouth, “I understand that it’s not an easy thing for you, so I won’t look if you don’t want me to. I can’t do anything about the bedspread right this moment, though.”

“Uhm, so, how long does, uh, _it_ usually last?” Yuuri can feel his blush creeping down his chest and curses the traitorous heritage that shows red skin so easily.

“Not too long, ten to fifteen minutes? But, ah, I’ve never shared my knot with anyone in rut before, so it could be longer.” Viktor looks embarrassed at this.

“Never?” Yuuri is genuinely curious at this, because Viktor has a reputation.

“No, I’ve never found anyone I wanted to do that with. I usually spend my ruts alone.”

That thought stews around in Yuuri’s mind as they wait for the knot to go down and they’re finally able to move; Yuuri flops off to the side and shivers for a second before burrowing under the covers. Viktor laughs, kissing his forehead before he goes to the bathroom. Yuuri hears the water running for a few moments and enjoys the white noise. His ass is sore, clenching as some slick starts to slide out some. He turns onto his stomach so it doesn’t get over the sheets and settles into his warm cocoon. 

“Yuuri, would you like for me to clean you or would you rather do it yourself?” Viktor asks as he steps out of the bathroom. He laughs when he sees Yuuri bundled up and walks over to the bed. “Are you falling asleep on me?” he teases.

“Hm, no, just cold. I can clean up myself, it’s okay.” Yuuri starts to untangle, but lets out an unconscious whine when the cold air hits him again.

“Here, let me, okay?” Viktor carefully unwraps just around his ass and makes quick work of the mess, taking extreme care around Yuuri’s tender rim. He tucks the blanket back around Yuuri when he’s finish before going back into the bathroom. When he comes out once again, Yuuri lifts his arm in clear invitation and Viktor hurries to join him under the covers. Once he’s securely wrapped around Yuuri like an octopus, they settle down in the quiet for a long moment.

“I’ve never spent a rut with anyone,” Yuuri says suddenly.

“Never?”

“You’re- That night, that was the first time I’d ever, ah…” Yuuri hesitates, because Viktor has gone stiff at his back.

“What?”

“The night of the banquet, I had never… gone all the way… with anyone…”

“Oh, my Yuuri, I’m so sorry, if I’d known-”

“I’d rather you didn’t-”

“-I would have- not as rough-”

Yuuri turns over, their limbs all tangled between them, and covers Viktor’s mouth with his hand. “I liked it, the same way I liked it today. Please don’t apologize when it’s something I asked for, Vicchan.”

Viktor stares at him for a long moment before leaning in to kiss him. “You are something else, Katsuki Yuuri,” he whispers, his breath hot on Yuuri’s lips.

Yuuri squirms under the attention for a moment before deflecting. “Aren’t alphas supposed to be insatiable during a rut?” Viktor hums, his nose nudging Yuuri’s chin up so Viktor can place kisses along his jaw.

“Yes, and no. Mine are usually a little slower to start, then very heavy, then finished. It’s still in the beginning stages now, but… soon.”

Silence falls again, soft and comfortable, until Yuuri’s stomach lets out a rumble. Viktor laughs, moving away enough to find the room service menu so that he can order them some food before he lays back down, draping himself over Yuuri. His head is on Yuuri’s chest, which allows Yuuri plenty of space to look down as he runs a hand through Viktor’s hair over and over again. It’s not until Viktor starts nuzzling him that he feels a tickling sensation and is horrified to realize that his nipples are leaking milk. “Wait, Viktor-” The words are barely squeaked out of his mouth before Viktor latches on to one and gives it a hardy suck. His moan vibrates through Yuuri’s breast and he cries out, his hands sinking into Viktor’s hair. He’s torn between pulling Viktor closer and pushing him away; it’s feels too good, nothing like when Mieko feeds.

Viktor begins rocking against him as Yuuri’s dick gets hard again, letting out little growling sounds as he continues to suck. When he finally empties the breast, he lets go with a _pop_ , causing Yuuri to squirm. “You taste so good, _pryanichek_ , so sweet-” Viktor babbles as he nuzzles the other breast, biting lightly on the side. Since Yuuri’s breasts are small and that one is still full, the action causes a stream of milk to squirt out, hitting Viktor on the cheek. He sits back with a sputter and Yuuri covers his face, mortified.

“Oh, my god, Viktor, I’m so sorry, that’s never happened before,” he groans around his fingers, but Viktor is laughing, nudging Yuuri’s hands out of the way and kissing him silent.

“I am not complaining.” His head drops and he whispers, “You taste delicious. I’m jealous our daughter gets that all the time.”

“Wow, way to kill the mood,” Yuuri says, wrinkling his nose and shoving at Viktor’s shoulder.

“What, you’re completely scrumptious, Yuuri.”

“Please don’t talk about Mieko when we’re doing, you know, _that_ kind of stuff.” There’s a knock at the door and Viktor lets out a growl before shaking his head and wrapping a robe around himself as he goes to get the food. Yuuri uses the sheet to cover himself and hurries to the bathroom, avoiding looking at himself as he wets a washcloth and swipes to clean up the mess on his chest. There are a few red marks where Viktor had bitten down, and the full breast is tender, but he ignores it as he grabs a spare robe from the door of the bathroom and puts it on before joining Viktor in the main room.

They eat and drink, talking about what to do with the small amount of time Viktor has left before he needs to return to Russia. Yuuri still hasn’t mentioned that he knows that Viktor is lying about why he’s here, because Viktor has his reasons and Yuuri is pretty sure those reasons are because Mieko is in Detroit. He hates that there’s so much distance between them, but accepting Yakov’s offer would have opened up so many scandals and Yuuri knows he would never be taken seriously as a coach if he had accepted it. This way may be harder, but it’s better for Yuuri in the long run.

Once they’ve had their fill, Viktor picks him up and carries him back to the bed, sucking roughly on his gland, teeth sharp as they scrape across the skin there, but never biting down hard enough to form the bond. Unlike last time, where they start out slow, it’s quick and dirty and rough; Yuuri loves every moment of it, luxuriating in the feel of Viktor, the smell surrounding them, the fullness of the knot that locks them together over and over. As out of his mind as Viktor quickly becomes, they take care to make sure he uses a condom each time.

When they’re tied together, they talk, snack, hydrate, anything to pass the time. And when the rut finally breaks after a staggering 36 hours, Yuuri feels like he’ll never be able to close up again and Viktor just smirks and struts around. The metaphor _the cat who ate the canary_ comes to mind.

“I can’t wait to see Mieko,” Yuuri yawns as they soak in the bathtub. They’re tied together for what he hopes is the last time after one last wave had hit Viktor while they were showering. Yuuri hadn’t wanted to give up the chance to try out the huge tub in Viktor’s hotel bathroom and the alpha had been happy to indulge him; this way, he could satisfy his mating urge and the urge to care for someone he loves. He soaps up a washcloth and runs it over Yuuri’s back at chest as he talks. “I’ve never been away from her for so long before.”

“I’m sure she’s going to be very excited to see you,” Viktor replies absently as he continues to clean Yuuri.

“And you, Vicchan.”

Viktor lets out a hum and then sighs, letting go of the cloth and wrapping his arms around Yuuri and gently pushing him back so that he’s pressed against Viktor’s front.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to leave.”

It’s Yuuri’s turn to sigh, because after spending so much time together, he doesn’t want Vitkor to leave either, but they both have jobs and it’s not possible at this point in the season for them to be together for long. “European Championships.”

“What?”

“Europeans, they’re only a couple of weeks away, one of the skaters at the club qualified this year. I- I could ask Celestino if I can go with him, we could see each other then?”

Viktor squeezes him tightly, burying his face into the back of Yuuri’s neck. “I’d really like that, Yuuri.”

“I would too, and I know Mieko will too. And then, I bet Phichit will qualify for Worlds this year, too, so we can see each other then. We can work this out,” he adds, pressing confidence into his voice. “I… I’d like for us to work this out.”

“Are you serious about coming back next year?” Viktor asks out of nowhere.

“If I can, I’d like to.”

“You looked like you hadn’t let your form fall apart and your doubles are strong; I think with training, you could easily get your triples back by the time the next season starts. Can, or rather, could you do quads, before?”

“Ah, I could reliably land the quad loop in competition, but nothing else. My quad Salchow and flip are okay, but I was never confident enough to try them outside of the practice ring.”

Viktor hums and they sit there for a bit longer until the knot finally slips free. He whines when Yuuri stands up, but Yuuri refuses to stay in the water with come floating around in it, stepping back in the shower to rinse off. Viktor drains the tub before plastering himself to Yuuri’s back and they fall into the bed, exhausted. As anxious as Yuuri is to get back to Mieko, he also knows that he’ll need to recover before he can properly take care of her. Phichit is quick to assure him that Mieko is fine and they both fall into a deep sleep in fresh sheets, curled around each other.

888

Yuuri wants to punch Phichit when he smirks at them upon their return, but he’s too happy to see Mieko to care that much. He coos and cuddles her, refusing to let her go for very long before taking her back into his arms. Viktor is happy to curl around them both and Yuuri doesn’t miss the significant looks Phichit is shooting him whenever they’re pressed up against each other, but he knows better than to try to get Yuuri to talk about it now.

It seems to happen all too soon, Viktor’s looming departure a grey cloud over the rest of the visit. The last two nights, he convinces Yuuri to bring Mieko and stay with him at the hotel and Yuuri can’t resist the pull. It feels strangely comfortable, almost like they’re living together for those few days, playing pretend to what they can’t yet have.

And then the day comes and they’re at the airport. Yuuri doesn’t protest when Viktor holds Mieko for as long as possible, cooing and talking to her in Russian; he decides then that he should brush up on the language. It’s been a few years since he’s practiced it, having devoted all of his time to skating once he moved to America, but it shouldn’t be too hard to pick back up. If he has his way, Mieko will grow up knowing at least four different languages, though he secretly really wants her main one to be Japanese.

“I’ll miss you, my Yuuri,” Viktor says, holding Yuuri close to him.

“We’ll see each other soon,” Yuuri promises, wrapping his arms around Viktor in a tight hug, careful not to squish Mieko between them. “Call me as soon as you land, I don’t care what time it is.”

Viktor laughs, promising to do so before he kisses Mieko on the cheek and hands her over to Yuuri. Then, he cups Yuuri’s face in his hands and leans in. The kiss isn’t hot and dirty, but it’s sweet and long enough that Mieko kicks up a fuss, forcing Viktor to release Yuuri. “I’ll talk to you soon, Yuuri-kun.”

“Uhm, you can, if you want, I mean, you can call me Yuuchan.” The words come out stuttered but clear and Viktor’s face lights up; he obviously realizes the importance.

“I’ll see you soon, my Yuuchan, and my Michan.” After kissing each of their cheeks, he grabs his bags and heads to the security, bypassing the long line by virtue of his ticket. They watch him until he’s gone and then, heart heavy already, Yuuri takes them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, had part of Viktor's speech written since, like, chapter four or something.
> 
> Some of you already saw this, but this is now a series! The title of the series is compliments of StrangeStorm, and my tiny human, who looked at the different suggestions I received and picked that one out. IF I write any more, they will be one shots added to this. The first one is essentially what's going on with Viktor all the way from the end of the GPF in Sochi to when he sees Yuuri and Mieko. Feel free to throw prompts/ideas/chairs at me! I can't promise I'll write them, and I definitely won't be writing any until after this fic is finished (SPOILERS), but it's worth a shot.
> 
> Speaking of being finished, I'm looking at maaaaaaaaybe two more chapters? One of which is more of an epilogue than anything, but two is what I'm aiming for. Three is possible, though. Who knows? NOT ME ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	9. #SuckItChulanont

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of me winning CampNaNo, and therefore FINISHING THIS FUCKING MONSTER (yes, I know I cheated, just give me this), I'm posting this early-in-the-middle-of-the-night-because-fuck-you-insomnia. Since this is finished, I could also be convinced (re: bribed) to post the last chapter early too.

In the few weeks between Viktor leaving and the European Championships, Yuuri throws himself into his new job and his training. Celestino was right in that he knows the members of the skate club and can easily spot their weaknesses while they’re training. Celestino teaches him how to coach, but he also continues with Yuuri’s training when he begins taking to the ice once again, at the end of the day. Yuuri had tried to tell him that he was fine by himself, but Celestino was insistent that Yuuri would resume his training with him as his coach, and would stay late, giving him pointers and holding Mieko while Yuuri practiced. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to go back into competitive skating on the same level he was before Mieko was born, but Yuuri is determined to do whatever he can.

Celestino is also okay with him accompanying Lena and Aleksander, a Polish skater who had qualified for the first time, to the European Championships. Yuuri figures Celestino knows why he wants to go and is forever thankful for his coach that he doesn’t say anything about Viktor. He isn’t sure he’d ever be able to repay the man for all of his kindness, but he promises himself that he’ll prove that he’s worth Celestino’s time by returning the the Grand Prix Final and getting on the podium.

They arrive a few days before the competition and Aleksander immediately wants to go exploring. Mieko doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere, content in the quiet of the hotel room after a long flight. Yuuri waves them both off, telling them not to worry about waiting for him. Secretly, he's hoping that Viktor will text him back soon, letting him know his plane had landed, and then they can all go out together. Yuuri had never been to the Czech Republic before and it would be exciting to explore it with Viktor.

_Viktor:  
Just landed!!! (✿ ♥‿♥) can’t wait to see you both!_

Yuuri smiles at his phone, hand running up and down Mieko’s back slowly as she naps on his chest. 

_We’re at the hotel, let me know when you’re here. Room 45, Mieko’s napping_

He finds himself drifting after Viktor texts back a confirmation, the soothing motion of his hand as relaxing to Mieko as it is to him. He’s only just fallen asleep when his phone buzzes in his free hand, causing him to jump. He glances at the caller ID before picking up.

“Hello?”

“Were you sleeping, my Yuuri?”

Yuuri hums in agreement, hand rubbing Mieko’s back again as she fidgets in her sleep. “No, but I was getting there. Was waiting for you to get to the hotel.”

“We’re here now, I’m in my room. Do you want to go out today or do you want to stay in?”

“Shouldn’t you rest before the competition?”

“Not if it means getting to spend time with you and Michan.” Yuuri smiles at the name and they talk for a few more minutes before agreeing to go to one place nearby to visit and then to dinner, since it’s already afternoon. Yuuri manages to keep Mieko asleep, carefully laying her in the room’s bassinet before getting ready. A quick wipe down with a washcloth in the bathroom to get the general airplane funk off and a change of clothes, then it’s time to get Mieko ready. She’s starting to fuss for her lunch by the time a knock sounded on the door. Yuuri manages to get her latched as he walked over, glancing through the peephole and opening the door to let Viktor in. He coos at Mieko, finger brushing her cheek briefly before he straightens.

“Hello, Yuuchan.” He leans in, kissing Yuuri’s cheek, smiling gently as he pulls away. “Did you have a good flight?”

They chat as they leave, heading for the local zoo. By the time they arrive, Mieko is fully awake and staring at everything with big eyes. It’s her first time at a zoo and Viktor takes it upon himself to snap picture after picture, proclaiming that he needs to document this momentous occasion. Dinner is filled with local fare and they stay until night falls. Mieko has long fallen asleep in her sling as they walk back to the hotel, fingers intertwined and hands swinging lightly between them.

The next day, they’re at the rink for practice. Yuuri keeps an eye on Viktor while calling out to Aleksander whenever he spots a problem. Lena is networking while also watching Yuuri; he’s surprised to realize that he’s not actually nervous to do this. He feels confident in a way he rarely does as he coaches, feeling something warm bloom in his chest as Aleksander goes through his short without a single mistake after an hour of Yuuri throwing out advice.

Blades scraping against ice draws his attention away, though, as Viktor skates up to the barrier. He kisses Mieko where she’s babbling away in her sling, watching the ice with the same intensity that she always does. 

“Do you have any advice for me, Coach Yuuri?” Viktor asks teasingly.

“Your left leg is a bit sloppy coming out of that last quad,” Yuuri replies unthinkingly. His eyes bug out when he realizes what he just said; he actually corrected the Living Legend himself, he wants to melt into a puddle right here on the floor.

But Viktor only laughs and nods. “I’ll do my best to fix that, Coach.” He winks at Yuuri before taking off and Yuuri is Not Okay.

Yakov yells something at Viktor and Yuuri watches as he launches himself into a quad. His legs are both perfect.

888

After practice, even though he must be exhausted and sore, Viktor drags Yuuri out to a castle tour before treating him to dinner once again. The next day is the same: practice, with Viktor asking for Yuuri’s advice, followed by a visit to a local cathedral and dinner. The day before the short, however, Yuuri puts his foot down when Viktor tries to take them to the Miniuni - World of Miniatures.

“You need to rest, Viktor,” Yuuri says, pulling him in the direction of the hotel.

“But I want to spend time with both of you.” His pout is adorable, but Yuuri isn’t swayed.

“We can spend time together in the hotel room. Tomorrow is a big day and I refuse to let you not be at your best because you spent time you could have been resting walking all over Ostrava.”

When Viktor opens his mouth to argue, Yuuri adds, “Coach’s orders.” It’s gratifying to see Viktor flush red at that.

“Yes, Coach.”

Yuuri will blame his own redness at the bite of cold in the air, thank you very much.

Inside Viktor’s hotel room, they spend the night watching badly dubbed movies until it’s time for bed. Yuuri refuses to stay the night, claiming he needs to stay in his own room, but acquiesces to a kiss goodnight. Viktor puts everything he has into the kiss, leaving Yuuri panting and red-faced as he walks back to his room, Mieko asleep in her sling.

Then it’s the usual whirl of competition, though Yuuri is on a different side of it this time. Aleksander does well, placing fifth overall, and Viktor takes the gold, barely edging out his rinkmate, Yuri Plisetsky, who looks furious. Yuuri is surprised to see that the young man actually joins them for dinner that night, complaining the entire time, but blushing furiously when Yuuri compliments his program. He keeps looking at Mieko, little glances, until Yuuri finally asks, “Do you want to hold her?”

“Eh, what?”

“I know you and Phichit are in a competition for favorite uncle, I thought this might give you an edge,” Yuuri lies easily. It’s obvious that Yuri just really wants to hold the baby. Yuuri remembers vaguely reading about how he’s the main source of income for his family and guesses that he helps with his younger siblings as well.

“ _Da_ , I do need to post something to get back at him,” Yuri says, reaching for Mieko. They watch, amused, as Yuri sets up the shot, including sliding his sunglasses and a set of cat ears on Mieko. She handles this shockingly well, just long enough for Yuri to get a couple of pictures before she rips the ears off of her head and sticks them in her mouth.

[image.jpeg][image.jpeg][image.jpeg]  
 **yuri_plisetsky** #TigerInTraining #BestUncleEver #SuckItChulanont

Yuri doesn’t hand Mieko back until they’re back at the hotel, the baby fast asleep in his arms. He holds her gently, but with an easy confidence that comes from holding babies often. He mutters something in Russian as he places her back in Yuuri’s arms, Viktor chuckling and earning a glare.

“Goodnight, Yura, I’ll see you in the morning,” Viktor says, winking.

“Whatever, old man.” Yuri storms away, off to his own room while Viktor walks Yuuri to the one he shares with Lena and Aleksander.

“Goodnight, my Yuuri.” He leans in, gently kissing Yuuri, before pressing an equally gentle kiss to Mieko’s head. “Worlds, _da_?”

“Worlds,” Yuuri confirms. “I’ll be there.”

“It will be too long without you, Yuuchan,” Viktor says sadly. “I will try to visit when I can.”

“Us, too.”

They linger, neither wanting to move away first, until Viktor ducks back in for another kiss, longer, sweeter, and lingering, before he turns and walks away. Yuuri watches him until he disappears, and then slips into his shared room and gets ready for bed.

888

They don’t get to see each other before the World Championships. Yuuri is kept busy with coaching and taking care of Mieko, while Viktor is gearing up for the Russia Cup Final in mid-February. The Four Continents is set to begin right after, so while Viktor is skating there, Phichit and Yuuri are traveling to South Korea with a pair skating couple from the skate club and a few coaches and, of course, Mieko. The group goes sight seeing and samples native dishes between the competitions, and Yuuri isn’t able to contain his pride when Phichit comes in first.

Yuuri watches Viktor’s competition online later, after their plane has landed and they’ve kept themselves busy so they can adjust to the new timezone, and feels warm as Viktor takes the gold yet again from Yuri Plisetsky, though by a slightly smaller margin than Europeans. He looks tired when they have their nightly video call, but seeing Mieko always cheers him up. Yuuri shows him the tooth that’s barely cut through the gum and Viktor gets excited, despite the fact that Yuuri is pretty sure that Viktor can’t actually see anything through the pixilated image.

“How’s your skating, Yuuri? Have you still been practicing?”

Yuuri nods, wincing as the sharp bits of tooth dig into the finger Mieko has in her mouth. “Yes, usually after the actual skaters are finished practicing. Celestino and Phichit stay with me.”

“Good, that’s good, Yuuri.” Viktor stares off in the distance as he says this and jumps when Yuuri clears his throat.

“Are you okay, Vicchan?

“Hm? Oh, of course, _pryanichek_. I’m just a little lost in thought today. Yura is getting better all the time, did you see his performance?”

“ _Hai_ , he’s very good. He’ll give you a run for your money soon.”

“ _Da, da_ , he will, very soon.” 

“Viktor?”

Viktor shakes his head and aims a bright smile at Yuuri. “Don’t worry about me, my Yuuri, I will be fine. Come, tell me more about how that routine is coming along. Have you managed a triple yet?”

888

To Yuuri, Worlds comes slowly, and all at once. 

It creeps on some days, when he longs to see Viktor, wishes that his alpha was close to him, the days when just talking to Viktor chokes him with overwhelming want. It drags as he practices and practices his ‘routine’ at Vitkor’s insistence. Over and over until all of a sudden, it’s the end of March and time to start packing for the World Championships.

Helsinki is warmer than Yuuri expected, though the air is crisp and fresh after being in an airplane. Mieko sleeps on in her sling, even with the bumping of the aircraft and the noise of everyone on the plane trying to get off at the exact same time. Yuuri and the rest of the skate club stayed in their seats, waiting for the majority of people to get off before getting up and grabbing their bags. The checked bags carrying their gear take longer to retrieve, but soon they’re stepping out into the bright sunlight of Finland.

“Where to first?” Phichit asks as they load into a taxi van. In addition to Celestino, Lena, and Yuuri, Phichit, two women, and an ice dance pair are there for the championships, and they all cram in together to ride to the hotel.

“We can go to,” Nathan squints at his phone, “Suomenlinna,” he tries, butchering the pronunciation if the wince the driver gives is any indication. “It’s a 19th century sea fortress.”

“Eighteenth century,” the driver grunts as they pull away from the airport. “It’s on the other side of the city.”

“Maybe another day, then,” Nathan says glumly.

He and Phichit go back and forth other the different places to visit while Yuuri takes his phone out of airplane mode and waits for his messages to come through. There’s two from Mari, one from his mom, six from Minako, who appeared to be drunk-texting him, a few from various friends, but none from the one person he wants to hear from.

“Aw, no messages from lover boy?” Kaetlyn teases from the back, ignoring Phichit when he pokes her side.

“I don’t think the Russian team has landed yet,” Lena says without looking up from her phone.

“Stop being a pest,” Nathan adds.

“If you lot don’t stop fighting,” Celestino threatens impotently. The rest of the ride is in mostly silence, with Nathan and Phichit occasionally calling out suggestions for places to visit interspersed with the various chimes of phones going off as they all caught up with the world from the past few hours they had been in the air.

Mieko wakes up just as they pull up to the hotel, fussing to be let out of her car seat almost immediately. Yuuri does his best to sooth her, but the crying gets progressively worse as they go through the check in process. He sees the looks people are giving him and wishes desperately that Mieko would calm down for just a few minutes until they get settled.

“Aw, _moy zoloto_ , what’s wrong?” 

Yuuri nearly jumps out of his skin when Viktor suddenly appears beside him, talking to Mieko. “V-Viktor! What are you- I didn’t know you were already here!”

Viktor pulls Mieko out of her car seat and she immediately quiets, sniffling into Viktor’s neck. “My phone met with an unfortunate accident on the plane,” Viktor says morosely as he rubs a soothing hand over Mieko’s back.

“This idiot got excited when he got a text from you and spilled water on it,” Yuri says, popping up on Viktor’s other side.

“Yura!” Viktor whines, but he smiles down at the boy anyway. “You’re so mean.”

“Whatever, old geezer, pass me the baby already.” Despite the annoyed tone of his words, he looks anxious to take Mieko.

“No, I just got her!”

“Don’t fight over her,” Yuuri says before it can devolve into more.

“Besides, we all know she likes me better, Plisetsky,” Phichit adds, and Yuuri groans.

Luckily, Celestino finishes checking them in and saves Yuuri the headache of a bunch of international level competitive skaters fighting over an almost seven month old. He hands out room keys to the group and talks to Viktor for a moment before hustling their group to the elevators. Yuuri and Phichit are rooming together and when Kaetlyn makes a pitying remarks about the baby crying at night, Phichit just shrugs.

“I mean, she sleeps in the same room with me every night, I’m used to it.”

They ride up to their floor in two separate lifts and Phichit makes sure they’re in a different one than her. She’s rubbed Phichit wrong since the day they met and he goes out of his way to avoid her if he can. Viktor and Yuri follow them, still fighting over the baby all the way into the room.

“Vicchan, just let him hold her for a bit,” Yuuri finally says, dropping his bags onto the bed and setting Mieko’s car seat down. Once Viktor, pouting, hands over the baby, he turns to Yuuri and sweeps him up into a tight hug.

“Have I mention how hot it is when you call me Vicchan?” he murmurs in Yuuri’s ear. Yuuri’s fists tighten in the fabric of Viktor’s jacket and he shivers.

“Stop being gross, you two,” Yuri complains, and they break apart, though Viktor takes Yuuri’s hand in his.

“So, where to first?” Viktor asks, looking confused when Phichit and Yuuri laugh.

They go to the old Olympic stadium, checking out the museum there. Yuuri looks contemplative and when the other two pull ahead, bickering, Viktor asks, “Is there something wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You look lost in thought.”

“I was just thinking what it might feel like to stand at the top of an Olympic podium, that’s all.”

“You’ll see, my Yuuri, one day. I promise you that.”

888

They wander, for the most part, that day, collecting Christophe Giacometti when he lands, and then, to the astonishment of everyone, Otabek Altin at Yuri’s insistence. The group of them wander around and Mieko gets passed to everyone in turn, including Otabek, who regards her with the same solemn expression that she gives him. After a moment, where Yuuri is sure she’ll start crying, she leans forward with a yawn and tucks herself into his warmth.

“I have two little sisters,” Otabek grunts when he realizes everyone is staring at him.

“You obviously know what you’re doing,” Yuuri agrees, and that’s the end of it. By the time he’s joined them, they’re already on their way to dinner after grabbing Nathan as well, finding a quiet place for their large group to eat. Once they’re settled in, Viktor leans in close to Yuuri.

“Will you come with me tonight?”

“What?”

“Tonight, after we get back to the hotel, will you come with me? Yura said he would watch Mieko if Phichit can’t.”

Yuuri can’t help but chuckle at that. “I’m almost certain that Phichit would fight him. But where are we going?”

“It’s a secret,” Viktor says with a wink. “But we won’t be gone long.”

Yuuri stays silent for a long moment, considering it. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll go.”

The look of bright happiness that lights up Viktor’s face doesn’t leave for the rest of the night, not even when Mieko throws up on him seconds after being passed back over. When they get back to the hotel, Phichit takes Mieko while they’re in the lobby and almost immediately gets into an argument with Yuri about who is going to watch her.

“Where are we going?” Yuuri asks as Viktor leads him back out of the hotel.

“It’s a secret, remember?”

Yuuri rolls his eyes, but doesn’t press, following along all the way until they get to the Hartwell Arena. “What’s going on?”

“You’ll see.” Viktor doesn’t offer any other words and Yuuri can’t do much more than follow him.

“Vicchan, are you sure we’re supposed to be here?”

“I have permission, I promise it will be okay.”

Sure enough, the building is unlocked and they’re able to slip inside without issue. The bag that Viktor has been carrying all day is still on his back, sliding off only when they get to the bench at the edge of the rink, and he immediately starts digging through it.

“Viktor, what is going on?”

Viktor straightens up, holding, astonishingly, Yuuri’s boots. “You, my Yuuchan, are hopefully going to skate for me.”

“What?”

“I’ve been wanting to see your routine now that you’ve perfected it-”

“It’s not perfect-”

“-and now is just as good a time as any.” When Yuuri doesn’t say anything, he adds, “Please?”

“It’s not perfect,” Yuuri repeats warningly as he sits on the bench and begins unlacing his shoes. 

“I know, but I want to see it again.” Viktor is beaming at him as Yuuri ties his skates tightly and together they walk over to the entrance. Yuuri hands Viktor his skate guards, glasses, and his phone, setting it on the music for the routine.

“What’s it called?”

Yuuri’s ears burn, but he says, “I decided to call it Yuuri On Ice.”

“Amazing.”

Yuuri pushes away from the brightness in Viktor’s eyes, skating laps around the ice to warm up, flexing his arms to stretch out the kinks. Once he feels loose enough, he skates to the center of the ice and nods to Viktor.

The piece has only been finished for a couple of weeks now, thanks to his friend agreeing to redo it. There’s more energy, more softness, more love than what he had originally. It’s a story; the story of Yuuri building his life to the point he’s at now, growing as a skater and a person, accepting things as they come and not dwelling over the past the way he once had. Having a child changes you. Some people for the better, some people for the worst. Mieko is a blessing for Yuuri, a stable piece of the puzzle that is his life, and who brought him closer to Viktor in a way that he never could have imagined. Maybe they would have been friends, maybe enemies, maybe a one night stand that Viktor would quickly forget about, maybe Viktor would have never seen Yuuri at all, they would never know. But now Viktor was not the center of Yuuri’s world, wasn’t his sole inspiration in life, the person Yuuri strived to be. Yuuri could be his own person and do great things, and Viktor would be there to cheer him on.

He’s rambling in his head, he realizes, even as his body goes through the motions of the routine. His doubles have become triples over the past couple of months, but he hasn’t attempted to do a quad yet. _Maybe it’s time to try_ , Yuuri thinks.

Taking a deep breath, he sets up the jump and-

-Viktor’s cheer sounds through the rink as Yuuri lands the quad flip at the end of his routine. Yuuri finishes with his arm outstretched towards Viktor, who is clapping wildly on the sidelines. Panting, Yuuri takes off towards him, only for Viktor to launch himself at Yuuri the moment he’s close enough, kissing him with abandon even as they fell backwards onto the ice.

“Yuuri, that was so beautiful,” Viktor whispers in the small space between their lips.

He squirms, uncomfortable with the praise, but enjoying it nonetheless. They’re interrupted then by a voice saying something in Russian and when Viktor gets off of him and helps him up, Yuuri is surprised to see Yakov standing there, looking at Yuuri with avid consideration. He’s still talking to Viktor, but Yuuri has no idea what about. Viktor replies and Yakov nods, bidding Yuuri a farewell before he leaves them.

“What was that about?” Yuuri asks.

“I wanted Yakov to see you preform.”

“I gathered as much, Viktor, but why?”

Viktor stays quiet, handing Yuuri his skate guards. When Yuuri sits to switch out his shoes again, Viktor sits next to him. “I wanted to know if he saw what I saw, or if I was just too blinded by my love to see the truth.”

Yuuri blushes, the way he does every time Viktor so casually says he loves Yuuri. “What do you see? What did _he_ see?”

“A very good skater with a lot of talent.” Viktor smiles over at Yuuri and helps him stand, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.

“Vicchan…”

“Come on, Yuuri, I want to see Mieko. They kept taking her away from me today,” Viktor pouts.

Sensing that Viktor will tell him everything in his own time, Yuuri follows him out into the night and back to the hotel. Phichit and Yuri are in Yuuri’s shared room, arguing over who Mieko loves more, while Otabek sits on the couch with her propped up on his stomach, playing what looks like patty cake with her, though he’s not using English.

“Phichit, you’re five years older than him, why are you fighting like you’re kids?” Yuuri says, dropping onto his bed.

“Yuuuuuuuuriiiiii, tell him Mieko likes me better,” Phichit whines.

“I think she likes Otabek better at this point.”

“Yuuuuuuuuuriiiiiiiiiiii…”

Viktor laughs at Phichit’s dramatics, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss Mieko on her chubby cheek. She immediately reaches for him, little hands grasping for his hair as Otabek lets her go. “She likes me better,” he says smugly, wincing when she pulls. He carefully untangles her fingers as he talks to her in Russian and sits in the other couch in the living room.

“She likes you all,” Yuuri groans, kicking off his shoes and flexing his toes with a sigh. Phichit gives him a significant look, glance darting towards Viktor, and it suddenly occurs to Yuuri that Viktor likely got his boots from Phichit. It stands to reason that Phichit is dying of curiosity, too. Yuuri shrugs and shakes his head, mouth tilting into a frown.

_Later_ , he mouths, with a look at the others. Yuri has joined Otabek on the couch, the two leaning close together as he complains about having to watch the baby while Viktor flounced off to who-knew-where. Yuuri gets up and sits next to Viktor, who automatically cuddles close to him. Mieko sits in both of their laps, giggling as they play with her, babbling in Russian and Japanese.

[image.jpeg][image.jpeg]  
 **phichit+chu** _Cuteness overload ٩(*ゝڡ◕๑)۶♥ #BestUncleEver_

The group breaks up, each to their separate rooms to get some rest before the next day, when practice would start. Yuuri kisses Viktor good night at the door, Mieko already asleep in her bassinet. He cards his finger through Viktor’s hair, coming up on his toes as Viktor wraps his arms around his waist. Viktor lets out a small moan, inhaling through his nose as he pulls Yuuri in close.

“What was that for?” he asks quietly.

“I just really missed you and didn’t get to do that earlier.”

Viktor chuckles low in his throat, swooping in to give him another kiss, shorter and softer than before. “We’ll spend as much time together as possible, I promise.”

“Good night, Vitya.”

“Good night, Yuuchan.”

Another kiss and he’s gone. Yuuri shuts the door and ignores the looks that Phichit gives him, rolling his eyes as he changes for bed. One last check on Mieko before they’re turning off the lights and sleep overcomes him.

888

True to his word, Yuuri once again finds that they spend any time together when Viktor isn’t practicing and Yuuri isn’t coaching. He’s usually working with Phichit and Nathan while Lena works with the girls and Celestino works with the pair team, so he’s at least typically in the same rink as Viktor. Once Yuuri’s students are done, Viktor manages to weasel his way out of his own practice and they go on an adventure together. Sometimes they’re joined by the other skaters, but just as often, they’re alone. Worlds goes on slightly longer than most competitions, so they make the most of the extended time they have.

In the end, Phichit comes in fifth, with Nathan in third, and Viktor once again winning gold over Yuri, though by the smallest margin so far, .43 of a point. Yuuri cheers for them all, Mieko waving her arms around in her sling. After the ceremony is over, Viktor limps over, favoring his left leg.

“Mieshka, did you see Papa out there?” he says, pulling her from her sling and smothering her with kisses.

“Mieshka?”

Viktor blushes, shrugging. “It’s a Russian diminutive, I thought it was the best fit for her name.”

“You gave her Michan, let her have the other side of her heritage,” Yuri grumbles from where he’s popped up on the other side of Yuuri.

“No, that’s not- I didn’t mean it like that, I just hadn’t heard him call her that before, I wasn’t sure-”

“Whatever, idiot, tell him to give up the baby.”

Yuuri just rolls his eyes as they fight over Mieko, watching fondly as Yuri manages to steal her from Viktor and starts talking to her in Russian. She watches him with a serious look on her face before reaching out and grabbing Yuri’s nose. Yuri simply tilts his chin up, blowing a raspberry on her palm and making her laugh.

“Vicchan, are you okay?”

“Ah.” Viktor looks embarrassed at the question. “I- The landing on my last jump, it shook my ankle a bit, that’s all. It’s only a little sore.”

“Viktor, you need to see the medics.”

He waves that away and sits on a nearby bench, unlacing his skates. “I’ll be fine, my Yuuri.” But Yuuri can’t help the feeling of worry welling inside him as he watches Viktor roll his ankle back and forth once it’s free from the boot. With a quick glance at Yuri, who is still keeping Mieko entertained, he kneels down in front of Vitkor and carefully takes his foot, setting it on his thigh. “Yuuri…”

“Just let me look at it, Viktor.”

He sighs, but doesn’t protest further as Yuuri runs his hand over the bone, watching Viktor’s face as he moves his foot. When a wince slips through, he gestures over to one of the medics nearby. “I think he’s got a sprain.”

The medic nods and takes Yuuri’s place, putting Viktor’s foot through the same treatment. People are milling around, some leaving, some hanging around, but several stop to stare at them, whispering behind their hands as they passed.

“A mild strain, that’s all. Keep off that ankle for a week, ice, elevate.” She digs around in her bag for a moment before pulling out a rolled-up Ace bandage and starts wrapping his foot for him.

“All of that, yes, I know,” Viktor sighs, removing his foot from the medic as soon as she’s done.

She gives him an unimpressed stare. “You’re not as young as you once were, Mr. Nikiforov.”

“ _Da_ , I will be careful.” When she leaves, Yuuri comes to sit by him, taking his hand.

“Viktor?”

“You heard her, Yuuri, it’s just a mild strain, I’ll be back on my feet in no time!” The smile he shoots Yuuri is utterly unconvincing.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the hotel.” Viktor doesn’t fight it when Yuuri wraps an arm around his waist, leaning on him as they gather their daughter and head back to the hotel, Yuri, Phichit, and Chris in tow, after everyone gets changed out. Viktor doesn’t stop leaning on him, but everyone is walking slowly anyway, feet tired after days of competing.

“Yuuri, will you come with me to my room? I want to talk to you about something,” Viktor asks quietly as they enter the hotel room.

“S-Sure. Do you want me to get Mieko?”

“If you want.”

Mieko, it turns out, refuses to leave Otabek, leaning to go to him as soon as she sees him across the lobby. He stoically takes her when he gets close enough and promises to take her up to Yuuri’s room with Phichit and hang out until Yuuri gets back. Yuuri follows Viktor to his room, settling him on the couch before sitting beside him. They turn to face each other and Yuuri swallows nervously at the serious look on Viktor’s face.

“What do you want to talk about?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I KNOW I'M EVIL on the other hand, not that sorry （╯ ͡° ل͜ ͡°）╯︵ ┻━┻
> 
> Shoutout to anon user effie for giving me "Mieshka" for Mieko's Russian nickname! I had been planning on using one at some point, but hadn't had the time to look it up because I Am A Very Busy Person.
> 
> Also, the names of the other skaters are taken from staring at the different figure skating wiki pages.


	10. Yeah, I guess they did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, my dudes, the final chapter. This ended up being more time-jumping-epilogue, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. Please don't tell me if you don't like it.

“Yuuri, I know you’re still wondering why I had Yakov watch you perform. I- The medic was right, I’m not getting any younger, and it’s getting harder to bounce back from injuries. I could have been back on the ice a couple of days after a minor injury five years ago, not a week. You know as well as anyone that ice skaters are only competitive for a short time. I think-” Viktor stops and sighs, reaching out to take Yuuri’s hand and holding it between both of his. “Yuuri, I think I’ve reached the end of my time. I was already thinking about quitting after this season and now, I think that might be for the best. Yura is already getting closer and closer to beating me and I think… I think I’d rather go out on top.

“But that doesn’t explain why I had Yakov watch you. When I first started thinking I might retire, the only thing I could think of doing with my free time was being with you. You and Mieko, watching her grow and learning to be someone other than Living Legend Viktor Nikiforov, hopefully with you by my side. And I kept remembering how you said you wanted to return to skating and that beautiful program you skated; even when it was incomplete, it was so amazing. You make music with your body, Yuuri, and you should be able to share your talent with the world. But I didn’t know if I was biased by the feelings I have for you, so I asked Yakov to sit in and Yuuri, he thinks you’re good. Which is Yakov-speak for really amazing.”

Yuuri is gaping at Viktor, not sure where this is going and overwhelmed by what he’s being told. He realizes that his hand is clenching tightly around Viktor’s and forces himself to loosen his grip. “Viktor, I don’t- What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that when I announce my retirement, I would also like to announce that I’m going to be coaching Katsuki Yuuri’s comeback to the world of ice skating.”

“Viktor, you can’t!”

“I can. This is what I want. I hope it’s what you want, too.”

“I can’t, the rink- Detroit and Celestino, I signed a contract-”

“Celestino agrees with me that you belong on the ice, Yuuri,” Viktor says over Yuuri’s frantic rambling. “I spoke with him a couple of days later, he also thinks that it would be a good idea for you to make a comeback. You’re already so advanced on your routine and with some work, we can get you back to doing quads by the time the next season starts.”

“Viktor…”

“Yuuri.” Viktor’s fingers come up to Yuuri’s chin, tilting his face back up when he hadn’t even realized it had fallen. “Do you trust me?”

“I do.”

“Then believe me when I tell you that you can do this, and I will be by your side every step of the way.”

“Where would we practice?”

“Wherever you want.”

“What about Mieko?”

“What about her? We’ll take her with us wherever we go and she’ll stand on the sidelines with me and cheer you on.”

Yuuri flounders for a moment, trying to think of another excuse, before he realizes that’s exactly what he’s doing. An excuse to not have everything he wants so, so _desperately badly_. He’s his own worst enemy, pushing away what he wants out of fear that he’s not good enough. Not a good enough skater to make a comeback, not a good enough person to have Viktor, not enough to have both of those things in his life.

“Do you really think I can do it?” Yuuri whispers, his eyes dropping despite the hold Viktor still has on his chin.

“Yuuchan, there’s not a doubt in my mind that you can.”

888

“Viktor, what are your plans for next season!”

Viktor taps a finger over his mouth, eyes darting to where Yuuri and Mieko are standing on the sidelines. He can feel his lips curling into a soft smile as he looks back at the reporter. “Next season, I plan to be at the rinkside with my daughter as I coach her mother all the way up to the top of the podium.”

Pandemonium explodes with the announcement, but Viktor ignores it, throwing out a quick, “No more questions” before standing and walking off of the stage. Yuuri reaches out without hesitation, threading their fingers together as they walk out of the press room.

888

The first thing they have to decide is where to make their home rink. Yuuri isn’t quite comfortable leaving Detroit so soon after moving there, worrying about uprooting Mieko yet again and not having as strong of a support system in Russia, despite Yuri being begrudgingly friendly to him.

“Why not go back home?” Viktor asks one night, curled around Yuuri in his bed. Yuuri and Mieko had finally been able to come to visit Viktor in Russia after the competitive season dies down. Most skaters are taking a short break before returning to the grind of practice and so Yuuri’s coaching assistance isn’t needed. Mieko is sleeping soundly in a playpen not far from the bed; there’s not enough room in Viktor’s one bedroom apartment for a crib and he’s reluctant to move until they figure out where they’re going to make their home rink.

“What, to Hasetsu?”

“Yes. I looked into it, I know you learned to skate at the Ice Castle rink. We could go back, start from the beginning of it all.”

“It would be nice to be back with my family,” Yuuri admits. “But what about you? Wouldn’t you miss being here, in Russia? This is your home, Viktor.”

Viktor nudges Yuuri onto his back and hovers over him, looking him in the eye. “Yuuri, _you_ are my home now. You and Mieko are my family. I will happily follow you to the ends of the Earth.”

“Vicchan…” Yuuri whispers as he melts into the bed. He doesn’t stop the desire to pull Viktor down into a kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck. The only sounds that night are the rustle of sheets and noises muffled by each other's mouths.

888

Hasetsu hasn’t changed much in the few months that Yuuri has been gone. The people move around on their daily business, the waves of the ocean crash against the shore, the birds call out to each other. It’s peaceful in a way that Detroit never could be.

“Yuuuuuuriiiii, this place is so beautiful,” Viktor exclaims, attempting to drag Yuuri out of the onsen. “Come on, show me around!”

“Vicchan, we need to unpack,” Yuuri scolds, tugging him back. “And Mieko is sleeping.”

“Go on, Yuuchan,” _Okaasan_ says, popping up next to them. “Show your Vicchan around.”

Yuuri is thankful that Viktor’s Japanese is still in the beginning stages, his ears burning. “He’s not _my_ Vicchan, _Okaasan_ ,” he mutters.

His mother just smiles knowingly at him. “Go, Yuuchan, I will make sure Mieko is taken care of.”

Yuuri gives him mother an exasperated look, but allows Viktor, who clearly realizes he’s won this battle, to pull him outside. He takes him to his favorite food shop, since they’re only just arrived in Hasetsu a couple of hours ago and they’re both hungry, then for a walk on the beach. Viktor twines their fingers together and doesn’t let go, even using it to his advantage to drag Yuuri to Hasetsu Castle when he learns that it’s also a ninja house. Finally, they end up at Ice Castle and Yuuri leads Viktor inside.

“I’m sorry, we’re closed!” a voice calls out.

Yuuri smiles, leaning over the counter to call, “Even for me, Yuuchan? Or the Living Legend himself, Viktor Nikiforov?”

There’s a _thunk_ and a squeal before Yuuko launches herself out of the back room, meeting Yuuri halfway over the counter and pulling him into a hug. “Yuuri, you’re home! Why didn’t I know you were coming back! How could Hiroko keep this from me!”

“I asked her not to tell anyone,” Yuuri replies, laughing as he hugs her back. “Minako found out, of course, she’s scary that way, but no one else. I thought it might be the best idea until we’re settled in.” They let go of each other and straighten on their own sides of the counter. Yuuri switches to English as he says, “Viktor Nikiforov, this is Nishigori Yuuko, owner of Ice Castle Hasetsu. Yuuko, this is Viktor; he’s going to be my coach.”

Yuuri swears that the squeal she lets out at that can be heard all over Hasetsu. Of course, she immediately demands that they make the Ice Castle their home rink and when her triplet daughters pop up, Viktor obligingly gives them autographs and takes selfies with them. Yuuri and Yuuko watch them, smiles on both of their faces.

“So he’s really going to be your coach?” she asks quietly.

“He really is.”

“It’s like all of our childhood dreams came true for you after all, huh?”

Yuuri can’t help but smile wider, remembering a similar conversation almost a year ago. “Yeah, I guess they did.”

888

Yuuri trains, and trains hard. For all of Viktor’s flakiness, he’s a vicious taskmaster, pushing Yuuri harder and harder. He expects him to do well and doesn’t take anything less than absolute perfection.

In the quiet of the onsen, though, he’s sweet and generous, rubbing Yuuri’s aching feet and back, getting up in the middle of the night on the rare occasions that Mieko doesn’t sleep through. More often than not, he’s the one that gets up with her in the mornings, feeding her from one of the bottles of pumped milk, practicing his slowly-improving Japanese on Hiroko and Toshiya while they ready the inn for the day's guests.

“Now that you are back to fighting shape and able to do triples easily again, I think it’s time we begin working on routines,” Viktor says one day after practice. He’s holding Mieko’s hands and the two of them are walking back and forth in front of Yuuri, who’s taking off his skates. “There are a few things I want to refine on your Yuri On Ice, which will be good for your free skate, but I was thinking about your short program. Do you have any thoughts on that?”

“Uh, no, usually I let my coach pick my music and choreograph for me. Yuri On Ice is the first one I’ve ever done on my own.”

The look Viktor gives him is nothing short of amazement, eyes shining brightly as he stares at Yuuri. “You are something else, Katsuki Yuuri. Okay, well, I was thinking. I had two arrangements set up for this years competition for myself, before I decided to retire. I couldn’t decide, anyway, which to use, though I created programs for both. One, I think, will be perfect for you.” He sends Yuuri a wink on their next pass, Mieko’s fat legs marching. “Eros, sexual love.”

Yuuri chokes on his spit. “What?”

“Come on, Yuuri, your Eros is what attracted me to you in the first place!” Viktor gets a far off look in his eyes, the one that only shows up when they talk about Sochi. “Such Eros…”

“Vicchan!”

A little later, as they’re walking home, Mieko propped up on Viktor’s hip, Yuuri asks, “Do you really think I could pull it off?”

Viktor smiles softly down at him, sincere for once. “Yuuri, I’m holding the evidence of your Eros in my arms right now. I _know_ you can.” Without pausing his steps, he leans over and kisses Yuuri.

“Tūd!” Mieko cheers.

“That’s right-”

“Oh my god, I’m going to kill Phichit.”

888

Viktor begins teaching Yuuri the program the next day, skating out onto the ice solo while Yuuri holds onto Mieko at the barrier. Once the music starts and Viktor begins moving, Yuuri’s face heats up just from watching it.

“So, what do you think?” Viktor asks when he slides to a stop, taking Mieko when she begins reaching for him.

“I don’t think I can compete this season.”

Viktor frowns, concerned. “Why not?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant again.”

“What- How- We’re so careful-”

“From watching you perform, Vicchan,” Yuuri laughs.

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, but when they do, Viktor starts laughing as well. “Well, then you should do it as well, to make things even with us.”

“Viktor, no one is going to want to see me do… _that_. I’m hardly a sex idol like you.”

Viktor leans in close, tilting Yuuri’s face up so that their lips brush with every word. “Yuuri, if you can seduce me, you can seduce the world.” He seals that promise with a kiss before releasing Yuuri and skating backwards with Mieko still in his arms. “Now, come out here and show me your Eros, my Yuuchan.”

888

Mieko turns one right before the competitive season really starts in earnest. Viktor insists on a party and it turns into a who’s who of figure skating, with friends from all different countries flying in for the occasion. Coach Yakov and his ex-wife, prima ballerina Lilia Baranovskaya, even come. Minako and Lilia already know each other, having met several times over the length of their impressive careers, and Yakov becomes fast friends with Toshiya, despite the language barrier. Or perhaps because of the alcohol Toshiya brings out.  
  
“Yuuri, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” Mari asks, eyeing the skaters gathered in the banquet room of the inn.

“No, you creep,” Yuuri says back in Japanese. 

“So rude! I will introduce you, Mari,” Viktor says, winking at Yuuri as he leads Mari over to where Chris and his boyfriend are holding court with some of the other skaters.

 _Suck up_ , Yuuri thinks, rolling his eyes in their direction before wandering over to the guest of honor and stealing her away from her _obaasan_. “Your papa is so silly, isn’t he, Michan?”

“Papa tūd!”

“As much as I wish you wouldn’t say that, yes, he is,” Yuuri says with a sigh, throwing a fondly exasperated look in Viktor’s direction.

“Mieko! My favorite girl!” Phichit yells, swooping in to take her from Yuuri. “Did you miss your favorite uncle?”

“Phichit, you’ve been here for three days already, you act like she hasn’t seen you.”

“Whatever, loser, you know she likes me better.” Yuri pops up on Phichit’s other side. “Hand her over to her real favorite uncle!”

Yuuri walks away, not wanting to hear _that_ conversation again. At least Mieko will be entertained.

Her gifts are an eclectic bunch from several different countries, though Yuri’s are easy to tell apart just for the sheer amount of animal print. Mieko is out early, exhausted from the day, but the rest of them stay up late into the night, catching up before competitions can overtake their lives and turn them against each other, if only for a few days. She has her own cake to smash to pieces, inevitably getting all over her clothes and hair, while everyone else enjoys another cake.

[image.jpeg][image.jpeg][image.jpeg][image.jpeg][image.jpeg]  
**v-nikiforov** _Mieshka’s first birthday #HowTimeFlies #TheyGrowUpSoFast #HappyFirstBirthdayMieko_

[image.jpeg][image.jpeg][image.jpeg]  
**y-katsuki** _#HappyFirstBirthdayMieko I love this girl more than anything in the world, I don’t know what I would do without my Michan [heart][cake][party popper]_

888

Yuuri’s first competition is on the regional level, since he missed up the previous season and messed up the one before that. They travel alone to the Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu Championships, Mieko staying behind with her _obaachan_ at the onsen, since they’re not to far away. Yuuri walks away with a gold medal, a bloody nose, and a host of young skaters begging for his autograph.

“So, Yuuri, have you decided what your theme?” Viktor asks when they’re back in the hotel. Yuuri has as much of his body below the hot water of the tub as he can, longing to soak in the onsen, and Viktor is doing his nightly skincare routine.

“Hm?”

“Your theme, do you know what you want it to be this year?”

Yuuri smiles, thinking of the past two years; his daughter, his family, his cheerleaders like Yuuko and Minako, his Vicchan. Because he was lying to his mother when he said Viktor wasn’t his; he’s just as much Yuuri’s as Yuuri is his. He knows that now. “Love.”

888

The season moves forward, barreling towards the Grand Prix Final. Yuuri barely makes it, his second place win in the Cup of China making up for his fourth place at the Rostelecom Cup after Mieko comes down sick. Viktor stays with her in the hotel after asking Yakov to help coach Yuuri during the free skate. As hard as he tried, his mind was miles away, hoping his baby girl would be feeling better soon.

In the end, it’s just a touch of a cold and she’s better by the time they leave Russia. Yuri had pressed a bag into his hands before they left the hotel, muttering that they were from his grandpa, since it was Yuuri’s birthday, and that Yuuri had better enjoy all the hard work that had been put into them. Inside were bun things that Viktor informs him are called _pirozhki_ as he flitches one from the bag. The moan he lets out is obscene and Yuuri makes it his mission to learn how to make them, just so he can hear that sound again.

The Final comes way too fast and not fast enough. They’re in Marseille before Yuuri knows it.

“Yuuchan, let’s go shopping!” Viktor says, flopping down on top of Yuuri, who groans under the weight.

“Vitya, let me sleep.”

“No, you have to wake up, my sleeping beauty, or you’ll never adjust to the time zone.” He gets off of Yuuri, though, only to return a moment later and set something much lighter on top of him. “See, Mieshka’s already awake and ready to go out.”

When Yuuri tries to roll over, Mieko falls off of his back, giggling as she tips over onto the bed. Yuuri sits up and, after fumbling for a moment, puts his glasses on his face before pulling her into his lap. “Is that true? Do you want to go out into the cold to go shopping?” he asks her, very seriously.

Mieko giggles. “Shia!”

“Viktor, I told you to stop letting Phichit talk to her in Thai,” Yuuri sighs. “Give me a minute, we can go out.”

“He said he was teaching her how to say thank you!” Viktor complains as he takes Mieko so that Yuuri can get up. They bicker playfully about all of the languages she’s learning, and the inevitable dirty words she’ll learn with their friends teaching her, all the way into the city. They wander for hours, until night falls and the Christmas stalls are lit.

“Your birthday is soon, isn’t it?” Like Yuuri hasn’t known when Viktor’s birthday is for years. “What do you want for your birthday?”

Viktor hums quietly, sipping on a cup of mulled wine he had purchased from a vendor. Mieko is strapped to Yuuri’s chest, sleeping soundly as they lazily make their way towards the hotel. “I don’t know. We don’t really celebrate it before the day in Russia.”

“But is there anything you want?” Yuuri presses.

“No, I don’t think so. I only want to spend the day with you and Mieko.”

The thought of not getting anything for Viktor leaves a sour taste in Yuuri’s mouth and it’s not until he sees the shop front from a distance that it disappears. “Viktor, we have to go in there.”

When he slides a gold band on Viktor’s finger in front of a church, their daughter strapped to his chest, and tell Viktor everything in his heart, he knows what it means to him. When Viktor does the same for him, Yuuri is certain that Viktor feels the same way.  
  
Later, they stumble upon Yuri and Otabek having tea in a cafe. Yuri immediately takes Mieko, who has only just woken up, and snaps a picture.

[image.jpeg]  
**yuri_plisetsky** _Favorite uncle at it again #BestUncleEver_

“I swear, it’s like you two just steal her to try to one up each other,” Yuuri says when they sit down with the other pair.

“Duh, what else are you supposed to do with babies?” Yuri rolls his eyes, but refuses to give Mieko up when Yuuri offers and he actually sticks his tongue out when Phichit shows up a few minutes later, hands making a grabbing motion as soon as he gets close. “Suck it, Chulanont.”

“Yuuuuuri, baby Yuri won’t let me hold the baby!” Phichit whines.

“I’m not baby Yuri! I was here first!”

Phichit coos at Yuri, using baby talk until Yuuri tells him to stop. The group settles in at a table, only to add another chair as Chris joins them. The cafe lets them stay, despite the few times they get rowdy, but the final straw happens when Phichit catches sight of Yuuri’s hand. He let out an undignified squeal.

“KATSUKI YUURI IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS,” he shrieks, garnering dirty looks from patrons and staff alike.

“Uhm, maybe?” Yuuri says.

“They’re engagement rings!” Viktor adds, pulling Yuuri to him and kissing his temple. “We’re going to get married after Yuuri wins gold!”

The others at the table congratulate them and when Chris announces it to the room at large, most people let out a cheer and the staff claps obligingly. 

“Hahah, I’ll be the one winning gold and marrying the love of my life,” a voice booms, and they turn to see the last skater of the Grand Prix in the doorway, his arm around a pretty little beta woman.

“Oh, hi, JJ,” Chris says unenthusiastically, turning slightly away from the man. The rest of the table gives half hearted greetings as well as the man continues to boast about how well he’s going to do, now that Viktor has retired. It only takes a few seconds before the group stands and leaves as one, Yuuri snatching Mieko back as she starts falling asleep on the way back to the hotel.

The competition kicks off and Yuuri is nervous; his previous time at the Grand Prix had been less than stellar, though, as Viktor reminds him, he did get Mieko out of it. Yuuri doesn’t even try to find fault in that logic.

There’s an upset on the first day as Yuri breaks Viktor’s previous world record for a short program with a program that Viktor had choreographed for him. Yuri hadn’t been able to get Agape down the previous year and ended up using a different short program as a substitute, according to Viktor, but this year, something had changed and the routine is nothing short of amazing. They cheer for him, but Yuuri’s nerves grow and grow as his mind psyches him out. Though he doesn’t managed to cleanly land his quad flip, it's in the program and he finishes in fourth place at the end of the day. His only solace is that JJ far under performs his program; he feels bad for him, though, knowing how bad performance anxiety can be and how terrible it is when they hit at one of the biggest competitions.

“Do you miss it?” Yuuri asks that night, Viktor curled around him in their shared bed. Mieko sleeps away in her hotel-issued crib; Yuuri can just make out the shape of her little butt up in the air.

“Miss what?” Viktor mumbles sleepily.

“Skating.”

“I skate with you all the time, _lyubov moy_.”

“I mean competitively, Vitya.”

“Oh.” Viktor lets out a hum, pulling Yuuri tighter against him. “I suppose I do, but we have to retire eventually. I can still skate on the show circuit or something. What brought this on?”

Yuuri shrugs, absently playing with the fingers of the arm Vitkor has thrown over his waist. “I just thought… You looked really focused, watching the other skaters. I wondered if you missed it. The thrill of the competition and all of that.”

“I do, but this is good too. Better, in some ways. The ice was my first love, after all, but getting to see you conquer it and become more confident over the past few months, well. That’s a whole different level right there. You can’t really compare the two.” Viktor pauses for a moment. “You’re not thinking of-”

“No, no, no, I was just… thinking.” He presses a kiss to Viktor’s ring. “Thank you.”

“For what, _pryanichek_?”

“For having more faith that I’ll win than I do. That’s all I really need.” He feels a kiss at the back of his head.

“Then I’ll keep doing so until you believe it as much as me.”

888

Yuuri wins silver, despite a world record breaking free skate score, but it’s still more than he could have expected with taking a year off of skating to have a child. When you add in how he did the year before that, it’s amazing he’s on the podium at all, he thinks. Yuri takes home the gold, by a mere fraction of a point.

Yuuri closes that gap at the World Championships after taking gold at both Four Continents and the Japanese Nationals. For the next six years, they trade gold and silver podium places, Yuuri steals gold at the Olympics, and in the off season, Yuri comes out to Japan to try and steal the title of Best Uncle from Phichit.

And then Yuuri retires, feet aching as he hangs up his skates after beating Yuri one last time, with gold medals across the boards. Mieko is waiting for them when they get back, seven years old and growing faster each day, Yuuri thinks.

888

“ _Porosenok_ , where are my knife shoes,” Yura snaps as he storms into the kitchen, where Mieko is sitting at the counter while Yuuri cooks breakfast.

“They’re in the front closet where they should be,” Yuuri replies, turning around so he can put a plate in front of his daughter. He rubs his swollen belly where her little brother is kicking viciously like he wants to escape. _Not yet, you still have two months to go_ , Yuuri thinks, pressing a hand to a spot where a particularly persistent elbow or foot pushes hard.

“Aw, is my little _tigr_ causing his _okaasan_ trouble this morning?” Viktor says as he steps out of the pantry, handing Yuuri their bento boxes.

“Two points for papa for two different languages!” Mieko pipes up. She starts to get up to mark on the board where they keep tally to see who can get the most vocabulary in a week, but stops when Yura tells her to, sitting down with a pout as he adds two tallies under Viktor’s name.

“Always. He’ll play football, I’m sure,” Yuuri says with a sigh. He leans in for a kiss when Viktor moves in for one and Yura makes retching noises from behind them.

“You’d think being with Otabek for the past few years would have mellowed him out some,” Viktor fake whispers.

“Leave Beka out of this!”

“Go find your skates, Yura, it’s almost time for practice,” Yuuri says before they can start arguing. Again. “Vitya, don’t tease him this early.” He starts to pull away so that he can pack lunch for the two of them, off to the rink for another day of training, but Viktor grabs his hand and kisses him one more time before he sinks down to his knees, hands framing Yuuri’s belly.

“Now _tigr_ , you behave for Mama today, okay? Don’t wear him out too much.” He kisses the shirt stretched over their child. “I love you.”

He stands, groaning as his body straightens, before kissing Mieko on the head as well. “Be good, _solnyshko_ , help Mama out today. Can you do that, my big girl?”

“Of course I can, Papa! I’m a _pêng_ girl!”

“A point for Mieko!”

She wiggles happily in her seat, obviously itching to go make a mark, but she stay seated and eats her breakfast. “I love you, Papa.”

“I love you too, _solnyshko_ , and I will see you tonight.”

The very last thing Viktor does is go back to Yuuri and kiss him one last time. “I love you, _moy zoloto_.”

“I love you more, Vicchan.”

“I love you most."

_See you nex-_

*record scratches*

“YOU’RE BOTH GROSS, LET’S LEAVE ALREADY!” - Yura, the long suffering one, says from the front door where he’s glaring in their general direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These Thai translations are from google, go yell at that:
> 
> Tūd - ass  
> Shia - damn it  
> Pêng - big
> 
> And so is this Russian one:
> 
> Porosenok - piggy
> 
> I am not happy with this ending, simply because I had that ending scene in my head forever and it didn't translate as well as I wanted when I started writing. Ugh, fuck my life.
> 
> Aaaaand I guess if anyone has prompts, you can send them to me on tumblr (so I don't lose them)? I'm on there as azraeldoesnotdispute. I'll do my best to fill them, but I'm also working on a Princess Bride/faerie au right now, so there will be bouncing around.


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